My mum is cared for my my dad. I would say she is in the middle stages. We have noticed severe bruising for a number of months now, on her arms, legs and also a black eye which spread all over her face and neck, a bruise in the nape of her neck and a very bad injury to her ear which resulted in an ambulance to hospital. I noticed yesterday that even her hands are bruised. My dad looks after my mum. He idolises me, as his only daughter and also his only grandchild. I am also sure he loves mum very much. They seem to have a good routine together and get out most days. We cannot shy away from the fact though that he is becoming physically abusive. At first, we thought maybe he was just abit heavy handed with her when crossing the road etc, as at first it was just bruising on her arms. But gradually it's getting worse. I give him every opportunity to say that he may have hurt her accidentally, but he swears blind he does not know how she gets these bruises. She invariably wets the bed most nights, which I know agitates him and she can't do anything about the home anymore,which again I know annoys him. On my previous postings I have told how he does not accept the situation and will not accept any help or admit to finding things hard. Mum is so inactive indoors, that she cannot possibly be injuring herself to this extent. Although she says she loves him and they still laugh and joke together, I think there is a different side to him, which she has always intimated. She has always been, and still is, worried sick about his responses to her actions. Only last week at a hospital visit, she said "norman would want me to do as Im told". The lady from the Alz Soc where mum goes to the day centre has rang me so many times to tell me of bruising that she has told me she is getting in touch with the soc servs herself. To cap it all yesterday, my aunty, my dads sister, who never rings me, rang to say mum and dad had spent the evening there on Saturday night and how badly my dad treated my mum. like dirt my aunty said. Both my aunt and uncle heard a slapping sound as dad was escorting mum to the loo and she was getting confused. Apparently, when mum came back and sat down, she did not speak another word, although she had been quite chatty before going in to the loo. My aunt also said she had noticed dried blood on the side of my mums head and when she asked my dad how it got there my dad said "don't touch it, I'll put cream on it tomorrow". My dad also apparently got very annoyed when mum had trouble getting into the taxi to go home. My aunt actually said, if he treats her like this when he's in company, what on earth goes on indoors and she also intimated that there is another side of him. He never smacked me as a child and as far as I know he has never hit mum, but now I am wondering. There are just too many things happening. I love him dearly. He would give me his last penny. He has never stopped mum spending money, going out, or doing what she wants. I would not call him a dominent man but I think it must all be gettnig too much for him and yet he still won't admit it I'm sure. I just wondered what the social services will do. I can't hide from them. Does anyone have any views or opinions? We haven't heard yet what is the first step with the soc servs. The alz soc lady is going to keep me posted.
Constantly covered in bruises
- Thread starter alison
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