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Christmas

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,004
Colchester
We are all in different situations caused by Dementia. My husband is in a home. The first time we have been apart for Christmas. In fact we haven't been apart for most of our 52 year marriage. So I want to wish you all here on Talking point, a peaceful Christmas and as much happiness as the dementia will allow. My Christmas is without my husband even thought I will have my Christmas dinner with him at the home. So take care of yourselves and try to enjoy as best you can. Thank you all for your support and we must look forward to another new year in hope it will be at least calm. Love to you all.x
 

Prudence9

Registered User
Oct 8, 2016
478
Enjoy your dinner with your husband Casbow, have a lovely day if you can, you've had a very tough year of it.

You must miss him being with you after all those years but I hope you can live "in the moment" tomorrow.

A peaceful Christmas and love to you too xxx
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
718
We are all in different situations caused by Dementia. My husband is in a home. The first time we have been apart for Christmas. In fact we haven't been apart for most of our 52 year marriage. So I want to wish you all here on Talking point, a peaceful Christmas and as much happiness as the dementia will allow. My Christmas is without my husband even thought I will have my Christmas dinner with him at the home. So take care of yourselves and try to enjoy as best you can. Thank you all for your support and we must look forward to another new year in hope it will be at least calm. Love to you all.x
My husband is also in a home and it’s my first Christmas after 41 years apart from him, I’m also having Christmas dinner with him there, I hope you enjoy your time together, look after yourself
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
A Merry Christmas to you all and hopefully a peaceful calm one:) @Casbow enjoy your meal with your husband 52 years is a long time we’ve clocked up 47 this year x
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
Thank you for these posts. It reminds me to ‘be in the moment’ too. I will enjoy my day with my lovely husband, and be glad to have him here with me. Even if he does think I am a member of staff!!
 

Bennyboy58

Registered User
Oct 9, 2016
5
Another Christmas away from my husdand, no he is not in a home but in another country while i care for my mum in the UK. Lucky to have a man with compassion, will see him end of January. Love to everyone.
 

Lilac Blossom

Registered User
Oct 6, 2014
564
Scotland
I am another one who has had lunch with hubby in his care home - the first Christmas we have been apart since we married 59 years ago. We had a nice lunch and he enjoyed my company.

Bennyboy, I hope you will have a wonderful reunion with your man end of January - bless him, dementia is a demanding taskmaster but his support for you in caring for your mum must be a great encouragement to you.

Love to all - hope the day went well, good visit, etc.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,764
Salford
My wife's in a nursing home, it's her second year there and in one of those twist of fate the home is on the same road, about 500 yards from where I had a flat years ago. It was there that a friend brought her to a Christmas party, she was a nurse and a friend of my friend Steve's girlfriend so they brought her along so she didn't have to spend Christmas alone in the nurses' home.
Basically she came to the parry and never left. That was 43 years ago tomorrow (boxing day) and today I went the long way round just so I didn't have to drive past the place, breaks my heart seeing the lights on in the window and all the decorations just like it was 43 years ago.
K
 

rosy18

Registered User
Jul 23, 2016
1,281
Blackpool
My wife's in a nursing home, it's her second year there and in one of those twist of fate the home is on the same road, about 500 yards from where I had a flat years ago. It was there that a friend brought her to a Christmas party, she was a nurse and a friend of my friend Steve's girlfriend so they brought her along so she didn't have to spend Christmas alone in the nurses' home.
Basically she came to the parry and never left. That was 43 years ago tomorrow (boxing day) and today I went the long way round just so I didn't have to drive past the place, breaks my heart seeing the lights on in the window and all the decorations just like it was 43 years ago.
K
Oh Kevini my heart went out to you when I read this post. I hope you had a good visit with your wife today and you are able to remember all the good times of when you first met all those years ago when you see her tomorrow
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,603
Merseyside
My wife's in a nursing home, it's her second year there and in one of those twist of fate the home is on the same road, about 500 yards from where I had a flat years ago. It was there that a friend brought her to a Christmas party, she was a nurse and a friend of my friend Steve's girlfriend so they brought her along so she didn't have to spend Christmas alone in the nurses' home.
Basically she came to the parry and never left. That was 43 years ago tomorrow (boxing day) and today I went the long way round just so I didn't have to drive past the place, breaks my heart seeing the lights on in the window and all the decorations just like it was 43 years ago.
K
I wish you strength Kevin.
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,118
Scotland
How very difficult for you Kevin. This time of year is not easy when it holds memories of special times in our past lives together.

Wishing you strength.
Loo x
 

SnowWhite

Registered User
Nov 18, 2016
699
This is the first year Mum hasnt been to mine for Xmas for decades. We went to visit her in her respite home for a couple of hours this afternoon. She had had a fab lunch she said with every possible trimming and it was lovely. She was very tired and not too interested in opening her gifts.

She looks well, shes warm and well cared for and its just like her brain is slowing down day by day which is sad. We get days when she remembers her childhood vividly and can name all her neighbours but then I took xmas cards in today which came in the post and she couldnt remember a single name.
 

SnowWhite

Registered User
Nov 18, 2016
699
My wife's in a nursing home, it's her second year there and in one of those twist of fate the home is on the same road, about 500 yards from where I had a flat years ago. It was there that a friend brought her to a Christmas party, she was a nurse and a friend of my friend Steve's girlfriend so they brought her along so she didn't have to spend Christmas alone in the nurses' home.
Basically she came to the parry and never left. That was 43 years ago tomorrow (boxing day) and today I went the long way round just so I didn't have to drive past the place, breaks my heart seeing the lights on in the window and all the decorations just like it was 43 years ago.
K

That is terribly sad Kevin. Ive been married 40 years and its a LONG time to be with one person. X
 

wink62

Registered User
Dec 23, 2015
32
We are all in different situations caused by Dementia. My husband is in a home. The first time we have been apart for Christmas. In fact we haven't been apart for most of our 52 year marriage. So I want to wish you all here on Talking point, a peaceful Christmas and as much happiness as the dementia will allow. My Christmas is without my husband even thought I will have my Christmas dinner with him at the home. So take care of yourselves and try to enjoy as best you can. Thank you all for your support and we must look forward to another new year in hope it will be at least calm. Love to you all.x
Hi I too have had first Christmas in 40 years without my husband 80 who has been in a care home 4weeks now
I've had a very emotional week but seeing him today vacant and shuffling I realise that he's in the right place
And I need to get on with my life I'm only 64
Anyway happy new year to you hope that you can rebuild your life too x
 

Wee sis

Registered User
Sep 18, 2017
7
I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself. My daughters & families and my husband who has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's all went away for Christmas. One husband and the other daughter have had a major row and the two families have fallen out. One family has now gone home. I refuse to take sides but now I'm stuck in the middle. My OH is mostly oblivious to it and I've tried to make light of it but I could strangle the lot of them. This could be the last year he could enjoy Christmas and I'll not have that good memory. I know I'm being selfish but I can't help it.
At least I've got it off my chest. I never thought my first posting would be like this.
I realise from all the other replies that at least we are still together this year and for that I'm thankful.
Merry Christmas and a happy healthy 2018 to all. Count your blessings.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,258
Yorkshire
hello @Wee sis
welcome to posting on TP
families eh?! somehow Christmas can just get too much
doesn't sound to me as though you are the one being selfish - and I am glad your husband is unaware
as you say, count the blessings
best wishes for the New Year
 

Dayperson

Registered User
Feb 18, 2015
277
Shropshire
I hope everyone got through it all ok?

It's been another tough one, the stress of seeing mum the way she is made me feel depressed and I needed time alone in my room.
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
Families they can be a blessing but also sometimes a curse, I give thanks that up to know mine have been a blessing especially this year big hugs to all and hope the coming New Year is not too stressful for everyone and we all manage to cope with whatever it brings us xxxo_O