Could Mum Be Taken Out of Care Home? Help please!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by susanandliam, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Hi,

    I am having a nightmare with my brother who I share Joint and several POA with. If anyone has any information/advice or experience of this I would be so grateful for some help.

    It is so hard dealing with my Mums deterioration but made a million times worse by having to deal with my brother who is aggressive towards me and seems in complete denial as to how bad my Mum is.:(

    He and his wife only live half an hour away but he only visits her once a week if that and his wife has visited twice since July.

    I am staying near my Mum and have been caring for her on a daily basis but I am only here (I live over 5 hours away) until January and have been trying to sort things out over the last few months.

    I have asked Social Care for advice they have told me that my Mum lacks mental capacity. They have advised that we go down the route of putting sensors in to start with to monitor Mum going out but if she does continue to go out (she has had numerous falls) with the response time I can't see the point of it.

    The installation team are taking forever to actually install anything.

    Everyone seems to be sitting on the fence, we have had two meetings with Social services and as far as any progress with my brother it's a complete waste of time.

    I seriously think that if I go home and leave my Mum here she will be at risk she should not be left on her own anymore I have told Social Services this.

    The question is if I put my Mum into a care home would my brother be able to take her out?
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,883
    Female
    Scotland
    Why would he want to? If he hardly visits then it is unlikely he would accept responsibility for her and the wife is not likely to want her. You do what you think is best.
     
  3. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,108
    Male
    North Manchester
    #3 nitram, Nov 22, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2015
    "The question is if I put my Mum into a care home would my brother be able to take her out?"

    As your Mum lacks capacity only if the POA is a Health and Welfare LPA, otherwise a best interests meeting would have to be called to decide on a change of residence.

    Equally you would have no power to 'put my Mum into a care home'
     
  4. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thank you, I'm not sure if he wouldn't just take her out if he could because he disagrees.

    It's so difficult he doesn't want to accept how unwell she is and that she needs looking after.
     
  5. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thank you Nitram, yes we do have a Health and Welfare LPA s well as the financial one.

    It's just that it would be the last thing I would want to do if he can legally then remove her from the home with all the extra distress that would cause her

    I have tried and tried talking to him but he just doesn't understand or want to understand how bad she is.
     
  6. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    I hope this question doesn't upset you but as you care for your mum and from what you say you have a close relationship with her and wish to make sure she is well cared for in the best possible way, would she not be better in a care home or in some kind of accommodation near where you live? It just seems that you would be able to keep an eye on her care and still have quality time with her and he could visit a few times a year - would it not make more sense for your mum's well being??
     

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