For all the great praise I get from the loving family whom are never around, and the pats on the back and wonderful words from neighbours and strangers about what a sainted and worthwhile human being I apparantly am. Most mornings I wake and think, Dear God I can't face another day. I don't even want to. So much for the self help books and the fake smiles. Everyday my heart weeps buckets, sometimes I just want to run as far and as fast as I can. So there, that's the real me! I'm tired and irritated and sick of dementia world and I want out. God forgive me. I confess. Not such a great girl after all.