Hi, I am new to the forum. I have so much to say i don’t know where to start. I live in France and mum was with me for many years with my Dad until he died in 2018. Its been pretty downhill for mum since then. After heart surgery, a fall, a mini stroke. She was diagnosed with Vascular dementia last October 2021. Prior to that things had been quite difficult, her walking was bad, her memory with little things wasn’t great. She seemed to have lack of interest in going out and doing normal things.
It hit a peak before her diagnosis in August 2021, she had 3 falls in one day and hadn’t made the toilet. It was so stressful for mum and me, she ended up in hospital and they told me then she had dementia and needed a formal diagnosis. She came home with various things in place a hospital bed, commode And she was downstairs. I had managed to get some care help as well. We were managing just about but mum’s memory was getting worse as was her walking. She was confused about using her mobile phone, TV remote and she would always be asking me about her numbers, when she could get it working she would ring me constantly. She was often distressed and if i went out for more than an hour she would be crying asking where i was. Sometimes when i went in the mornings she would either be on the floor or she had half got dressed and was crying where had i been.
Eventually after a lot of incidents and mum barely being able to walk at all, she went in a home in France for a few weeks. That was dreadful, mum doesn’t speak French and she was extremely distressed. I won’t go into the long boring story but i somehow managed to get mum to England in May this year. We had discussed together that i could not keep doing everything for her, i do have a family as well, she often couldn’t make the toilet, she was just stuck in a chair or the bed watching TV. Mum is not that old either, she is 76 and now in a care home in the UK, the home is really nice and the staff seem to be lovely.
Mum however is not happy as all. Since she has been there bizarely she has kind of improved, well at least she can now walk with a zimmer frame again, when i talk to her on the phone she sounds almost well normal! She thinks the other people in the home are crazy with dementia and she says its driving her mad. I am obviously very happy she has improved in some ways. How, i don’t know.. Can anyone advise me please? Is it the stimulation and meeting new people, she was a virtual hermit here. People talking in English. Her short term memory is not good and she can barely remember all the bad things that happened here.
Everyone tells me i did the right thing and they reckon she would regress to the way she was here very quickly with me doing everything again. I was mums virtual slave.
I do however miss her, and i know she is lonely and finding the adjustment so hard.
She is obviously fairly early on with the Dementia diagnosis. I just have terrible guilt all the time.
She has had a few of her old friends visit,
Thanks for reading.
It hit a peak before her diagnosis in August 2021, she had 3 falls in one day and hadn’t made the toilet. It was so stressful for mum and me, she ended up in hospital and they told me then she had dementia and needed a formal diagnosis. She came home with various things in place a hospital bed, commode And she was downstairs. I had managed to get some care help as well. We were managing just about but mum’s memory was getting worse as was her walking. She was confused about using her mobile phone, TV remote and she would always be asking me about her numbers, when she could get it working she would ring me constantly. She was often distressed and if i went out for more than an hour she would be crying asking where i was. Sometimes when i went in the mornings she would either be on the floor or she had half got dressed and was crying where had i been.
Eventually after a lot of incidents and mum barely being able to walk at all, she went in a home in France for a few weeks. That was dreadful, mum doesn’t speak French and she was extremely distressed. I won’t go into the long boring story but i somehow managed to get mum to England in May this year. We had discussed together that i could not keep doing everything for her, i do have a family as well, she often couldn’t make the toilet, she was just stuck in a chair or the bed watching TV. Mum is not that old either, she is 76 and now in a care home in the UK, the home is really nice and the staff seem to be lovely.
Mum however is not happy as all. Since she has been there bizarely she has kind of improved, well at least she can now walk with a zimmer frame again, when i talk to her on the phone she sounds almost well normal! She thinks the other people in the home are crazy with dementia and she says its driving her mad. I am obviously very happy she has improved in some ways. How, i don’t know.. Can anyone advise me please? Is it the stimulation and meeting new people, she was a virtual hermit here. People talking in English. Her short term memory is not good and she can barely remember all the bad things that happened here.
Everyone tells me i did the right thing and they reckon she would regress to the way she was here very quickly with me doing everything again. I was mums virtual slave.
I do however miss her, and i know she is lonely and finding the adjustment so hard.
She is obviously fairly early on with the Dementia diagnosis. I just have terrible guilt all the time.
She has had a few of her old friends visit,
Thanks for reading.