Recommended thread Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    276
    A lot of this I think my family does naturally, I think I wouldn't want to pretend that a family member wasn't who they were though but I guess we'll see when it comes to it xx
     
  2. rjm

    rjm Registered User

    Jun 19, 2012
    744
    Ontario, Canada
    I have just come across this, it is wonderful! It covers so much of what I have learned through trial and error but I have never seen it written so clearly before. Wouldn't it be great if doctors could pass this on when they first give a diagnosis.
     
  3. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    It should have a 'sticky'
     
  4. rjm

    rjm Registered User

    Jun 19, 2012
    744
    Ontario, Canada
    Agree! I do know it is in the Resource section but that takes a bit of digging to find it and doesn't really highlight its importance.
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,437
  6. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Hi
    I tend to give a link to this thread to those that I think it might be helped by it
    Ive added tag clouds too, trouble is new people would'nt know about them
     
  7. Girl Afraid

    Girl Afraid Registered User

    Aug 16, 2012
    20
    Staffordshire
    Hi Lin and thank you for the link to this, really helpful. Im replying so its bumps back up in the post thing if that helps,just read your last few replys as to this thread been stickied so thought a bump would help any other newbies like me. Thanks again.
    xxx
     
  8. NanLorac

    NanLorac Registered User

    May 14, 2012
    686
    Female
    Scotland
    Found this by chance I am going to print it off and keep it.
    I made the mistake of saying after dinner do you remember something that had happened a few months ago and I was laughing and he just looked at me with a blank expression and said no.
    I am new to this and I gave him a big hug and said I need to stop saying that to you I'm sorry. I have a lot to learn and this forum is helping me get there.
     
  9. carole robson

    carole robson Registered User

    Oct 2, 2012
    53
    newcastle on tyne
    WOW this is just what i needed. thanking you:)
     
  10. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Thought I would give this a bump up to the top
     
  11. SisterAct

    SisterAct Registered User

    Know how you feel Lisa. It was hard at first as it is out of your comfort zone especially when some of the people are dead :eek: but it does make life easier even though you feel a bit silly at times.
    My sister and I are so many people now to Dad that I think we should be nominated for an Oscar.:D
    Polly x
     
  12. small

    small Registered User

    Jul 6, 2010
    110
    harrow
    compassionate communications

    Hi all, haven't been on here for ages (the usual reasons,health, time, inability to get personal time etc) but I'm glad I refound this link again. Its such a help at times like this.

    Its funny we do need reminding of this - or I do, especially now. I'm back in bed recuperating from my third attempt at a prolapse repair, and yet again John is uppermost on my time, energy, priorities etc etc etc.
    He is so self absorbed and unashamedly demanding and self centred that it's driving my daughter nuts. She has flown over from America and left her small son at home to look after us, but I'm having to get between them all the time to keep the peace. I have explained and had forewarned her about her dad, but his difficult behaviour is fairly constant as he tries to ensure he is at the top of the pecking order. When peace breaks out I slip up to bed to try & rest. But he just tries his darnedest to try and join me to start all over again.

    I realised, re reading this link, that he's extra afraid because i'm unwell and unable to keep to his routine of being the total centre of my universe and care. And he's desperate for me all the time. I shall try showing this link to my daughter but I dont think she feels very receptive just now!!!!

    Love to all and bless this site and all its members


    Jackie
     
  13. Tolkny

    Tolkny Registered User

    Feb 16, 2009
    141
    East of England
    Commiserations and blessings I hope Jackie finds a way of sharing her feelings with her daughter - poor communication with my children is one of my great failings.
     
  14. Mollycolly

    Mollycolly Registered User

    Dec 20, 2012
    9
    Lancashire
    Bumping this so that new members get a chance to read this most important post.

    I started to put Compassionate Communication into practice the day after I had read it - as did my brother and daughter - and we were amazed at the IMMEDIATE difference it made to our relationship with Mum.

    Yes, it is hard to remember to do it all the time and yes, we get frustrated and grumpy and fed up so we read it again, and again, and again and just keep on trying. It's all we can do, after all, is try.

    I can also recommend 'Contented Dementia' which gives such an insight into what is going on in the mind of the person with dementia.

    Molly
     
  15. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,585
    #195 garnuft, Feb 28, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2013
  16. Mollycolly

    Mollycolly Registered User

    Dec 20, 2012
    9
    Lancashire
    Thanks garnuft - I have ordered it from my library. I'll let you know what I think. :)
     
  17. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Excellent

    Just read this thread for the first time! Its excellent.

    Best wishes everyone,

    Reds
     
  18. end of my rope

    end of my rope Registered User

    Feb 22, 2013
    146
    Specal

    i did read the book on SPECAL - contented dementia I think it was called?
    It didn't work for mum and me - I couldn't find a hobby interest or indeed anything that she would connect with without anger and aggression.
    This evening I am reeling from the horror of my mother's degeneration. She is now in a state of mind where she hates me, has expressed her disgust in me and said that she never wants to see me again.
    I can continue supporting her from the sidelines, doing as much as I can for her, acting as her medical advocate and ensuring she has money and clean clothing etc. What I am really struggling to cope with is that she will probably die believing her delusion that I didn't love her and refused to speak to her when she was in hospital.
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,709
    Kent
    Hold tight . It will pass.
     
  20. rjm

    rjm Registered User

    Jun 19, 2012
    744
    Ontario, Canada
    You have probably heard this before, but it's not her, it's the disease - The knowledge of your lifelong love is still in there and will be with her always.
     

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