Hi all, I just joined this site. My uncle has dementia, is too confused & forgetful to do anything alone and has had several dr appts, scans, tests etc but is still insisting that there is nothing wrong with him except typical old age forgetfulness.
What I’m wondering is, is there any possibility of us as a family, between us, somehow helping him to face and accept what’s happening and work with us instead of against us in caring for him, or is denial of what’s happening a basically unshiftable position? I’d like to try if only because his wife is the only one trying to explain there’s something wrong in order to get him to doctors appointments so she’s getting lots of anger and abuse while he’s nice as pie to the rest of us who treat him with kid gloves and always go along with his version of events. I’ve read Contented Dementia and thought ok there’s no hope, the best we can do is try to smooth the road, but then read Wendy Mitchell’s amazing autobiography and am now wondering is it maybe not too late to enlist him into the team of people facing it head on together? (Hence my name flipper - I flip flop back and forth with everything I read!) So my question is - does anyone have any experience of someone in early stages shifting from denial to acceptance, and how did you get there? It seems like it’s worth trying if there’s even a tiny hope of success because in many ways his fear and shame and anger seem to be the biggest problems so far, and reading others stories on here, the anger and blaming one person can get so much worse once that’s the road taken. Thank you in advance.
What I’m wondering is, is there any possibility of us as a family, between us, somehow helping him to face and accept what’s happening and work with us instead of against us in caring for him, or is denial of what’s happening a basically unshiftable position? I’d like to try if only because his wife is the only one trying to explain there’s something wrong in order to get him to doctors appointments so she’s getting lots of anger and abuse while he’s nice as pie to the rest of us who treat him with kid gloves and always go along with his version of events. I’ve read Contented Dementia and thought ok there’s no hope, the best we can do is try to smooth the road, but then read Wendy Mitchell’s amazing autobiography and am now wondering is it maybe not too late to enlist him into the team of people facing it head on together? (Hence my name flipper - I flip flop back and forth with everything I read!) So my question is - does anyone have any experience of someone in early stages shifting from denial to acceptance, and how did you get there? It seems like it’s worth trying if there’s even a tiny hope of success because in many ways his fear and shame and anger seem to be the biggest problems so far, and reading others stories on here, the anger and blaming one person can get so much worse once that’s the road taken. Thank you in advance.