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Could Mum be nearing the end???..

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Gosh do not understand why the nurse had to explain so explicily in what was happening to your mums eyes while having an epileptic Seizure.
No wonder your worried sick.


My older daughter has had Seizure like that in the past, she came around very fast also, but
Can understand why you are so worried .

( “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
– Arthur Somers Roche)


Easy said then done I know as I am not walking in your shoes.

But we all do it, we want to know How long...... that we end up missing the good moments in time that we have with our love ones, even if its just holding their hand giving comfort to them .

Take care of yourself while trying not to be so hard on yourself.
wishing you both all the best x
 
Last edited:

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
England
Hello, I am back again in the search of more advice, answers, anything to make things better!!!

. . . . .
I know I have mentioned before that mum is epileptic and medication has been greatly increased however today, the nurse said that she went into room and mums eyes were at the back of her head rolling like and she was trembling.

The carer went and got nurse and within five to ten mins mum appeared to be better. They think this was some other kind of seizure??? I have witnessed mum have some serious seizures but not like this or coming around so quickly.

I'm just worried sick. I am. When or if something will happen? How long does mum have? I know we just don't know. I wish it was me and not my mum having to go through this.

I'm just waiting on a call all time now or it be when we are there or that scared to leave her.

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Firstly a little reassurance.

There are many types of seizures from an 'absence seizure' to a full 'tonic-clonic seizure', with fits and possible loss of consciousness.

My mother has had all types over the past 2 and a bit years. When she first started with the tonic-clonic ones the Home were anxious and the Dr. put her on Nil by Mouth and thought it was the end.
However it was not.
It was very frightening when I witnessed the first tonic-clonic one myself, but I recognised it straight away (having been in teaching I knew the differences) sent for a nurse and they administered medication straight away and she was fine soon after. Though very tired for a few hours after.

She used to have one episode about every 3-6 months. Then May last year they escalated to one a week, even two on one day until November. then back to only monthly / bi-monthly episodes.

Now it's just the 'new norm' for my mother and the Home no longer panic to send for me. When they do contact me I phone every half-hour and then decide whether to visit or not. I feel I've sat too many times by my mother's 'potential dying bedside' for it to matter whether I'm there 'at the final end' or not. I've said Goodbye and told her it's alright to let go' too many times.

Yes, every episode could signal a deterioration, but in my mother's case any deterioration would be hard to find. She only has the ability to hold up her head and to breathe left to lose.

In an already poor state of health, any episode could of course be very dangerous, and signal a final downturn. However it could also just be more problems with lesions in the brain. You cannot stay permanently in a 'state of readiness'.
Believe me I know.
 
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Careforme

Registered User
Apr 15, 2014
53
Hi all, I hope you are as well as can all be.

Sadly, my mum passed away on 4/4/17. I am absolutely devastated yet happy in some weird horrible way that mum is now finally at peace and no longer suffering.

Both my brother and I were with her right to the very end holding her hand as she took her last breath.

The past three months were just so terrible and cruel for mum. From numerous chest infections again and sepsis. Not eating or drinking. Just everything was gone.

We stayed with her every night in same room in nursing home by her side until the time came.

The funeral is next Tuesday and I am filled with so many emotions. Mainly being scared and so so sad and empty.

I do not know how to get through this and I just miss mum so much.

Xx



Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,316
69
Dundee
I'm sorry to hear about your mum but I'm glad you were at peace. It's good you were with her at the end. Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come.
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
England
Hi all, I hope you are as well as can all be.

Sadly, my mum passed away on 4/4/17. I am absolutely devastated yet happy in some weird horrible way that mum is now finally at peace and no longer suffering.

Both my brother and I were with her right to the very end holding her hand as she took her last breath.

The past three months were just so terrible and cruel for mum. From numerous chest infections again and sepsis. Not eating or drinking. Just everything was gone.

We stayed with her every night in same room in nursing home by her side until the time came.

The funeral is next Tuesday and I am filled with so many emotions. Mainly being scared and so so sad and empty.

I do not know how to get through this and I just miss mum so much.

Xx



Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
So it was indeed 'the end' for your mum!

I understand the conflict of emotions you may be feeling. Glad and relieved that she no longer has to suffer, yet that awful feeling of emptiness and finality. At least that's what I felt after my m-i-l's recent demise- though she didn't have dementia like my mother. In fact it was over 3 weeks after that the 'reality really 'hit' and I truly started to grieve.
 

Merrymaid

Registered User
Feb 21, 2014
304
So sorry for your loss, take comfort that you and your brother were able to be with her at the end.

On a personal note thank you for your posts, as you have identified possible markers my own Mum is showing that I haven't seen mentioned any where else.

My sincere condolences to you and your family.xxx
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,166
Yorkshire
thinking of you today Careforme
I hope all goes as you wish
and you and your brother find some peace as your much loved mum now has
 

Careforme

Registered User
Apr 15, 2014
53
Thank you all so very much for your kind words and support.

Mums funeral was yesterday, one of the hardest and strangest days ever. I managed to hold it together for mum, dad and brother. My brother did a tribute speech that we both wrote together and I am so proud of him.

Everything seems a blur just now. So out of place and just so unreal feeling. I had a lot of wise words from family and friends yesterday and the word 'adjust' kept coming up. I guess it will be adjusting. From everyday looking after mum with everything and dad also to just not doing this anymore. My parents have always been the most important thing to me and I am worried about dad too.

I know how Ill mum was and how much she suffered through her illness and I guess the only comfort I have is knowing she is at peace and no longer ill. It still does not make it any easier and I feel selfish. I wish my mum was still here in the way she was before ever being ill.

My friends had booked a cottage a long while back and invited myself anc partner to go for some time away. We are meant to go this weekend. Part of me wants to go, part of me does not. Part of me just does not actually know what I even want to do. Then I'm worrying not being here for dad for two days. I know he will encourage me but still does not feel right.

I know this is going to take time. I guess I'm just worrying what it's going to be like each day as it goes on.

Thank you so much for your advice and support xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

realist1234

Registered User
Oct 30, 2014
108
Thank you all so very much for your kind words and support.

Mums funeral was yesterday, one of the hardest and strangest days ever. I managed to hold it together for mum, dad and brother. My brother did a tribute speech that we both wrote together and I am so proud of him.

Everything seems a blur just now. So out of place and just so unreal feeling. I had a lot of wise words from family and friends yesterday and the word 'adjust' kept coming up. I guess it will be adjusting. From everyday looking after mum with everything and dad also to just not doing this anymore. My parents have always been the most important thing to me and I am worried about dad too.

I know how Ill mum was and how much she suffered through her illness and I guess the only comfort I have is knowing she is at peace and no longer ill. It still does not make it any easier and I feel selfish. I wish my mum was still here in the way she was before ever being ill.

My friends had booked a cottage a long while back and invited myself anc partner to go for some time away. We are meant to go this weekend. Part of me wants to go, part of me does not. Part of me just does not actually know what I even want to do. Then I'm worrying not being here for dad for two days. I know he will encourage me but still does not feel right.

I know this is going to take time. I guess I'm just worrying what it's going to be like each day as it goes on.

Thank you so much for your advice and support xx


I know how you feel, as my mum passed away just over a week ago. Part of me feels it wasnt her time yet, if only we had encouraged her more to eat and drink. But I suppose we did our best. She was in a nursing home and I visited her at least once a week - I find it strange that I wont be doing that anymore as it became part of my 'routine' for the last 4 years. Now that the funeral is over and everyone has gone their own ways, I feel a bit at a loss.
 

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