Confused Mom refuses to see a doctor

AmandaMcl

New member
Jun 16, 2024
3
0
My boyfriends mom refuses all mention of going to the doctors. She's had what we call early onset dementia, it runs in her family. Her mom and one brother had it and both are deceased. She had a uti recently and mention of going to the doctors brought on a whole day of reassuring my bf that she feels better and she really doesn't need to go. The anxiety was palpable. They have not gotten her officially diagnosed because of her massive resistance to go to see a doctor. She can't cook or bathe or make tea or use a microwave without help. She's very aphasic and doesn't make sense often. She's mad that the world is going on without her as she is home all day alone. Getting a dx could mean access to resources . Any suggestions on how to get her to a doctor?
 

Kristo

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
137
0
Contact the doctor and tell them what you have told us - ask if they can invite her in for a well-woman check. Write or email the doctor so that they have a written record. Keep pushing, as you need to do what she needs, not what she wants. It’s hard, but she needs the diagnosis and support. Good luck x
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
7,342
0
Salford
Hello and welcome from me.
Just for clarity is this someone in the USA you're posting about? You don't have to answer but have/had an American mum half my family still live there and it does make a difference, even in the UK rules differ according to which bit they live in. K
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
2,011
0
Would she go, to reasure you all that she's that she's fine and you needn't worry?

Bod
 

AmandaMcl

New member
Jun 16, 2024
3
0
Hello and welcome from me.
Just for clarity is this someone in the USA you're posting about? You don't have to answer but have/had an American mum half my family still live there and it does make a difference, even in the UK rules differ according to which bit they live in. K
Yes I am in the USA
 

steph122

Registered User
Dec 29, 2021
22
0
northampton
My boyfriends mom refuses all mention of going to the doctors. She's had what we call early onset dementia, it runs in her family. Her mom and one brother had it and both are deceased. She had a uti recently and mention of going to the doctors brought on a whole day of reassuring my bf that she feels better and she really doesn't need to go. The anxiety was palpable. They have not gotten her officially diagnosed because of her massive resistance to go to see a doctor. She can't cook or bathe or make tea or use a microwave without help. She's very aphasic and doesn't make sense often. She's mad that the world is going on without her as she is home all day alone. Getting a dx could mean access to resources . Any suggestions on how to get her to a doctor?
Before going to the Doctors and getting a diagnosis, your boyfriends mum has capacity therefore even though her decisions appear unwise you will have to agree to her choices. Assuming you are unaware, your boyfriend's family need to have a discussion with their mum and find out what she wants to happen in the future and get power of attorney (POA) in place before it is deemed, she does not have capacity to make decisions. There are two POA, finance and health which are not free, do not use a solicitor, there are organizations who will help to compete these forms, but they are a lot cheaper. In my experience getting a diagnosis was difficult and apart from carers and attendance allowance, there is very little support available and it all has to be paid for.