communication

[elaineo2]

hi alfjess,yes i have boxer and you are quite welcome too him,he is bloody crazy being a year old.
Sorry darlin but i can see no way to stop the undressing.wether it's inside out,back to front .i experience this all the time at work and no matter what we try to do,it doesn't stop them.inhibitions go by the way side with dementia at times.perhaps this is the stage you are at with mum?don't shout,don't loose you rag,pretend its okay and try to persuade otherwise.failing that,theres no harm in their way of thinking.
love elainex

 

[alfjess]

Hi Elaine

I just keep trying to think if there is something that would be more difficult to remove. As in a jacket that zips up the back?

It's not as if Mum tries to remove her clothes occasionally. It is constantly.

If she was at home and she wanted to walk about topless, it wouldn't be a problem, but as she is in a hospital ward, then it is definately a problem.

Thing is, Mum was such a prude. This is a complete turn around of personality and I also worry why?? Is there a reason, she wants to disrobe?? Is she uncomfortable??

Bet you wouldn't part with your dog, crazy as he is. He is still a baby. Will you have him neutered, that somestimes helps calm down a hyper dog?

Love
Alfjess

 

[Grannie G]

, Mum was such a prude. Alfjess

My mother was too Alfjess, and she would answer the front door, wearing only a pyjama top. Prior to dementia, I`d never seen my mother undressed.

 

[elaineo2]

Hi Alfjess,are you sure i can't tempt you with a boxer!!!!!!!!!he will make sure your minds on him thats a fact,crazy ****** that he is.anyway,i was talking to a consultant through work today about a resident of ours who like your mum has no qualms about undressing in public.in fact this resident tries to walk about naked.the consultant(who is also a psychologist)has the view that elderley people who are suffering from cognitive impairment sometimes go back to a stage in their younger life wherby they were children and were not inhibited at all.tin baths in front of the fire,first up best dressed era as he said.it is apparentley another stage of A/Z,Dementia.however dependent on the persons childhood memories,it may not happen to all sufferers.Their memories of happy times are expressed in many ways from what i was told by the consultant today,inhibitions through the window being the major one.
It may not help you at this time,but an insight as to why? may do.
love elainex

 

[alfjess]

Hi

Thanks all for your support and no, Elaine at the moment, you can't tempt me to look after a crazy boxer.

Anyway, I met the CPN in hospital to-day and she suggested maybe, a blouse/top with buttons up the back. Remember them? GOOD IDEA I thought.

I went to town, could I find a top that fastens in the back?? Could I heck! I even tried charity shops, but no luck.
So if anyone can tell me where I can purchase such an item, I would be very grateful.

I told the CPN that I had put Mum's cardi on back to front the other day when the pink zoot suit was in the wash and questioned the fact that there was only one such suit available in the ward. She agreed that it was terrible about the ward only having one suit, but again she said it came down to funding!!

She also said that the staff were not allowed to put clothes on back to front as that would be restraint! What is the one and only pink suit, if it is not restraining Mum from removing her clothes?

I am not getting at the staff. Just the logic and of course the funding.

I have asked her to enquire about purchasing a couple more suits in a small size for Mum for which I will pay.

I know it is not nice to see Mum wearing the suits, but it would be a lot less nice for her to be naked and at least if I buy them, I can hopefully get them in her size.

Cpn also told me they have been through the whole spectrum of medication with Mum and nothing has worked, as a last resort they are going to try Ebixa.
I asked for this 3 years ago for Mum and it was refused. I feel this should have been tried first, not last, before all the benzodiazapines and anti-psychotics.

Is it me? Or has the world gone mad.

Alfjess

 

[jenniferpa]

I'm not quite sure how this would work http://www.theindependencestore.co....d=656&osCsid=65d9f8756c711cd5f8dd569329b9cf6f
or this http://www.theindependencestore.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=647

P.S. If you google "inappropriate undresser" you'll find several suppliers of the above 2 items.

 

[alfjess]

Hi Jennifer

You are wonderful, just what I was looking for.

I have ordered one of the trousers and top look alike outfits.

If this works, I now know where to order some more.

Will let you know if it does the job.

Thank you very much
Alfjess

 

[jenniferpa]

I hope they work out for you - I was surprised that there was so little choice. I found a US company (buckandbuck.com) with a wider selection but I don't think they ship internationally.

To be honest I thought - there's a business opportunity for someone in the UK.

 

[alfjess]

Hi Jennifer

Definately a business opportunity.

What I thought that if the suit I have ordered worked, I could find a dressmaker and have a few more made in Mum's favourite colours.

I spoke to the staff nurse on Mum's ward to-day and told her about ordering the new suit.

She said if it works for Mum then maybe a case can be made for funding to buy male/female suits for the ward. The one and only suit was purloined from another hospital (actually she admitted to borrowing 4) but 3 has gone AWOL in the laundry, now they launder the one and only in the ward.

I guess my Mum is trialing the suit.

Well done Jennifer.

You maybe the instigator of designer zoot suits for the NHS.

I believe these suits should be an aid that Psychiatrict wards should have having experienced Mum's behaviour, but it would be nice if they looked more like normal clothes

Will let you know if it works

Thanks again
Alfjess

 

[merlin]

Alfjess

You will probably miss this reply as it is too late due to my infrequent use of the forum. From bitter experience I now have better knowledge of the effect of Haliperidol. It would seem the the hunched forward or sideways is symptomanic of what I believe is called the Parkinsonian side effects. It can be counteracted by another drug which in my wife's case seems to work with no other side effects. Problem is I have forgotten the name of it but will find out this afternoon when I visit and let you know.

We went through all the other drugs you mention as well and finally had to go back to the dreaded Haliperidol. Combined with this other one my wife is now more or less stable.

Be in touch

Merlin

 

[merlin]

Alfjess

Further to my last message a second ago, just remembered the medication it is called Procyclidine. If the docs are not too arrogant ask them to give it a try

Merlin

 

[alfjess]

Hi Merlin

Your post has been very helpful.

I have a meeting tomoroow with the consultant and with your inmput I can now put a name to the side effects "parkinsonian" which I will goggle later. thanks.

Thank you also for the name of the other drug which I think you said counteracts the side effects.

I will certainly be asking questions tomorrow, nicely, and the more we know the more they can't B------- us

thanks again
Alfjess

 

[alfjess]

Hi Jennifer

The suit arrived this morning. I was impressed with the fast delivery.

I took it to hospital this afternoon. It was a tremendous success. I asked staff to try it on Mum for fit and they were very impressed and quite excited. All the staff came to look at Mum "modelling" the suit and all approved. Much more dignified was their opinion. Where did you get it? Can we we get them for males? What is the web site?

The web site address was on the packaging. Immediately they went to the office computer and they say they have ordered male/female suits for the ward and advised me that I should try to claim the money for Mum's new suit from NHS.

I thanked them for the advise but said if Mum moves on from the ward then the suit will go with her and I will order a few more for her use only.

It is still to be proved that she cannot get it off.

Thank you again Jennifer and if it works out thanks from ward 3 staff at Wishaw General Hospital, Lanarkshire

Alfjess

 

[jenniferpa]

Excellent news Alfjess - I'm really pleased. Good to know that they delivered fast as well.

Mind you - it's a touch mind boggling that it took your intervention on your mother's behalf for them to recognize that there might be options other than the "zoot suit".

 

[alfjess]

Hi

Yes I thought that as well Jennifer. You would think NHS should have it's own supplier.

Update on to-days meeting

I thought to-day's meeting would be to discuss Mum's meds and future care. I went prepared to make a case for one facility over the other.

Instead, the consultant told me that Mum doesn't have long to live. I know she is frail, but she is still mobile. I thought we would have the immobility and bedridden stage to get through before we reached end of life.

We did discuss meds, but it was to discontinue all medication, including heart meds etc and up the pain relief to keep her comfortable. This was with my consent, after I got over the shock. From now on it will only be pallitive care.

At the meeting I did agree to her being moved to a continuing care home. Driving home I started to have second thoughts. Why move her now?

I have tried to contact the CPN to discuss "to move or not to move."

Like Mameskye, I also want to know, how long is a piece of string, so that I could make the correct decision.
Alfjess

 

[jenniferpa]

Such a difficult question. However, I do wonder - would her care be better in a continuing care home? Because without being unduly optimistic about this, I wouldn't be shocked if better care might translate to longer life. That might be a good or bad thing, I suppose, depending on her level of distress. This must have been such a shock for you. I suppose they have their reasons to make such an assessment - I just hope they explained them adequately to you.

 

[Nell]

Dear Alfjess,
This must have been so hard to hear. No advice or suggestions, just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and my wishes for the best possible outcome under the circumstances are winging their way to you.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Alfjess.

I am so sorry. I can only imagine your state of distress.

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Dear alfjess, what a shock for you! I'm so sorry.

I guess the 'move or not move' question really depends on the length of the string, and I doubt if anyone would be able to tell you that. Such a difficult decision for you.

Thoughts and prayers with you, love. Take care,

 

[BeckyJan]

Dear Alfjess:
I have just read your post about your Mother. I am so so sorry - words cannot comfort you really but just wanted you to know my thoughts are with you and your Mum.
Take care Jan