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coping with mum's agression

Lindsayks

New member
Jul 17, 2019
4
my 88 year old mother has vascular dementia. She was always a lovely kind lady, a stay at home mother and wife who loved to cook and run a wonderful home. Now she has dementia and is being looked after at home by my father (same age) she has started being absolutely vile and bullying towards him and acting like a sulky petulant child. Nothing he does is right, she accuses him of taking away her independence and controlling everything she does. She is sweetness and light to me and anyone else who is in the house - it only seems to be him that evokes such a hostile, nasty approach possibly because he is doing all of the things she used to do around the house in her own way (but can't now) . I have had to say to Mum that she has been nasty to Dad and apologise (real role reversal here!) but it has got to the point that he is almost afraid to say or do anything for fear of the backlash he will get.

Anyone else experienced this and got any advice for me ( and my poor father)?
 

TracyS

New member
Sep 30, 2019
9
is your mum on any medication? my mum has Alzheimer's and is on memantine, which is to help with agitation and she does seem more mellow than before. She wasn't hugely aggressive before but used to swear a lot but now seems more docile. Aggression and paranoia seem very common so hopefully your GP can recommend something that might help. Good luck!
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
405
Hi @Lindsayks
I empathise. At times I find it hard to remember that my mother was not always like this. I think I’m locking down my emotions rather than absorb any of this situation. At some point it’s going to have to come out. For now I cannot face it
 

Lindsayks

New member
Jul 17, 2019
4
is your mum on any medication? my mum has Alzheimer's and is on memantine, which is to help with agitation and she does seem more mellow than before. She wasn't hugely aggressive before but used to swear a lot but now seems more docile. Aggression and paranoia seem very common so hopefully your GP can recommend something that might help. Good luck!
thanks Tracy
 

Lindsayks

New member
Jul 17, 2019
4
Hi @Lindsayks
I empathise. At times I find it hard to remember that my mother was not always like this. I think I’m locking down my emotions rather than absorb any of this situation. At some point it’s going to have to come out. For now I cannot face it
Thanks Splashing about - it's hard isn't it.