• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

coping stratergies?

bagee

Registered User
Jun 2, 2015
15
Hi all. I look after mum, 84 years, moderate stage. What does this mean? I just know since march and the diagnosis life has been a living hell! Life was 'normal' one week and plunged into a big black hole the next, everything has happnened so fast i,m still spinning. Had someone to talk to recently so hopefully i can get help for mum and selfishfully me. I really need to know what coping stratergies you all have as I'm willing to try them all..... I don,t know what to say to her when she talks of my brother who died recently as she thinks he,s still with us and I am no longer who i really am in her eyes, I remind her of my name constantly but should I? God i could go on and on but I'd not stop lol. The sundowning seems tends to be more frequent in the day now and swear mornings are heading that way too! Sorry to ramble folks. I love my mum to bits but she's slipping away. Look forward to any replies. Thanks x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,364
South coast
Hi bagee and welcome to Talking point.
People with dementia can go down at different rates - sometimes slowly, sometimes quite rapidly. I had the same thing with my mum, I first got the inkling that there was something wrong in the January (last year) and by the June she had lost capacity!
It was a roller coaster of a ride where she seemed to go downhill every day and wouldnt accept any help. :mad:Over that past year, though everything seems to have leveled out and she is much more stable. She is also in a care home where she has settled.

Have you come across Compassionate Communication? Heres a link if you havent. I have found it very helpful.

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?30801-Compassionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired