Convinced husband has undiagnosed Picks Disease

[Skittles]

Hi everyone this is so tough to write this but I need advice. My 54 y/o husband is exhibiting every symptom of Picks disease. We are currently separated after several years of verbally abusive behavior & absolute confusion on my part as to what could be wrong. We have a teen daughter who is going off to college soon and needless to say it's been a nightmare for her too. He is currently still employed & is in control of our finances. I fear he is making poor financial decisions & need to try to do something now. I've been advised to seek a divorce first in order to protect the finances but fear that will cause him to spin out ofcontrol . Thinking Power of attorney would be nearly impossible to get as he thinks nothing is wrong with him. I fear a diagnosis will cause another job loss. Any advice is appreciated. We have been married over 20 years & this is heartbreaking but I need to protect our daughter

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Skittles. Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

I have no experience of the legalities of your situation and can only suggest you phone the Helpling for advice.

National Dementia Helpline

0300 222 11 22

Our helpline advisers are here for you.

Helpline opening hours:

Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm

Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm

Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm

 

[cobden 28]

Hi everyone this is so tough to write this but I need advice. My 54 y/o husband is exhibiting every symptom of Picks disease. We are currently separated after several years of verbally abusive behavior & absolute confusion on my part as to what could be wrong. We have a teen daughter who is going off to college soon and needless to say it's been a nightmare for her too. He is currently still employed & is in control of our finances. I fear he is making poor financial decisions & need to try to do something now. I've been advised to seek a divorce first in order to protect the finances but fear that will cause him to spin out ofcontrol . Thinking Power of attorney would be nearly impossible to get as he thinks nothing is wrong with him. I fear a diagnosis will cause another job loss. Any advice is appreciated. We have been married over 20 years & this is heartbreaking but I need to protect our daughter

You certainly need to get your finances separate from your husband. I presume that you have a joint bank account; if so and you are both signatories to it, if I were in your position I'd advise you withdraw 50% of the money in the joint account and transfer it into an account in your sole name that your husband has absolutely no access to. Get your name removed from the joint account so that in effect your bank accounts are entirely separate. As for bills, if they are in your husband's name then let him be responsible for paying out of his own money - if the bills are in joint names, write to whoever the bills are from explaining the situation and tell them you are no longer responsible for bills that are not in your name.

Is your husband still living under the same roof as you and your daughter? Who owns the property you live in - do you rent, have a mortgage, or is it owned outright?

Having separated from my ex-husband and finally divorced three years ago (no dementia involved, just a marriage breakdown after 43 years) I would also advise that you seek legal advice for the protection of your own situation and that of your daughter. As well as the Dementia Helpline suggested above I'd also advise speaking to the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) to see what your possible legal options are - and if you then decide that divorce is the way you want to proceed, most solicitors can offer a free half-hour initial consultation. Although you reckon your husband is showing signs of dementia but refuses to recognise that anything is wrong with him, I have to say that in this instance you have to put your welfare and that of your daughter first.

I hope things work out for you.