Citalopram

[Florencefennel]

I recently noticed a comment on citalopram, my OH has just been prescribed this as an antidepressant but as I’ve never heard of it, I was given to understand that he was going to start on Sertraline. Having searched on the nhs website, I’m now concerned about the possible side effects and long term prognosis of using this drug. I know I am concerned by his constant verbal / confused aggression which has moved onto mild physical aggression but I don’t want him put at risk any more than he already is with dementia. We are nearly 5 years on this journey and he has carers 4 hours a week and one day at an Alzheimer’s day club but that still leaves many hours of care for me to fill. I think I may have become complacent through weariness and a health fright so am wondering about practicing ‘person centred care’. Now that most groups are open again, I’m wondering if I encourage him(and join him) at several activities a week, perhaps his mood will lift and mine as well. I just feel that I am becoming numbed by the tedious routine because it is just the two of us, he has no friends of his own and doesn’t seem to be able to be interested in my friends, mostly ignores them because the effort is beyond him. Can someone out there give me some advice about making his life more worthwhile or should I accept the citalopram as a inevitable step in lessoning his aggression which I feel is caused by frustration, he is /was a highly intelligent man and is so confused by his memory loss. I should really appreciate your comments, I just don’t want to make his life any worse if there is something I can do. Thank you.

 

[JaxG]

I recently noticed a comment on citalopram, my OH has just been prescribed this as an antidepressant but as I’ve never heard of it, I was given to understand that he was going to start on Sertraline. Having searched on the nhs website, I’m now concerned about the possible side effects and long term prognosis of using this drug. I know I am concerned by his constant verbal / confused aggression which has moved onto mild physical aggression but I don’t want him put at risk any more than he already is with dementia. We are nearly 5 years on this journey and he has carers 4 hours a week and one day at an Alzheimer’s day club but that still leaves many hours of care for me to fill. I think I may have become complacent through weariness and a health fright so am wondering about practicing ‘person centred care’. Now that most groups are open again, I’m wondering if I encourage him(and join him) at several activities a week, perhaps his mood will lift and mine as well. I just feel that I am becoming numbed by the tedious routine because it is just the two of us, he has no friends of his own and doesn’t seem to be able to be interested in my friends, mostly ignores them because the effort is beyond him. Can someone out there give me some advice about making his life more worthwhile or should I accept the citalopram as a inevitable step in lessoning his aggression which I feel is caused by frustration, he is /was a highly intelligent man and is so confused by his memory loss. I should really appreciate your comments, I just don’t want to make his life any worse if there is something I can do. Thank you.

Hi @Florencefennel I am facing a similar situation to yourself. My husband was diagnosed two years ago but the deterioration started 5 or 6 years ago. He has been becoming increasingly verbally aggressive and abusive over this time and has assaulted me twice. He is considered to have 'capacity' which is strange because, although he can dress himself and feed himself or do a short walk with the dog, he gets very confused, struggles to follow conversations and can manage very little on his own. He relies on me for everything and would struggle to live alone. Both the doctor and the Social Worker have suggested I leave, and the only help they can offer is to go on anti depressants. My husband has agreed to consider this and we will give it a go .... what have you got to lose? Like you my life is becoming miserable and unbearable, I am depressed for the first time in my life. Husband doesn't enjoy the company of others, not even his family, and his moodiness over many years means he is not liked by my friends. I will take whatever help there is .... my husbands life is already destroyed by the dementia but if the drugs can take the edge off the aggression then both our lives will be improved and I may be able to continue to be his carer.

 

[sapphire turner]

Yes I agree completely anything that makes it easier for you to stay - and not completely lose heart is a good thing for your husband as well as yourself.
I am in a very similar situation, if I complain about anything my husband says why don’t you leave then? I can manage fine by myself.
I know he couldn’t but sometimes I am tempted to let him try.

 

[Florencefennel]

Thanks for replying, I feel that this the only place where there is absolute understanding and valuable advice when you can’t see the wood for the trees! Over the past few months I’ve been visiting care homes, large and small just to get ideas and some hope for respite and onwards. Although no one has assessed my partner for mental capacity, ( he could have been up for an Oscar when he had a recent video consultation with his memory doctor!) I just cannot see him him agreeing to stay anywhere when he finds he cannot operate the doors out to the garden or the rest of the building without a Carer with him.
I do desperately need a break from the constant accusations and having to edit what I say all day, but because we are not married, I have to consider my position very sensibly. We own the house as tenants in common but it wouldn’t be easy for me to manage on my own and, to be honest, for both our sakes, I‘d rather keep him at home as long as I can but that would depend on the management of his aggression.
So, JaxG, I think you are right, I just needed some reassurance that I wouldn’t causing him any more harm by adding citalopram to the memantine he’s already on. I’m well aware of the harm that living with dementia is doing to me and my life. It sounded as though you were considering anti depressants for your husband, is that correct? Your life sounds very much like mine, I feel constantly bullied without being able to object or argue which is a miserable life.
Thank you Sapphire Turner for your reply, I feel much more empowered than I felt when I woke up up this morning, long may it continue!

 

[Phil2020]

My own experience of Citalopram is that mum, 86, moderate dementia, has been on Citalopram for the best part of three years with no noticeable side effects. Her demeanour does become more 'down' if she misses a day or so. She has never been aggressive so I've no idea if or how citalopram might effect that.

 

[Dawnee]

I recently noticed a comment on citalopram, my OH has just been prescribed this as an antidepressant but as I’ve never heard of it, I was given to understand that he was going to start on Sertraline. Having searched on the nhs website, I’m now concerned about the possible side effects and long term prognosis of using this drug. I know I am concerned by his constant verbal / confused aggression which has moved onto mild physical aggression but I don’t want him put at risk any more than he already is with dementia. We are nearly 5 years on this journey and he has carers 4 hours a week and one day at an Alzheimer’s day club but that still leaves many hours of care for me to fill. I think I may have become complacent through weariness and a health fright so am wondering about practicing ‘person centred care’. Now that most groups are open again, I’m wondering if I encourage him(and join him) at several activities a week, perhaps his mood will lift and mine as well. I just feel that I am becoming numbed by the tedious routine because it is just the two of us, he has no friends of his own and doesn’t seem to be able to be interested in my friends, mostly ignores them because the effort is beyond him. Can someone out there give me some advice about making his life more worthwhile or should I accept the citalopram as a inevitable step in lessoning his aggression which I feel is caused by frustration, he is /was a highly intelligent man and is so confused by his memory loss. I should really appreciate your comments, I just don’t want to make his life any worse if there is something I can do. Thank you.

Hi Florencefennel,this seems to be a common issue we are all facing with our OH,mine has been depressed for weeks and after finally getting a g.p. appointment after 3 wks I had to practically beg said g.p. to give mine medication after getting a grilling as to why I thought he needed medication and what proof did I have that he's depressed.....After politely explaining that I am with my OH 24/7 so I know what's going on with him he finally agreed to prescribe mertazapine which I've never seen mentioned by anyone on the amazing talking point but it's worth a try right ? Only to be told by pharmacy it's out if stock and won't be in for a week....
You really couldnt make this stuff up so like everyone else In the talking point family we soldier on and take each day at a time or an hour at a time on a difficult day..... hoping for the best but prepared as we can be for the worst....

 

[JaxG]

Thanks for replying, I feel that this the only place where there is absolute understanding and valuable advice when you can’t see the wood for the trees! Over the past few months I’ve been visiting care homes, large and small just to get ideas and some hope for respite and onwards. Although no one has assessed my partner for mental capacity, ( he could have been up for an Oscar when he had a recent video consultation with his memory doctor!) I just cannot see him him agreeing to stay anywhere when he finds he cannot operate the doors out to the garden or the rest of the building without a Carer with him.
I do desperately need a break from the constant accusations and having to edit what I say all day, but because we are not married, I have to consider my position very sensibly. We own the house as tenants in common but it wouldn’t be easy for me to manage on my own and, to be honest, for both our sakes, I‘d rather keep him at home as long as I can but that would depend on the management of his aggression.
So, JaxG, I think you are right, I just needed some reassurance that I wouldn’t causing him any more harm by adding citalopram to the memantine he’s already on. I’m well aware of the harm that living with dementia is doing to me and my life. It sounded as though you were considering anti depressants for your husband, is that correct? Your life sounds very much like mine, I feel constantly bullied without being able to object or argue which is a miserable life.
Thank you Sapphire Turner for your reply, I feel much more empowered than I felt when I woke up up this morning, long may it continue!

Yes the anti depressants are for my husband, although the doctor did ask if I want them!! You are right the harm to you and your mental health is huge, if anti depressants can help to calm your husband down, then it will make both your lives better. I am in the same situation as you, financially life would be very difficult on my own so there is a lot to consider. Big hugs to you, this is so tough xxx

 

[Pork Pie lady]

Not sure what your concerns are about taking citalopram. I have had them several times for several years at a time and would go back on them if I got depressed again. When I get depressed I have a tendency to get very angry at the whole world and his wife for the slightest little thing and alongside that comes feelings of aggression. When the depression started improving it was easier to control the anger and aggressive thoughts which eventually went as the depression was dealt with.

 

[Cookie123]

My husband was prescribed citalopram in Sept and the dose increased a few weeks later. The junior gP was about to give something else but our GP said this was the preferred med in the elderly. It worked really well. The GP should be able to check any interactions with other meds.

 

[Florencefennel]

Pork pie lady and Cookie123, your comments are reassuring, I have no experience of antidepressants so I was concerned about side effects. His memory Dr checked with the consultant who treated him for a bleed on the brain last year and he wasn’t concerned. However, I seem to have become over protective towards my OH and want them to see past past his dementia and not just hand out medication. I realise this is daft and so unlike me. Having worked in a hospital for 20 years , I should know better but this is just another way that dementia has changed me.

 

[Cookie123]

Pork pie lady and Cookie123, your comments are reassuring, I have no experience of antidepressants so I was concerned about side effects. His memory Dr checked with the consultant who treated him for a bleed on the brain last year and he wasn’t concerned. However, I seem to have become over protective towards my OH and want them to see past past his dementia and not just hand out medication. I realise this is daft and so unlike me. Having worked in a hospital for 20 years , I should know better but this is just another way that dementia has changed me.

I hope things are stabilising for you and your OH. I am struggling to get staff to give the prescribed pain meds "he'll be too sleepy" FOR WHAT?? He can sleep all day as long as he is comfortable. so frustrating...He is dying and I refuse for him to be in pain. Dementia has changed all of us. He apologised for "not being much fun recently." My poor darling. He remains so sweet.