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Compassionate Communication and Meds Review


Registered User
Feb 4, 2019
Hello everyone,

I haven’t posted for a while but I have two issues at the moment really which I am wondering if you can please advise on ....

My lovely mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s with Lewy Bodies a couple of years ago. She lives with my Dad who is her main carer. Things are very strained at the moment as she is having daily hallucinations which causes tension and stress between them. My dad is not coping very well. Bless him. My mum is on Respiridone but it has had no affect on controlling her hallucinations and I have just requested an urgent meds review with the memory clinic. Does anyone have any advice on an alternative meds for helping to control hallucinations? Mum often accuses dad of having lady friends/people in the house and their children who he does not introduce her to and ‘play havoc with her belongings‘. She lines up chairs in her bedroom for them to sit on and covers her belongings up. Sometimes she doesn‘t want to go downstairs if she thinks the house is ‘full of dad’s friends’. Or can burst into my dad’s bedroom (they have separate rooms) early in the morning because she thinks Dad is entertaining a lady friend in there, banging doors and waking him up with a shock which sets the mood for the entire day. Any advice on this?

Secondly we have been lucky enough to have been loaned an Alexa by a dementia charity so that I can make video calls to my parents. This is a source of pleasure and stress in equal measure! My dad isn’t very tolerant of my mum not really understanding the technology and barks at her as to where to sit so that she can see the screen, what to say (using very open ended statements) and generally takes over the call to the extent that I now call my mum in the morning to have a chat and do a video call with the both of them in the evening. I cringe sometimes at how my dad behaves towards my mum and have to steel myself to make the video calls now. It seems like compassionate communication has gone out of the window at the moment but I have to be careful what I say as I know my dad is under a great deal of stress and isn’t in the best of health himself at the moment. He doesn’t take kindly to any criticism. I know he is doing his best in difficult circumstances at the moment. He is 81 and mum is 79. I see them once per week when I take them their weekly shopping.

Thanks in advance for any tips and advice xx


Registered User
Oct 5, 2018
i am sorry I cant offer any tips re meds. My mum has been on Respiradone and initially it did seem to control her paranoia and occasional hallucinations. But she has declined so much recently and got so anxious and agitated that the GP has said that medicine wont really help any more apart from sedation.

As for a somewhat stressed relationship between your dad and mum, I think living 24/7 with a dementia sufferer must be exhausting. My mum has had a live in carer who is an angel and put up with so much. There are sometimes situations that to be honest you may not be able to do much about. it may also be that the new technology of the Alexa screen could be stressful in itself to your mum and she actually prefers the normal phone. I wish you all the best.

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