1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    997
    Colchester
    We are all in different situations caused by Dementia. My husband is in a home. The first time we have been apart for Christmas. In fact we haven't been apart for most of our 52 year marriage. So I want to wish you all here on Talking point, a peaceful Christmas and as much happiness as the dementia will allow. My Christmas is without my husband even thought I will have my Christmas dinner with him at the home. So take care of yourselves and try to enjoy as best you can. Thank you all for your support and we must look forward to another new year in hope it will be at least calm. Love to you all.x
     
  2. Prudence9

    Prudence9 Registered User

    Oct 8, 2016
    478
    Enjoy your dinner with your husband Casbow, have a lovely day if you can, you've had a very tough year of it.

    You must miss him being with you after all those years but I hope you can live "in the moment" tomorrow.

    A peaceful Christmas and love to you too xxx
     
  3. Baker17

    Baker17 Registered User

    Mar 9, 2016
    305
    My husband is also in a home and it’s my first Christmas after 41 years apart from him, I’m also having Christmas dinner with him there, I hope you enjoy your time together, look after yourself
     
  4. Sammie234

    Sammie234 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2016
    211
    Shropshire
    A Merry Christmas to you all and hopefully a peaceful calm one:) @Casbow enjoy your meal with your husband 52 years is a long time we’ve clocked up 47 this year x
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,539
    Ireland
    Hope you have a good day tomorrow, Casbow. xx
     
  6. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,749
    Female
    Kent
    Thank you for these posts. It reminds me to ‘be in the moment’ too. I will enjoy my day with my lovely husband, and be glad to have him here with me. Even if he does think I am a member of staff!!
     
  7. Bennyboy58

    Bennyboy58 Registered User

    Oct 9, 2016
    5
    Another Christmas away from my husdand, no he is not in a home but in another country while i care for my mum in the UK. Lucky to have a man with compassion, will see him end of January. Love to everyone.
     
  8. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    I am another one who has had lunch with hubby in his care home - the first Christmas we have been apart since we married 59 years ago. We had a nice lunch and he enjoyed my company.

    Bennyboy, I hope you will have a wonderful reunion with your man end of January - bless him, dementia is a demanding taskmaster but his support for you in caring for your mum must be a great encouragement to you.

    Love to all - hope the day went well, good visit, etc.
     
  9. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    My wife's in a nursing home, it's her second year there and in one of those twist of fate the home is on the same road, about 500 yards from where I had a flat years ago. It was there that a friend brought her to a Christmas party, she was a nurse and a friend of my friend Steve's girlfriend so they brought her along so she didn't have to spend Christmas alone in the nurses' home.
    Basically she came to the parry and never left. That was 43 years ago tomorrow (boxing day) and today I went the long way round just so I didn't have to drive past the place, breaks my heart seeing the lights on in the window and all the decorations just like it was 43 years ago.
    K
     
  10. rosy18

    rosy18 Registered User

    Jul 23, 2016
    1,279
    Female
    Blackpool
    Oh Kevini my heart went out to you when I read this post. I hope you had a good visit with your wife today and you are able to remember all the good times of when you first met all those years ago when you see her tomorrow
     
  11. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,342
    Merseyside
    I wish you strength Kevin.
     
  12. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,118
    Female
    Scotland
    How very difficult for you Kevin. This time of year is not easy when it holds memories of special times in our past lives together.

    Wishing you strength.
    Loo x
     
  13. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699
    This is the first year Mum hasnt been to mine for Xmas for decades. We went to visit her in her respite home for a couple of hours this afternoon. She had had a fab lunch she said with every possible trimming and it was lovely. She was very tired and not too interested in opening her gifts.

    She looks well, shes warm and well cared for and its just like her brain is slowing down day by day which is sad. We get days when she remembers her childhood vividly and can name all her neighbours but then I took xmas cards in today which came in the post and she couldnt remember a single name.
     
  14. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Registered User

    Nov 18, 2016
    699

    That is terribly sad Kevin. Ive been married 40 years and its a LONG time to be with one person. X
     
  15. wink62

    wink62 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2015
    32
    Hi I too have had first Christmas in 40 years without my husband 80 who has been in a care home 4weeks now
    I've had a very emotional week but seeing him today vacant and shuffling I realise that he's in the right place
    And I need to get on with my life I'm only 64
    Anyway happy new year to you hope that you can rebuild your life too x
     
  16. Wee sis

    Wee sis Registered User

    Sep 18, 2017
    7
    I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself. My daughters & families and my husband who has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's all went away for Christmas. One husband and the other daughter have had a major row and the two families have fallen out. One family has now gone home. I refuse to take sides but now I'm stuck in the middle. My OH is mostly oblivious to it and I've tried to make light of it but I could strangle the lot of them. This could be the last year he could enjoy Christmas and I'll not have that good memory. I know I'm being selfish but I can't help it.
    At least I've got it off my chest. I never thought my first posting would be like this.
    I realise from all the other replies that at least we are still together this year and for that I'm thankful.
    Merry Christmas and a happy healthy 2018 to all. Count your blessings.
     
  17. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    hello @Wee sis
    welcome to posting on TP
    families eh?! somehow Christmas can just get too much
    doesn't sound to me as though you are the one being selfish - and I am glad your husband is unaware
    as you say, count the blessings
    best wishes for the New Year
     
  18. Dayperson

    Dayperson Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    277
    Female
    Shropshire
    I hope everyone got through it all ok?

    It's been another tough one, the stress of seeing mum the way she is made me feel depressed and I needed time alone in my room.
     
  19. Sammie234

    Sammie234 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2016
    211
    Shropshire
    Families they can be a blessing but also sometimes a curse, I give thanks that up to know mine have been a blessing especially this year big hugs to all and hope the coming New Year is not too stressful for everyone and we all manage to cope with whatever it brings us xxxo_O
     

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