Hiya, havent logged in for a while - just been catching up with some posts and read the thread 'A Carers Christmas'.
Mum died in July after many years of living with dementia. I am still coming to terms with her death but that is a different story. Dont know for how many years my sons and I have packed the car up on Christmas morning and gone to mum and dads so that we could all be together. Last year we all went to the Nursing Home and spent the morning there, and then later I pushed mum home in a wheel chair for Christmas dinner.(Not that she could join us at the table, but she was with us).
This year we are going to stay at home. Dad is talking about going up to the Nursing Home Christmas morning - before we pick him up for a late Christmas dinner, and then he will spend the evening with us. A friend suggested I got a candle for mum - to light as we eat, so once again she will in the midst of us. I have her photo in the lounge and will buy her some flowers for Christmas. It will be a poignant time - but it will be ok - a new beginning.
I have some good Christmas memories and some sad ones - have never thought of it as being a happy clappy time. I refuse to get caught up in that expectation. It is about being able to be honest with our emotions - to acknowledge our pain and loss, but also to acknowledge the joy and hope of other family members and friends. I know that I will cry on Christmas Day, but I also know that I will laugh and love - and I know that all those emotions are OK.
Love Helen
Mum died in July after many years of living with dementia. I am still coming to terms with her death but that is a different story. Dont know for how many years my sons and I have packed the car up on Christmas morning and gone to mum and dads so that we could all be together. Last year we all went to the Nursing Home and spent the morning there, and then later I pushed mum home in a wheel chair for Christmas dinner.(Not that she could join us at the table, but she was with us).
This year we are going to stay at home. Dad is talking about going up to the Nursing Home Christmas morning - before we pick him up for a late Christmas dinner, and then he will spend the evening with us. A friend suggested I got a candle for mum - to light as we eat, so once again she will in the midst of us. I have her photo in the lounge and will buy her some flowers for Christmas. It will be a poignant time - but it will be ok - a new beginning.
I have some good Christmas memories and some sad ones - have never thought of it as being a happy clappy time. I refuse to get caught up in that expectation. It is about being able to be honest with our emotions - to acknowledge our pain and loss, but also to acknowledge the joy and hope of other family members and friends. I know that I will cry on Christmas Day, but I also know that I will laugh and love - and I know that all those emotions are OK.
Love Helen