Christmas & New Year blah!

[Linbrusco]

Mum 73 is in moderate stage of AD.
She still realises what Xmas is all about, but its as if the 1st of December has rolled around, and she's in a complete dither. Even Dad admitted to me shes's been worse (no UTI) Her short term memory is even shorter, and shes getting words jumbled up.

From what does she buy the grandkids, to Xmas cakes, to how many chocolates should she buy, to where is she having Xmas, how many cards should she buy.....it seems to occupy her whole mind.
This year we are having Xmas at our place, instead of my sisters, which although I really can't be bothered with the preparation, at least I won't have to organise Mum & Dad to go out, and get home at a reasonable time.

After Xmas it will be New Year. Is she going anywhere, who with, where are we going, what are we doing, are we all going to a party....

We haven't celebrated a New Year for about 3 yrs

 

[Ann Mac]

I'm another one who is rapidly getting fed up of Christmas, before its even really here, Lin!

Every advert or mention on TV, if we are in the car and we pass a house all decorated, or if we go into a shop and she spots the decorations/trees/card displays, it triggers the same round of fretting and questions for Mil. Firstly, When is Christmas? Is it soon? WHY DID NO ONE TELL HER?. Then, She doesn't know where she will be spending Christmas, what is she going to do about presents?, She hasn't saved any money to buy presents, she has no idea how she is going to go shopping, where will she be having Christmas dinner ?, She needs to buy a turkey. . .

Though I can be glad that she hasn't started on New Year yet, I guess xxxx

 

[jen54]

mum doesn't seem to be twigging xmas is coming at all, I keep saying it's nearly xmas, but she never comments, or mentions anything when xmas ads come on - two years ago she was getting agitated and fretting about she couldn't get out ot get presents etc, but since then it seems to go over her head. I have got some cards to take up and see if she wants to send them etc, but didn't want to start to early in case she did spend the whole month worrying!
Torn this year, I really feel it's all too much, but for mum this may be the last Xmas and this will be the first xmas without dad- s I hardly feel in festive mood, and am already worrying about mum alone, and if we will be able to get her out etc we can't let her sit alone over xmas but she is very hard to get moving anywhere

 

[Witzend]

mum doesn't seem to be twigging xmas is coming at all, I keep saying it's nearly xmas, but she never comments, or mentions anything when xmas ads come on - two years ago she was getting agitated and fretting about she couldn't get out ot get presents etc, but since then it seems to go over her head. I have got some cards to take up and see if she wants to send them etc, but didn't want to start to early in case she did spend the whole month worrying!
Torn this year, I really feel it's all too much, but for mum this may be the last Xmas and this will be the first xmas without dad- s I hardly feel in festive mood, and am already worrying about mum alone, and if we will be able to get her out etc we can't let her sit alone over xmas but she is very hard to get moving anywhere

In many ways IMO it is a blessing, albeit a very sad-edged one, when the person ceases to be aware despite endless TV ads etc. For 2 or 3 years before the CH my mother would fret about cards and presents - I would buy them all and wrap them, and write all the envelopes, etc. and just get her to sign the cards and gift tags. But there came a time when even that was too much effort for her, and then she was no longer aware at all, even with a lovely Christmas tree in the CH sitting room. And even, for that matter, pre CH, when she was being given presents on the day, and there were crackers on the dining table.

 

[lizzybean]

I'm very bah humbug when it comes to Christmas, too much work/preparation. MIL is fretting about her cards/pressie buying, keeps telling me she is dreading Christmas. She has been coming to me for 18 years since her OH died, I also have her sister (86) & her OH (93) ( they have a daughter but...) She doesn't write cards anymore, has given everyone money for years so she doesn't have anything to do, I sort all that for her. Doesn't stop her fretting tho.

Oh! & a couple of weeks ago we were at Alz Soc at our "drama sessions" rehearsing our "play" singing carols etc (well she was I don't sing for nobody) & she said why are we singing Christmas songs? It's gone!

 

[marionq]

Well I'll take the other view! I do Christmas very low key especially as my three daughters live outside Scotland. When John was well we would travel to them or they would come here but that is no longer doable. Nevertheless I detach myself from the nonsense and concentrate on what I love - music, bright lights, concerts, carols and Christmas dinner and church. So no humbug here thank you!

 

[Izzy]

Well I'll take the other view! I do Christmas very low key especially as my three daughters live outside Scotland. When John was well we would travel to them or they would come here but that is no longer doable. Nevertheless I detach myself from the nonsense and concentrate on what I love - music, bright lights, concerts, carols and Christmas dinner and church. So no humbug here thank you!

Snap! We'll be travelling to my brother's in Cambuslang for Christmas Eve and to my nephew's in Livingston for Christmas Day. Everything will be done by my family and by me to make the days enjoyable for Bill. I know I'm lucky. Like you Marion I love all of the things you have listed.

I'm sorry it can be such a sad time for so many people though. I count my blessings. xx

 

[Linbrusco]

Don't get me wrong, we do make the most of Christmas Day for Mum especially , and she loves seeing all her grandchildren, it's just the lead up to it is so overwhelming.
Puts Mum in a right tail spin, and I just can't get excited the same as years ago.

The hardest thing is trying to do the right thing by my children at the same time.

 

[lizzybean]

Well I'll take the other view! I do Christmas very low key especially as my three daughters live outside Scotland. When John was well we would travel to them or they would come here but that is no longer doable. Nevertheless I detach myself from the nonsense and concentrate on what I love - music, bright lights, concerts, carols and Christmas dinner and church. So no humbug here thank you!

I think that was my point Marionq! I would prefer just to go to Mass (as I do every Sunday) & have a nice lunch. However I like to provide a nice Christmas for others & it takes a lot of hard work. I am having my Dad (80) but sound of mind, also my daughter & her partner for lunch as well. My sis, BIL & their lot come later on in the day so I have a house full. All I'm saying is that in the run up I get tired & prob don't enjoy it as much as I would like. All this (like many, many others on here) whilst dealing with all MILs daily stuff.
I prefer to give gifts rather than money so there is all the present shopping/wrapping etc as well.

Just so much to do.

 

[Witzend]

Well I'll take the other view! I do Christmas very low key especially as my three daughters live outside Scotland. When John was well we would travel to them or they would come here but that is no longer doable. Nevertheless I detach myself from the nonsense and concentrate on what I love - music, bright lights, concerts, carols and Christmas dinner and church. So no humbug here thank you!

I agree - nobody HAS to buy into all the tat and humbug. One thing I must have, though, is Carols from Kings on Christmas Eve, preferably accompanied by mulled wine! We spent many years overseas, Cyprus and the Gulf, and thanks to the BBC World Service, God bless it, I was still able to listen - it just ain't Christmas without it, not to me anyway. Not sure OH is bothered! he is more keen on the food bit. I made first batch of mince pies on Monday, just the trad little ones, 2 dozen, and by about 8 pm there were just 9 left