Hi,
Complete newcomer to the site and I'm just looking really to try & gain some comfort in our situation whilst I come to terms with it.
Over the past 18 months since my mum was retired off early from work (she's now 68) my brother, sister & I saw a change in mums behaviour and it was officially diagnosed in November that she has vascular dementia.
The advice provided was to leave her to be as Independant as she always has been (lives alone as now divorced) and to encourage her to still go shopping etc I.e live a normal life. It now seems very quickly that she is not able to do this - she stares into the distance in shops, she has no awareness of money/debit card use and doesn't know really what to do in a supermarket - something she was doing everyday.
She has stopped getting changed for bed & has stopped getting baths and she's generally lost the ability to dress herself properly - (clothes back to front and not done up correctly).
Also she seems to be obsessed by certain things - she's obsessed by going to the bank everyday (paying in coppers at a time) and the phone calls that we're all getting are relentless (through the night to random people such as the hairdresser and dials gang family members). She has lost the ability to tell the time completely and has no concept really of day or night.
I am struggling with the emotional side of things - one minute I'm logical and think to myself remember this isn't mum now but then I get angry which then leads to sadness as the change has been so rapid.
I feel guilty everytime I leave her as she's alone and it really upsets me. Last night for example she called at 7pm to say all her lights had tripped & could I go round - to go round and find a neighbour had reset the electrics for her. I was mad as it meant I had left my son when he needed feeding to go round immediately but then I was so sad leaving her on her own and looking frail and vulnerable.
What is making it worse for me is I have (4 weeks ago) given birth to my first son which in itself is really emotional but add into the mix the emotion of my mum situation it's making me super emotional and crying quite a lot which is marring the start of my new family.
We have carers starting today (thankfully) who are going in morning & night to help get mum dressed & fed and help take medication but I can't help feeling guilty still & am really struggling to feel positive.
Sorry for the long post and I'm not sure what advice or support I can ask for but I guess I just wanted somewhere to vent and get it out. Just feels like everyday is consumed by this issue and it's starting to really affect me. (I should also point out that my brother & sister don't live in the same town as me or my mother leaving more of the responsibility to me).
Thanks
Newmum1
Complete newcomer to the site and I'm just looking really to try & gain some comfort in our situation whilst I come to terms with it.
Over the past 18 months since my mum was retired off early from work (she's now 68) my brother, sister & I saw a change in mums behaviour and it was officially diagnosed in November that she has vascular dementia.
The advice provided was to leave her to be as Independant as she always has been (lives alone as now divorced) and to encourage her to still go shopping etc I.e live a normal life. It now seems very quickly that she is not able to do this - she stares into the distance in shops, she has no awareness of money/debit card use and doesn't know really what to do in a supermarket - something she was doing everyday.
She has stopped getting changed for bed & has stopped getting baths and she's generally lost the ability to dress herself properly - (clothes back to front and not done up correctly).
Also she seems to be obsessed by certain things - she's obsessed by going to the bank everyday (paying in coppers at a time) and the phone calls that we're all getting are relentless (through the night to random people such as the hairdresser and dials gang family members). She has lost the ability to tell the time completely and has no concept really of day or night.
I am struggling with the emotional side of things - one minute I'm logical and think to myself remember this isn't mum now but then I get angry which then leads to sadness as the change has been so rapid.
I feel guilty everytime I leave her as she's alone and it really upsets me. Last night for example she called at 7pm to say all her lights had tripped & could I go round - to go round and find a neighbour had reset the electrics for her. I was mad as it meant I had left my son when he needed feeding to go round immediately but then I was so sad leaving her on her own and looking frail and vulnerable.
What is making it worse for me is I have (4 weeks ago) given birth to my first son which in itself is really emotional but add into the mix the emotion of my mum situation it's making me super emotional and crying quite a lot which is marring the start of my new family.
We have carers starting today (thankfully) who are going in morning & night to help get mum dressed & fed and help take medication but I can't help feeling guilty still & am really struggling to feel positive.
Sorry for the long post and I'm not sure what advice or support I can ask for but I guess I just wanted somewhere to vent and get it out. Just feels like everyday is consumed by this issue and it's starting to really affect me. (I should also point out that my brother & sister don't live in the same town as me or my mother leaving more of the responsibility to me).
Thanks
Newmum1