I arranged to take a long-standing friend of my mother's to visit mum in hospital today ...... a previous neighbour from 40+ years ago who has known me since being a toddler as well as being a co-worker and good friend to mum over the years, although for health reasons of her own not a frequent visitor .....she was horrified at my mother's presentation and as aghast as me that the 'lady she lunched with' less than two months ago presents as she does now (obviously lots of physical problems going on besides the dementia and we are looking at end of life care) ...... the rapid physical and mental decline is unbelievable ....
Came away today, heartbroken, mum didn't recognise her friend initially .... (but after some coaxing she did and they got on to 'old memories' and it was a fairly successful visit in the end for mum, at least) .....and that her friend said she would not have not recognised my mum had she not been there with me ........ I don't know which crippled me the most.
I have contacted the 'circle' of old friends and family (which mum has managed not to fall out with pre or post-dementia!) to alert them to the seriousness of the situation .... but wonder if I am doing right? It was so distressing for mum's friend today (I should have made the effort more often') and I felt so much for her ..... ... and distressing for mum (that she struggled to remember her 'best friend' from years ago).
I'm so grateful for people visiting alongside me who can sit and chat and recall tales which do seem to raise her consciousness .... better than my chit-chat of 'I've washed your nighties' ..... but I'm not sure it's fair ....... on mum, me or them .... any thoughts?
Love, Karen, x
Came away today, heartbroken, mum didn't recognise her friend initially .... (but after some coaxing she did and they got on to 'old memories' and it was a fairly successful visit in the end for mum, at least) .....and that her friend said she would not have not recognised my mum had she not been there with me ........ I don't know which crippled me the most.
I have contacted the 'circle' of old friends and family (which mum has managed not to fall out with pre or post-dementia!) to alert them to the seriousness of the situation .... but wonder if I am doing right? It was so distressing for mum's friend today (I should have made the effort more often') and I felt so much for her ..... ... and distressing for mum (that she struggled to remember her 'best friend' from years ago).
I'm so grateful for people visiting alongside me who can sit and chat and recall tales which do seem to raise her consciousness .... better than my chit-chat of 'I've washed your nighties' ..... but I'm not sure it's fair ....... on mum, me or them .... any thoughts?
Love, Karen, x