concerned for my dad

[T70tlj]

Hi
My dad has recently put his wife in a care home with dementia, since then he has completely lost track of day or night, loses his keys and phone, stopped eating resulting in massive weight loss. He has been in hospital with a lung infection, I raised my concerns to them and they said it was probably the illness and he hasn't been showing signs whilst in there. They must have noticed he don't shower. He's been ringing me at 5.30 in the morning. He's been discharged to my brothers temporary with a nurse calling daily to administer antibiotics. However last night my sister in law rang me to say my dad was exposing himself. This is totally not him he had a strict upbringing and has never said the word sex.i have learned recently he was talking sex to a one of my brothers female employees a few weeks ago. He has been the victim of scamming for several years and still doesn't see any wrong in it. However he can still manage money and drive. Please can someone advise what we do next, we feel the hospital just wanted him discharged.

 

[Oh Knickers]

Hi T7,

Oh dear, sorry, it sounds as though this has been a complete shocker for you. Inappropriate behaviour in someone who has always been inappropriate is just part of the pattern - sadly. Mother has always been inappropriate. She now has FTD (Fronto Temporal Dementia) which tends to loosen inhibitions. Well, whilst others are explaining it away as FTD she has ALWAYS been like that.

However, with someone like your dad it is completely out of character and that, therefore, is a shift change. Could I suggest you get guidance from the following organisations? I have found them pools of sanity and terrific for guidance and information. They should also be able to guide you as to the terms you need to use to get action and where to get that action. However, and this is the biggie, it sounds as though, whilst you dad is being uninhibited, he does still have a level of capacity which makes it tricky. Put in your dad's postcode and the local number will come up on Alzheimer's Society and Age UK.

Best of luck.

Alzheimer's Society
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

Age UK
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/

Admiral Nurse
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/

 

[Bunpoots]

Hello T7

My dad went thru a phase of inappropriate behaviour where he was chasing the cleaning lady round his house and cornering her for a kiss and a cuddle. Totally out of character as he was always the perfect gentleman before. I rang the Admiral nurses and the lady I spoke to was very helpful.

In dad's case it was his dementia meds that sent him off the rails but obviously this isn't the case with your dad as he hasn't been diagnosed.

My brother in law is a social worker for elderly and he tells me that illness and infection can make it appear that an elderly person has dementia when they don't and the confusion and strange behaviour improves once they are well again.