1. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Thanks for posting the link - found the article interesting.
     
  3. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    Hi Connie

    To be honest, I've only just read it properly myself and have found it quite moving. I was in a bit of a hurry this morning so only had a brief look and posted the link.

    I would be interested to know why they chose to put their mum in a care home, rather than organise care at home, given the fact that I cannot imagine costs were an issue.

    My sister told me about someone she knew whose father was very ill with dementia and other problems. They kept him at home with carers coming in around the clock but she said from what they told her it sounded as though his quality of life was no better than it would have been in residential care. Interesting really, given that so many of us, including myself, feel guilty for 'putting' someone in a home.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    What I found interesting was the bit where he talked about his sister saying she couldn't do it anymore, and that she had a family and couldn't be chasing her all the time. It looks as if she was taking on the lions share of the care - how true does that ring?

    Jennifer
     
  5. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    And they only visit her in twos, as otherwise they'd have no-one to talk to.

    I don't think he mentioned whether his mother herself consented to go in a home, I think he said they only put her in there when she no longer knew where she was.

    Perhaps in that condition she is happier in a home with more people around, instead of just a nurse or carer.
     
  6. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    At least for Clif Richard the cost of all those years for his Mother in a NH would not make any dent in his finances

    Since he is such a great friend of Tonys its a pity he does not press the campaign for properly funded continuing care
     
  7. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Helena, ditto from me.

    I would think someone like Sir Cliff, known to so many millions of people, could do so much to raise awareness on this and other aspects of Dementia.......maybe we should all write to him.

    Kathleen
     
  8. Lonestray

    Lonestray Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    236
    Hereford
    Upset

    Hi Fellow carers, I have just read Cliff Richard's piece on his Mom. It made me mad why oh why do people keep saying I lost the person (loved one) to Alzheimzer's? I can assure you they are still in there. My wife has only spoken to me once in three and a half years and that was a "Yes" to my request if she would take in this stray all over again on our 50th wedding ann. After all my experiences with her ALz for the past 11 years I have learned to accept her and the illness as one, like a mother accepts a disabled child, and loves it all the more. I have reached a stage where I don't want anyone giving so called help as we are doing better on our own. She eats well and unlike others I dress her and take her out shopping and for walks, that's in spite of her being well into 'stage 7' with generalized rigidity present. I don't need some one else to talk to, I talk to my lovley wife all the time and can see in her face and eyes she understands, she also responds to my kisses plus the one hand that still works I place around my back and feel her caress. To-day is our 51st wedding ann and I will attempt to ask her once again if she would marry me all over again? Just maybe I will get an answer that I can add to my memory treasure bank. God bless. Padraig.
     
  9. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Padraig

    I think it is a measure of how different people come to terms with dementia, how much time and emotional effort they are willing or able to put into the whole thing.

    It is also different when the person with dementia is a parent or a spouse.

    A lot of it is also words.

    I know that when one talks to a journalist and they put things into a form that can be used in publication, the words often come out as we may have said them, but not as we meant them. They can't have the nuances, or the explanations that sit behind the words.

    But I can understand someone saying they have lost a loved one to dementia. I have lost Jan in that way because she no longer knows me [it is our 38th wedding anniversary this week] and, in our situation and in her particular condition, she could no longer be cared for as well at home.

    However, at another, more fundamental and important level, I have not lost her to the dementia. I converse with her incessantly during my visits, and she responds. We may neither of us appear to an outside observer to be having a conversation, but I know we are. I know because the noises she makes vary according to the situation, I know because her facial expression will soften - or not - according to what I have said, I know because she will sometimes pat my hand, or seek to find my hand, or give a fleeting kiss if I give her a cuddle - or in our [Welsh] terms, a cwtch.

    I generally welcome someone coming with me when I visit Jan, as they very occasionally do, but no conversation between me and the other visitor is needed. I have all the conversation I need with Jan, in our very special way.
     
  10. lizzie c

    lizzie c Registered User

    Aug 27, 2006
    4
    i've just read the article and my husband and myself decided to visit my father separately as we felt that he could no longer cope with seeing more than one person at a time - we think he gets more from our visits (on a good day) doing it this way - I wouldn't want to visit him if all I was doing was talking to the other visitor and ignoring him. It can be very difficult sometimes but at least one on one seems to be better for us. I would like to know why these so called "stars" do the odd article or television interview about a loved one with dementia but never seem to follow it through with anything substantial.
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I like what he said on the link “listen to Sir Cliff Richard” he just prompting better training for staff in care home on AD more awareness on the early sigh of AD .

    I do not think the issue is if he could afford to care for his mother at home or in a care home who are we to judge him just because he can afford to care for his mother at home or in a care home Money is not the issue .he did say he built a extension on his sister home for his mother then it got to the point she could not care for her mother because she needed a life of her own at lest she new her limits.

    I am glad he said his mother is not the woman she use to be and that he put a photo of his mother of how she use to look like in her room in the care home so the staff could see how she was before and I really did like what he said at the end of the radio interview
     
  12. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    They probably know perfectly well that their experiences are very different from ours, people can say money isn't an issue, but I don't suppose Cliff Richard has spent many hours waiting for buses etc.

    Lila



     
  13. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    For my part, I appreciate their doing anything at all. They don't have to.

    As to why they never follow through.... I wonder, for instance, has anyone ever asked him to do more?
     
  14. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Yes, I wonder I think his in his 60s after hearing him say that he did not know that he mother had dementia was he as ignorant just like me no knowing what dementia was .was he just like me thinking my mother was just senile going mad as he says that he mother was wondering the street . he said if only he had know back then his sister would not of argued with her mother so much if only she had know now its all to late as his mum in the last stages

    I was thinking he keep it very quite that he mother had dementia may be like a lot of people out there that are not educated on it so keep quite feel ashamed as dementia has got a negative image in his generation it is a brain disorders / disease after all not madness as in the general term how people perceive madness.

    Its us the carer that can get the real madness if we have no insight or knowledge in what is happening with someone with dementia / AD

    I wonder would we all be worried about how much money he has if his mother had cancer and was supporting the cancer awareness
     
  15. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Out there are many many people,some "stars",some ordinary folk, who give in different ways,not always money.
    We would not know how many or who they are because they do not seek publicity ,recognition or even thanks.
    IMHO
    Norman
     
  16. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    Why do they not follow it through

    I agree with you Brucie
    I did not hear or see program hubby said he heard it on radio he knows i am a fan of Cliff hubby bless him said its the happy illness --
    I have always thought Cliff is a caring person Why can we ask him to help us educate etc is it because we think they are stars and wont want to know
    How will we know if we dont ask thoughts welcome if we could write letters get fan club adress etc let me know what you think
    Bel x
     
  17. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    Re Cliff

    Just found
    SIR Cliffs ADI CENTENENARY PATRON on copmp
    Love Bel x
     
  18. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    Cliff RICHARD

    Has anyone seen his web page Sir Cliff Richard adi Centenary Patron
    What do you think ?
    Love Bel x
     

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