Confused about early onset dementia

[plunderbunny]

Hi
I'm not sure if anybody will be able to help me but I don't know where else to look for advice.
I've recently found out that my mum (55 years old) has been struggling with her memory and doing simple calculations such as working out the difference between two times, eg. how long between 8:30 and 9:10.
I have found that during conversations she will completely forget she has already told me something and repeat the whole thing again.
There is no history of early onset dementia in her parents or grandparents, although her mum developed these same problems at about the age of 78.
She has been to the doctors and has been told it is due to stress and depression, but I don't see how these things could affect her memory and problem solving so severely. She hasn't talked to me about it but I got in touch with her partner as I was worried and he told me that the memory problems have been going on for about a year, but they only went to the doctors a couple of months ago due to her not being able to solve simple maths problems. I'm really worried and frightened.
I feel really selfish but I am also so worried that this may mean I have a good chance of developing early onset dementia too, to the point where I am having panic attacks every day and can't concentrate on anything else.
I can't seem to find much information on early onset dementia without family history, or even if it is possible to have early onset without a parent having it.
Sorry if it sounds really selfish. I'm just really frightened and don't know who to ask for help.

 

[stanleypj]

Hi plunderbunny, and welcome to TP.

I can understand your anxiety both about your mum and about your own chances of developing young onset dementia.

It's certainly not the case that young/early onset is necessarily hereditary and you have the experience of her own family to support this.

My wife was first referred to the memory clinic in 2000 when she was 51. She now has quite advanced Alzheimer's. Her daughters naturally had the same concerns as you and I was able to find some reassuring articles. I'll look them out and post them here.

In the meantime you may find these AS factsheet very informative:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=164

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/405

There's also this article:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=917

 

[marionq]

Well the first step is the one you mentioned about going to the doctors. They should do routine tests on blood etc to see if there is a physical reason for memory loss. Once that has been ruled out the next steps are memory clinic, brain scan possibly ECG then possibly medication to slow down the rate of memory loss.

Try not to jump ahead of yourself and panic your mother. Just get her to do what the docs ask of her for the moment.

 

[plunderbunny]

Thank you so much.
I know it is very early days, and I felt a bit silly and selfish posting on here as there has not even been a diagnosis yet and I'm already worrying about myself. But your kindness and replies are appreciated so much, and just knowing there is a support network and people to talk to has made me feel less apprehensive about the future, even if it turns out to be as I feared.
Thank you.

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Plunderbunny

Welcome to the forum and well done you for thinking of such a great name
I have 3 children in the same position as you their mother (my wife) was obviously not well from about 50 and was diagnosed at 55, I wondered about how my children felt so I asked them. Frankly they were all more concerned about the chances of things like cancer, road accidents and any number of things, I know at least 2 of them looked up the elevated risk of it happening to them and pretty much dismissed it as being something worth worrying about. If it is preying on your mind then as suggested visit your GP and see what help is available, the potential damage to your health from the worry will elevate your risk of both mental and physical health problems, please put this to the back of your mind and forget about it.
I come from a family where only 2 of the men made it to 65, 1 father, 5 uncles, 2 grandfathers so 6 died before 65, I'm one of 4 boys 2 of whom never made it to 50, am I worried, hell yes, do I let it bother me, no. If you start to think about things like risk too much you'll end up wasting the life you should be enjoying.
Life's too short to worry about what might happen, even at my age.
Take care
K

 

[john51]

Hi plunderbunny

I understand your worries and concerns both about your Mum and yourself.
I was diagnosed at 51, in April this year.
I echo everybody elses advice and comments about tests.I have no family history of dementia, but the cause for me seems to have been a series of 'silent events' in my brain. The fact that I have had these has caused vascular dementia, and I am told that it will not progress further without further events in my brain. They have however resulted in me retiring from a teaching career.
So I guess what I am saying is that dementia with no family history is possible, so you may not be at increased risk.
The things to do are to find out if your mum has dementia(I also went down the stress route to start with, and as a Maths and Science teacher found I could no longer manage the simplest of problems), but then in weighing up your own risks find out what sort of dementia is involved.
I would say, though, don't rush your mum into a diagnosis until she is ready to hear it. Daily I recall that black day when the doctor delivered the diagnosis and struggle with some very dark thoughts for a while.
Good luck with it all

Regards

John

Hi
I'm not sure if anybody will be able to help me but I don't know where else to look for advice.
I've recently found out that my mum (55 years old) has been struggling with her memory and doing simple calculations such as working out the difference between two times, eg. how long between 8:30 and 9:10.
I have found that during conversations she will completely forget she has already told me something and repeat the whole thing again.
There is no history of early onset dementia in her parents or grandparents, although her mum developed these same problems at about the age of 78.
She has been to the doctors and has been told it is due to stress and depression, but I don't see how these things could affect her memory and problem solving so severely. She hasn't talked to me about it but I got in touch with her partner as I was worried and he told me that the memory problems have been going on for about a year, but they only went to the doctors a couple of months ago due to her not being able to solve simple maths problems. I'm really worried and frightened.
I feel really selfish but I am also so worried that this may mean I have a good chance of developing early onset dementia too, to the point where I am having panic attacks every day and can't concentrate on anything else.
I can't seem to find much information on early onset dementia without family history, or even if it is possible to have early onset without a parent having it.
Sorry if it sounds really selfish. I'm just really frightened and don't know who to ask for help.

 

[stanleypj]

Hi plunderbunny. The link below will take you to one of the docs I referred to earlier:

http://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/siteFiles/resources/pdf/ARUK_Genes_and_Dementia_2014.pdf#search="genetic"

 

[plunderbunny]

Wow. Thank you everyone for your responses. I feel quite overwhelmed by how kind and helpful everyone has been. Your advice has been brilliant and I am coping much better now. I've decided after weeks of trying to get my mum to talk to me to let her do it in her own time, so as not to panic or worry her. She has agreed to go to the doctors tomorrow though so that's a good thing. It's nice to know there is support out there, so thank you everyone.
Thanks Kevinl for the compliment on the user name. You have a brilliant avatar! I am a big fan myself and am going to the Red Dwarf convention next year

 

[Rebirth4Love]

Dementia

we are sharing the same experience. I would like to share more with you. My son and I are starting a campaign to help others like you and myself regarding our Parents.

Hi
I'm not sure if anybody will be able to help me but I don't know where else to look for advice.
I've recently found out that my mum (55 years old) has been struggling with her memory and doing simple calculations such as working out the difference between two times, eg. how long between 8:30 and 9:10.
I have found that during conversations she will completely forget she has already told me something and repeat the whole thing again.
There is no history of early onset dementia in her parents or grandparents, although her mum developed these same problems at about the age of 78.
She has been to the doctors and has been told it is due to stress and depression, but I don't see how these things could affect her memory and problem solving so severely. She hasn't talked to me about it but I got in touch with her partner as I was worried and he told me that the memory problems have been going on for about a year, but they only went to the doctors a couple of months ago due to her not being able to solve simple maths problems. I'm really worried and frightened.
I feel really selfish but I am also so worried that this may mean I have a good chance of developing early onset dementia too, to the point where I am having panic attacks every day and can't concentrate on anything else.
I can't seem to find much information on early onset dementia without family history, or even if it is possible to have early onset without a parent having it.
Sorry if it sounds really selfish. I'm just really frightened and don't know who to ask for help.