I am a new member and finding the site very helpful. I am an only child which is one of the most difficult things. My Dad cares for my mum, both in their late 70's. He finds it hard to accept she is not as she used to be. I am told this is quite common though. The problem I have and it is driving me round the bend is that he won't accept any help or advice and just deals with mum in the way he thinks best. Some of it good, some of it not so good. She goes to a day centre twice a week. He does everything for her, like bathing, washing her hair, helping her get dressed. He gets very stressed, which he denies, but I hear it in his voice and I don't blame him. I tell him that. He won't entertain even talking to social servs about help available as and when he feels he needs it. I arranged for a lady from the local Alz Soc to have a chat with him. He appears to take advice on board, then goes against it. He says things like "mum remembers more than she lets on". She humours him most of the time. He een asks her what she's had for lunch at the day centre. She can't even remember going. He says she looks forward to going. She doesn't even remember going once she's home. The biggest worry now though is the massive bruising she gets and no one seems to know how. The day centre rang me last week to say she had a black eye. Said my dad had done it, but not to worry, she hit him back! Whether thats true or not, she would not remember how it happened. The bruising has spread all down her back and arms. She is a real sight but says it doesn't hurt. My aunt told my dad to take her to the doctors, but he said she is fine. She has had bruises in funny places, on the side of her neck and on her t back and thighs. I know older people bruise easily but she is so bad at the moment, dad didn't want her going to the day centre. I don't think my dad is doing it, but I think he needs to accept help and advice before something major happens. We had to call an ambulance recently because something happened with a wire coat hanger when he was trying to get her blouse off it, and her ear was gushing blood. The house looked like a murder scene, blood spattered everywhere as dad had tried to stem the flow. We were in A and E twice that day as she kept pulling the dressing off. I know he will get frustrated but he says he doesn't. The house is filthy. He is partially sighted and thinks he cleans properly but he doesn't. Everyone notices. He won't let me do anything when I call and won't entertain the idea of having a woman I know who is used to elderly people even do a basic spring clean, let alone come weekly. I dread the phone ringing now in case something drastic has happened. He doesn't even accept that one day, he won't be able to cope. He is quite firm with her and in my opinion, talks to her too crossly. He won't go to a carers group as I have suggested. Mum is quite happy and still has a sense of humour, but it's just the physical things that are concerning me. I think maybe they should move into a bungalow, but he would poo poo that idea. I try to have a chat with her on the phone and he'll be in the back ground saying tell Alison this, tell Alison that, and I can hear him getting cross when she doesn't understnad what he's on about. I am rambling too now. So many problems. Like all of us and it wont get any better I know, Regards to all of you and any reply would be appreciated. Particularly from anyone else an only child