Hi, Susieb,
From where did you get the idea that counselling might be an indulgence? Oh, yes, sorry, I know that one - did it myself a few weeks ago when I sobbed in front of the counsellor telling her about my guilt..... guilt (at that particular moment)because I was spending time with someone who was not my mum, my son or my husband all of whom necessarily rely on me in various ways.....and wracked with guilt for daring to have 45 minutes with a professional to try to preserve my own sanity.....
As far as bereavement goes, this IS a bereavement insofar as it is a loss (of what or who we knew). Loss/bereavement does not have to mean death - and from my own experience some losses are harder to cope with because there is no 'finite' or forseeable or even predictable conclusion.
I used to love that phrase 'as one door shuts another opens'.....it used to make me feel positive about change, even if the change was unwelcome..... now I want to scream 'will someone either shut the bloody thing or wedge it open permanently?!'.... dealing with the door 'ajar' is tough - hard to move on.......
Take all the help you can get...
Just sending huge hugs for now and hoping they help a little, Karen (TF), x