clothes not mams don't know what to say

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by mage, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. mage

    mage Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    Mam keeps saying the clothes she is wareing are not her's then goes through her
    Wardrobe and drawers nothing is her's.its every day if not twice a day. I tell her they
    Are her's but haven't worn them for a long time, but it all starts again. Any suggestions
    How to handle this situation.
  2. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    When I sort through my mum's clothes, she sometimes says they are not hers. In the NH where she is, the residents all have a room number. My mum is in room 40, so all her clothes have to be marked with that number. She did have some that she didn't recognise, so I just showed her the number on the label & told that was her room number. Then she was happy that it was hers.

    Is your mum in a nursing home? If she is, this hopefully would work for her. If she's living at home, could you limit her to several different outfits, that she would get used to seeing. Then maybe let her just wear those each week.

  3. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    My husband's grandmother used to say this. She would ring me up and complain that some thieving beggar had taken all her lovely things and replaced them with "this old tat". I just used to go along with it. She strongly suspected that one of her daughters in law was the culprit and used to want to call the police, so I used to tell her not to worry and that my husband would sort it out - and that would calm her for a while.
  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    What about saying you've brought the clothes over for her?
  5. Anniebell

    Anniebell Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    Hi Mage have the same problem with mum but she keeps packing all her clothes nothing in her wardrobe or drawers !!! Used to help her unpack and put them back as soon as I left all back in bags suitcase stuff rammed in handbags she says the clothes are not hers she says "I would never wear anything like that "I've given up unpacking them now and when she tells me there not mine I just tell her to leave them and I'll sort them when I come over .The doc came to see her Monday to put her on Meds for AD she was in bed when I got there she came in the lounge in a nightie and a Lacey shawl mum would never have come into a room dressed like that especially in front of men (my hubby and the doc) I suspect it was because she couldn't find anything to wear !!!!! She's taken to throwing things away now so I'm thinking all these clothes will end up in the bin one day sorry for going on a bit I hav'nt got a solution to this sorry but will keep an on this post in case anyone comes up with one good luck and take care Annie xx
  6. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    My mum has a deep rooted obsession with clothes, hers and other peoples. When she first came to live with me she would pack every day and I would spend the night unpacking. I would find her clothes all over the house, coats rammed into chest of drawers and then she would raid my wardrobe. If she sees someone wearing an outfit she likes, she offers to buy it from them!!! She crams knickers into her small handbag, every coat pocket has an article of clothing in it. All of this activity with her clothes and I can only get her to wear one or two outfits and as soon as these outfits are washed and dried she wants to put them back on top of what she is already wearing, we often go out with mum wearing two pairs of trousers, tights etc. A couple of months ago I started boxing up clothes she no longer wears, especially from the chest of drawers, we need the space so she can cram more stuff in it!
  7. mage

    mage Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015

    Hi I've started to take away things she hasn't worn for a long time, yes she is in her own
    home and lives alone,yesterday teatime she had all her bags and shoes out (not mine).
    She is hearing music and seeing people
  8. mage

    mage Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    Thanks for posts it's good to have someone to talk to (well you know what I mean ha!!
  9. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    I had iron on name tags made for John's clothes before he starts day centre. Would putting on name tags help with theses ladies? You could get them to choose the clothes they like and help iron their names on then just quietly remove the rest.
  10. elizabet

    elizabet Registered User

    Mar 26, 2013
    Although they were her own clothes in the wardrobe of the care home my mum kept insisting they were not her clothes but belonged to the lady who had been in the room earlier. She insisted on wearing the same few dresses. Even when I bought her some new skirts and jumpers she would not wear them as "they weren't hers. Sadly it was the early dementia robbing her of her short term memory. At the beginning I would argue with her as I was ignorant of how dementia worked on a person but with knowledge I would just go along and take each day as it came.
    Every sympathy to you all as carers -it is so hard and no one knows how it feels unless they have been through caring for a relative with dementia themselves.
  11. 1966

    1966 Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    Oh my, going through this tonight, good to read everyone's posts on here

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