Hi I am new to the board. My mum is 57 and has had AD for 11 years now, I was 14 when the symptoms first started. She is in the what I would imagine is the very late stages of AD now. I moved to England from the caribbean because it was time to put her in a home and I could not cope with the guilt I felt. I have been bottling everything up for the last 3 years now, I try talking about it but just end up in floods of tears where I just end up crying and not actually talking. I visit every year, but I still feel guilty about what happened in the early years of her having AD before it was diagnosed. In the early days I remember being embarrassed when she would ask my friends the same questions over and over, possibly only 30 seconds in between, and I feel guilty for losing my patience with her when she could not follow simple instructions. I feel angry and cheated for what has happened to her, I feel angry for my mum being dragged away from me. I feel sorry for my dad being lonely for the rest of his life without companionship. How do you deal with all this? People keep saying that you should talk about it, but I end up crying until I make myself physically sick. Does anyone know how?