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Confusion in mind, ok body.

Nov 8, 2020
I hope it's ok to start a thread for advice.

Mum will be 85 in January. Was sent to the memory clinic after I took her to the doctors after her confusion started.
Before that the last time she went to the doctors was in 1973. At the moment she can, dress, wash and feed herself.
Keeps the house clean. Even gardens occasionally.
But thinks my dad is at work (died in 2001) thinks all the DGC are at school (in their 30's)
doesn't remember that she has GGC. Lots of other things that are strange.
In the next week we at last will be getting a proper diagnosis of her condition.
Her mind is all over the place we have POA for health and finance.
We had to take control of her money as she was walking around town with £1000 in her purse
as she couldn't remember how much things cost.
There is my 2 brothers who live near her and me but i live a distance away.
Older brother does shopping, younger brother calls in on the way home from work, I phone every night
and try to visit every month, I also make sure her bills are all paid.

What else should I help her do to make life easier/safer.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hello @Onlydaughterbetweensons
a warm welcome to DTP
of course it's OK to start a thread to chat , that's what we're all here for, to help each other

your mum is fortunate to have you looking out for her ... you seem to be arranging things and working well with your brothers

I'd say keep talking with your siblings and letting your mum know you are there for her without taking over as long as she is OK ... and make the most of any time you get together

if your mum isn't upset by believing that her husband is at work, just let that be ... it sounds as though she slips back in time, to when she was much younger so couldn't have grandchildren ... one way to help her is by entering into her world rather than trying to pull her into yours, and at least responding with some neutral comment so she's not upset (though I appreciate this may mean you will feel upset at times, knowing how things actually are)

now you've joined us, keep posting


Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
Welcome from me too @Onlydaughterbetweensons Shedrech has already posted some good advice and you'll find that this is a friendly and supportive group. Here's a link to a 'Carers Guide' which you may find helpful as it contains all sorts of useful information relating to topics such as diagnosis, communication & care tips, planning ahead and practical issues such as benefits, care assessments etc but if you have any specific questions just ask away: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/2020-03/caring_for_a_person_with_dementia_600.pdf