After 10 years, my Dad is coming to the end of his journey with Alzheimer’s.
He is now being nursed in bed, only having sips of water and hasnt eaten for a few days. We had a phone call yesterday to say his breathing had changed but he remains comfortable . I guess no one knows when the end will be but it’s heartbreaking. We have stayed for 2 days by his side and do not want to leave him but I have a young family and being the only child, I’m finding things very difficult . I’m not really asking for advice , just wanted to explain how I feel . Thank you for reading x
This is always challenging. A culmination of all that has gone before, termed 'end stage Alzheimer's', which leaves you very open to every emotion under the sun, bearing down upon you all at the same time. My circumstances were different. A son, living with his mother, as carer and guardian, after the father died. Twelve years. Then, Alzheimer's and all that the disease demands of you. Finally, 'end stage'. One month, in a side room in hospital. Me sleeping alongside my mother in a reclining 'chair' . One month in which she refused both food and drink. One month, every single day, tending to her, comforting her during 'procedures'. In all that time, a profound sense of worth, for all the right reasons. No uncomfortable thoughts nor regrets, no 'gaps' in the cycle of care. The long and at times, exceedingly demanding role of Carer, now drawing to its close. So yes, one understands just why you wished to explain how you feel. And you have a young family (I did not) which compounds things, as they need you. And you are an 'only child', which also engenders very special feelings in respect of your childhood and upbringing with a mother and father. My mother - an only child - often explained just what that meant to her, having no siblings. Her father was a great 'friend' besides being a wonderful father. The one overriding factor in all of this and it
remains an absolute truth, is that the moments in a life which are joyous, the times spent with a parent when you laugh or at times cry, when you feel their love and affection enveloping you when you are unhappy, or sickly, that very special 'bond' which is unique between you and which stays with you always - none of that can ever die. Nothing can change it, nothing can threaten it. Ever. So, at this time and with all its seemingly unbearable elements which surround you ,try and let that act as a buttress against the overwhelming actuality of things now. With warmest wishes.
