Complaints?

[Grannie G]

Dear Sheila

Please accept my sincere condolences on the death of your mother. I`m so sorry she wasn`t allowed a peaceful passing and can only imagine how painful it must have been for you.

Unavoidable pain is bad, but avoidable pain is unforgiveable.

Take care xx

 

[Margaret W]

Louise

I did need to complain to my mum's care home about her allegation that she had been "pushed to the ground" by a care worker. I have to say that the manager took the allegation very seriously. Mum was confused about when it occurred, she said a fortnight earlier, but we eventually concluded that it had been the previous night. She was able to name one of the care workers involved (there were two) and when asked for his report he immediately gave a description of the event which tied up exactly with the description given by the other care worker, and the manager contacted them both at the same time to avoid any possible collusion of stories. The incident HAD been recorded in the incident book, but the manager had not been made aware of it, a fact which she has now insisted that all staff should report in future. I did feel she investigated thoroughly, she is proud of her home, at no point did she insinuate that my mum might be wrong in her accusation.

I didn't put my complaint in writing, but I got a full reply in writing, and am happy with the outcome. The two staff were apparently trying to convince my mum to go back to bed at 1 a.m. and their physical guidance was a bit too strenuous it would seem. I am certain there was no malice intended. But they have now been advised that if it happens again (as it will) they are to let her stay up for an hour or so before persuading her to return to her bed.

Most care homes are careful to investigate complaints fully and document the outcomes. Do not feel that you should not complain. Give the management the opportunity to investigate, and then you have to weigh up the outcome. With my mum, I couldn't really have insisted that she was pushed to the floor deliberately, but the fact that it has been reported and investigated reassures me that it will not happen again (if indeed it did in the first place).

Be brave. You have to do what you need to do.

Love

Margaret

 

[Margaret W]

I now realise that I have missed the plot on your postings. I only read the first one and pitched in.

I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. There is little excuse for bed sores to develop, but once they have I believe they are incredibly difficult to cure. My mum has a fungal infection between her buttocks, we have no idea how it developed, but four months on we are still trying to cure it.

The situation where residents were up and dressed at an ungodly hour would suit my mother down to the ground - she thinks that 2 a.m. is dinner time. She dresses herself, and the staff wish she wouldn't, so I can't comment about your home doing that. One wonders why they want them up so early? Surely it is more work for them?

Eeh, it is hard going folks.

Margaret

 

[noelphobic]

The situation where residents were up and dressed at an ungodly hour would suit my mother down to the ground - she thinks that 2 a.m. is dinner time. She dresses herself, and the staff wish she wouldn't, so I can't comment about your home doing that. One wonders why they want them up so early? Surely it is more work for them?
Margaret

They wanted them up so early because it meant the night staff could get them dressed and there was therefore less for the day staff to do when they came on duty! It was very definitely for the convenience of the staff and not the residents!

 

[Lonestray]

Been there

Louise, I was so very mad reading your post dated the 2nd at 6.30PM. I could have written the same words five and a half years ago about my wife in a NH. The air mattress was flat and yes her foot was bleeding. Today there's a scar on her foot to remind me.

I'm so sorry for what your going through. From what I read on TP it seems to me that so many carers go through the swing doors I've been through. When will they ever learn? I know it's too late for me after 12 years, because I've long since given up. My way is working for me and with the grace of God, I'll have my wife for more years to come. Sorry I can't be of any use to you but I'll say a prayer for both you and your Mom. I'll sign off now as I'm of little use on this site. Padraig

 

[Louise.D]

I believe that dementia suffers should be allowed and encouraged to do what they want to do, whenever they want to do it. If they want to watch TV through the night and have a wander around then they should be allowed to. It may not suit the care home staff but then that's tough. There is a lady in my mothers care home who used to be a nurse and worked nights for the whole of her working life. She wanders at night checking up on her friends. If it does not bother the other residents then I believe that this should be permitted. Whatever pleases and makes the resident happy providing that it does not upset or harm others.

Sheila I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. Your experience like what's happening to my mother is terrible. It should not of happened. There are so many stores of neglect and still nothing is done. It's not acceptable. Padraig thanks for your kind words.

Today, I know the home were on the look out for me as the care manager quickly ran into my mothers room ahead of me to check before I got there. (This shows what confidence she has with her staff) I know they have labelled me as the 'unreasonable daughter'. I just want my mother to be cared for and for the home to look after her properly, she's not got long and what time she has got should be comfortable.

I have a meeting next week with the home director and I'll let you know that outcome. Today I did notice a POVA document in mums room and it looked like some sort of log. Don't know what all that's about but I'm sure going to find out.

 

[Louise.D]

Should I complain

I would like your opinions please!!!

My aunt and brother went to see mum yesterday at the residential home and phoned me this morning to say that something was wrong with her mouth.

At 9.00 I jumped into the car, dashed over and did a full inspection. The teeth were clean but she has oral thursh (much worse that what I've seen on Google) She must of had this for ages and ages. The home were oblivious to this and agreed to send for the doctor today.

I would of thought that the care home would of noticed this, not a relative. A she pouches her food I would expect them to 'maintain her oral hygeine'. Surely this is part of general demetia care. My aunt only noticed this as she fed her a bananna, as soon as she opened her moth it was dead obvious. I did not notice earlier as I do not feed her and usually she clamps her mouth shut and grinds her teeth.

I know that oral infections are not unusual but to let it get to this state unawares to me in neglect.

Any comments/advise?

 

[suptowngirl]

Hi Louise,
I feel you are doing right by checking on everything.
My mom had oral thrush when she was in the home and it was us (family) who pointed it out. We also said we thought mom had a water infection but the nurse on duty spoke to me and said she hadn't so she was left without medication. We have to put our trust in the carers and nurses so most of the time we take their word and think they know best.
On my moms death certificate it states Septicemia, caused by the bed sore and "urinary tract infection", so we should not have listened to them at all but asked for a second opinion. I know it's too late for my mom now but to think of how she suffered before she passed is so painful.
She took great care of us all our lives and we let her down by trusting that others could take care of her better than us. Oh how I wish......... but we're too late.
Your not.....

Take care of your mom, she deserves the best.
Sheila