I realise that my situation is not as bad as some people's, but I would appreciate any help as regard to telling/not telling people about my husband's vascular dementia. I tend to tell half lies by saying that he has had trouble with his medication for blood thinning. The truth is that he has had the medication to help his mood swings and his agression towards me. The tablets gave him terrible side effects. They were Lamictal. Except for our daughters and 3 friends I am having to live with the situation where I am my usual self when out playing golf and socialising...at least I am myself on the outside but inside I am feeling very upset and cannot show it. I don't want to show it either when I am out, but some of the women at the golf club are so SMUG with their lives. I feel very jealous and feel cheated. I don't want their sympathy. This all sounds very selfish but I compare myself to a swan...looking serene on the surface but paddling desperately underneath! Any hints and suggestion will be welcome. Thanks to you all for this excellent website.