Corona virus in the care home

Unhappy15

Registered User
Feb 7, 2015
144
Last night I got the call I was dreading.
Although the care home has been in lockdown for three weeks two of the residents are now in hospital with confirmed Covid19.
A week ago my husband had a bad day of sickness and high temperature but recovered the next day. Yesterday he had a very upset stomach but no temperature, all residents are now in their rooms.

So now I'm here on my own and all I want is to go to him and hold him, I don't want him to feel abandoned by me but I am not allowed in.
I am so frightened what the next phone call may bring and the feeling of helplessness is dreadful.
I am not religious but I am praying right now to see him again.

Please stay safe.
Kathy
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,600
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Im sorry, its the news we all dread.
Stay strong, we will get through this
 

Unhappy15

Registered User
Feb 7, 2015
144
Thank you Canary and Kat27 for your kind wishes.
The latest update I have had is there were five residents in hospital one of whom has since died and one has recovered.
My husband is quite unwell and they are monitoring him.
The worst thing as I said before is this feeling of having no control, he is there, I am here and who knows what next.
To all on TP take care and keep safe.
Kathy
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,388
@Unhappy15, so sorry to hear about your husband. Not being able to be there or to do anything to help must be impossibly hard, but as @canary says stay strong.
 

Unhappy15

Registered User
Feb 7, 2015
144
Thank you all for your kind words and hugs, they mean so much.
When I was first told that the home would be in lockdown I felt straightaway that I would never see him again. I have to face facts that he is 86 in a couple of weeks and has underlying illnesses apart from dementia.
On the plus side Joe has had a good life, he has had a successful career, travelled and lived life his way, there can be no complaints.
I have to keep this as a perspective and not to feel sorry for myself because there are a great many people in much worse situations.
Take care and stay safe.
Kathy
 

Scotsfloat

Registered User
Dec 28, 2015
70
Hi,
I'm really sorry to hear of your distressing predicament. I too had a call from my mum's Care Home yesterday to say that two residents had tested positive for Covid-19. The Care Home has been in lockdown for weeks and only has about 15 residents. The two infected people are being cared for there rather than being taken to hospital as I’m guessing keeping them comfortable in familiar surroundings is the priority. My mum is 91 and is at the end stage of Alzheimer’s so I think if she got it there wouldn’t be much that could be done. It’s very hard not to have the freedom to decide if/when I want to visit. The Care Home Manager has already discussed with me who will ‘stand in’ for me at the end if it comes to that. The Care Home is very good but I’m wondering how easily the virus can spread even if stringent procedures are in place.
Sending you a virtual hug xxx
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,812
North West
Hi,
I'm really sorry to hear of your distressing predicament. I too had a call from my mum's Care Home yesterday to say that two residents had tested positive for Covid-19. The Care Home has been in lockdown for weeks and only has about 15 residents. The two infected people are being cared for there rather than being taken to hospital as I’m guessing keeping them comfortable in familiar surroundings is the priority. My mum is 91 and is at the end stage of Alzheimer’s so I think if she got it there wouldn’t be much that could be done. It’s very hard not to have the freedom to decide if/when I want to visit. The Care Home Manager has already discussed with me who will ‘stand in’ for me at the end if it comes to that. The Care Home is very good but I’m wondering how easily the virus can spread even if stringent procedures are in place.
Sending you a virtual hug xxx
It doesn't take much reasoning to realise it probably has spread around the care home. Its an awful situation to be in and I always knew that at some point mum would leave this world and now with this the chances have increased significantly on top of her recent decline in health. I just hope that if this does end badly for us that we are at least given the chance to visit if we want to take the risk and say goodbye.

Best wishes to all those in a similar situation -I don't have any other wise words to offer
 

Unhappy15

Registered User
Feb 7, 2015
144
Hello Scotsfloat,

In my husbands home they are keeping them in their rooms but that's ok for the residents, like my husband, who are not mobile but you do have 'wanderers', so in that situation I expect it can be difficult to control.
I know with my husbands other conditions and given he is frail, he is in the same situation as your mother, not a lot could be done.
It's so hard isn't it, after 40years together I find it almost unbearable that it could end like this and pray it doesn't.
Keep safe
Kathy
 

Scotsfloat

Registered User
Dec 28, 2015
70
Hello Scotsfloat,

In my husbands home they are keeping them in their rooms but that's ok for the residents, like my husband, who are not mobile but you do have 'wanderers', so in that situation I expect it can be difficult to control.
I know with my husbands other conditions and given he is frail, he is in the same situation as your mother, not a lot could be done.
It's so hard isn't it, after 40years together I find it almost unbearable that it could end like this and pray it doesn't.
Keep safe
Kathy
It is so very hard as it is all so unexpected; it is such a surreal situation. I hope that as your husband is mostly in his room it will give him more protection from the infection. I really hope things get better and we can move onto safer times. xxx
 

Scotsfloat

Registered User
Dec 28, 2015
70
It doesn't take much reasoning to realise it probably has spread around the care home. Its an awful situation to be in and I always knew that at some point mum would leave this world and now with this the chances have increased significantly on top of her recent decline in health. I just hope that if this does end badly for us that we are at least given the chance to visit if we want to take the risk and say goodbye.

Best wishes to all those in a similar situation -I don't have any other wise words to offer
During my discussion with the Care Home Manager, I asked the question about whether I could visit my mum if she was at the very end of life and was told that however difficult this would be for me, they very strongly advised against it for fear of me becoming infected and potentially spreading it. Even though it wasn't an absolute definite no, I think I would ultimately feel reckless if I did visit her, so sadly probably wouldn't. However, I think it has to be a personal choice and if sufficient precautions are made I can see that it could still be an option. I hope things work out for you and you are not faced with such a distressing dilemma xxx
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,825
Last night I got the call I was dreading.
Although the care home has been in lockdown for three weeks two of the residents are now in hospital with confirmed Covid19.
A week ago my husband had a bad day of sickness and high temperature but recovered the next day. Yesterday he had a very upset stomach but no temperature, all residents are now in their rooms.

So now I'm here on my own and all I want is to go to him and hold him, I don't want him to feel abandoned by me but I am not allowed in.
I am so frightened what the next phone call may bring and the feeling of helplessness is dreadful.
I am not religious but I am praying right now to see him again.

Please stay safe.
Kathy
I am in a very similar situation, I have not seen my husband since lockdown on the 16th, during that time he was taken to hospital with suspected Corvid, I too felt scared for him and thought I would never see him again.
The Home staff went into panic as the word got out, the manager was brilliant.

He is now back in the home, on 14 day isolation and he is finding that really hard. He knows he is the only one. He hears others who are free. The staff are good but normal life in the home goes on, my fear for him is that staff are too stretched.
I try to talk to him on the phone so much depends on how he is at the time I phone.
Today I am going to try FaceTime as the Home have now set this up.
I am trying to get letters delivered, a mixture of reassurance and memory joggers.
Body language is so important with dementia, so I hope Face Time works.
I felt really disturbed after a call on Saturday, our daughter took things he needed over and a staff member took her phone and took a photo of him in his different room. Now I can envisulise the surrounding. This has helped.
My daughter saw I was upset, she thought distraught but boy she has seen nothing yet. She should see me with a pillow over my head having a good wail.
Not for me but for the love of my life who needs love more than ever.
I even had the wild idea to go in with him for a while but common sense said that really would complicate things on all levels.

I pray, more like an continual conversation, so pray as you can not how you think you should. My prayers have been answered but not always as I would have thought at the time. In hindsight I have found wisdom greater than mine at the time,
Help has come from unexpected sources, strength has come to help me carry the load. Strength I never knew I had.
You take care too, I am self isolating as in a vulnerable group but above all need to be well for when we come out of this, x
 

Margaret Ann

New member
Apr 6, 2020
1
Last night I got the call I was dreading.
Although the care home has been in lockdown for three weeks two of the residents are now in hospital with confirmed Covid19.
A week ago my husband had a bad day of sickness and high temperature but recovered the next day. Yesterday he had a very upset stomach but no temperature, all residents are now in their rooms.

So now I'm here on my own and all I want is to go to him and hold him, I don't want him to feel abandoned by me but I am not allowed in.
I am so frightened what the next phone call may bring and the feeling of helplessness is dreadful.
I am not religious but I am praying right now to see him again.

Please stay safe.
Kathy
I guess all we can say is hang on in there, we are thinking of you. Maybe your husband has an ordinary tummy bug? If so, he may be better soon. Good luck. ❤