Hi everyone Well its finally happening MIL is moving into a home. She has attended the day centre for several months and is very happy. We can't cope anymore. She can't be left alone and is double incontinent she will not wash or let us do her washing so now we think its for the best. The question is we can't tell her. She has had a heart attack in the past and hyperventilates when upset. What have other people done? Do you just leave them with the home and not tell them then just start visiting? It makes us feel so guilty the thought of doing this. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with herself but we really can't do the caring anymore. Does anyone have advice please. We have been looking after her for 10 years and now we are having to look after our transgender child who is going through a difficult time and needs our attention.