1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. poster

    poster Registered User

    Dec 28, 2011
    190
    Without saying too much because I do not wish to offend anyone on here but I am worried that my mum is following a cult religion which is not good for her. Do I leave her to get on with it or try and get her out? They are not doing anything bad but I just to not agree with their methods and teachings and she never agreed wit what they are about but because she is extremely lonely and wants a religion and has tried all the others, she thought she would try this as a last resort. I think she is being brainwashed and because she has dementia she is just going along with it.
     
  2. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,737
    North East Lincs
    Hi this sounds dreadful and I hope someone comes on soon who can offer sound advice to you. G L
     
  3. Aitchbee

    Aitchbee Registered User

    Nov 3, 2013
    87
    Would there be any point contacting the local C of E vicar to get their opinion on whether this is a cult? They might also be able to offer your Mum some social support? Just an idea. Difficult situation for you
     
  4. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    Can you speak to a person involved in the cult? Try to understand their way of thinking etc to see if they do have a hidden agenda, or can see they see that she is vulnerable.

    Maybe if this religion seeking is a new thing in her life, by that I mean the last ten years or so, she is now starting to think about what will happen when she does die etc, so basically she is concerned about her actually dying and not being seen as accepted by some religious group and therefore not accepted afterwards if you can understand that.

    I presume you have tried to discuss the religion thing with her, and wondered if she has mentioned her wanting to be accepted for this reason? Maybe just reassurance from someone will help her to understand she won't burn in hell etc just because she isn't part of a religious group may help.

    I would imagine it's a fixation for her at the moment and I hope another one, easier to deal with, may replace it after time.

    Ignore me if you think I'm spouting rubbish, but that's how I would see it. My own mother is in about wanting a full Catholic burial but hasn't been catholic for sixty years, so it does seem to pop into their heads at times.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,578
    Kent
    #5 Grannie G, Oct 11, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
    Hello poster

    I see from your previous posts your mother is in a care home. Can you ask the staff at the home to keep a close eye on her especially if you still live a fair distance away.

    Has your mother been shown to have capacity? If she no longer has capacity and you have LPA this cult can be prevented from influencing your mother.

    You do say no harm is being done , just you do not agree with their beliefs. This may not be enough to discontinue contact.

    If you are really concerned you could contact Action on Elder abuse.

     
  6. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,296
    SW London
    To be honest, if the 'cult' group is not trying to get money out of her, or trying to get her to change her will in their favour, or anything like that, I would leave it. Arguing with someone with dementia is usually pointless and may even be counter-productive in a case like this. If it's giving her any sort of comfort or interest, then that might be something in its favour.

    Is it the company she is enjoying? I well remember the very old 2nd husband of my granny positively welcoming Jehovah's Witnesses - he would ask them in for a cup of tea, and I'm sure it was just because he was naturally sociable and liked having someone to chat to.
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    How is the 'cult' meeting your Mum? Are they involved in visiting the Care Home?
     
  8. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    as long as "they" have no way of getting any money from her I would leave her to enjoy the company no matter what they talk about...
     
  9. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,714
    Female
    London
    Cults can be extremely dangerous and I should think as next of kin or attorney for health and welfare you can certainly try to ban them from visiting her. On the other hand I am not sure how much someone with dementia can be brainwashed? But I would certainly keep a very close eye and also ask the care home staff to do the same.
     

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