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Coming to terms with being a carer

Sarn48

New member
Jan 14, 2022
4
0
Kent
My husband has dementia, was confirmed last December, but was evident long before.
John has been my soul mate for over thirty years, and during that time he cared for me, I have my own mental problems.
We talked about everything, worked together, we were a team, never apart.
But now I feel everyday he is slipping away from me, I am losing the person who was my rock. We have no family and have always been insular. I sleep badly, I am responsible for everything, I worry about the future and if what I am doing is right for John. I miss being able to share my concerns with him, because as soon as I have said it, he has forgotten, so there is no point. Every day I feel him slipping away, and I miss him. Our relationship has changed. I love him dearly and want to do the best for him, I love him so much.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,501
0
South coast
Hello @Sarn48 and welcome to Talking Point.

I think that the loss of companionship and the change in personality and the relationship is harder to deal with than any physical problems. Unfortunately, it is something that we all have to come to terms with and Im not sure that there are any short-cuts. We can certainly advise you and/or reassure you that what you are doing is right, although it is not the same.
xxx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,083
0
Kent
Hello @Sarn48

It is difficult enough to come to terms with a dear husband`s dementia without the mental health issues you have yourself. All I can suggest is you ask for as much help as is available for both of you.

Help won`t better the change in your relationship but it might take some of the pressure from you and give you both some better quality time together.

Please continue to post here and take the support Dementia Talking Point can offer. It might help you feel less isolated.
 

Sarn48

New member
Jan 14, 2022
4
0
Kent
Hello @Sarn48

It is difficult enough to come to terms with a dear husband`s dementia without the mental health issues you have yourself. All I can suggest is you ask for as much help as is available for both of you.

Help won`t better the change in your relationship but it might take some of the pressure from you and give you both some better quality time together.

Please continue to post here and take the support Dementia Talking Point can offer. It might help you feel less isolated.
Thank you Granny G.
It is very difficult to ask for help when we have always done things together.
I will be here and hopefully pick up some tips.
 

T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
110
0
@Sarn48 so sorry for what is happening, we are here please do pop messages on. It is hard, but he has the very best person with him, someone who has known and loved him so long. Your grief is understandable and will not be easy but perhaps some friends, or carer support can help a little on your way.
 

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