The day centre closed for 2 weeks over Christmas, mum is so difficult to get any carers in that we had 3 days over Christmas that the one regular carer we can get in the door had off so had to handle it on our own. Inspite of being so run down that I have had recurrent chest and ear infections and now a nice bout of sinisitus to top it all off I dragged myself to the shops with mum repeatedly so that she could buy presents and buy items of food. I was glad that she had enough memory of Christmas's past to want to do it. But the ungratitude and the constant nit picking and griping and complaining about what I haven't done had me ready to scream before Christmas eve. Icing the Christmas cake all she wants to do is complain that someone bought her a colouring book and her carer bough her flowers ( colouring was her big passion until a month ago now it is a wierd thing that she would never do) We've had mum round every day over the Christmas period, stealing the mornings for ourselves and the children who have lost out on so much attention. Then today she rings and wants to come round earlier, we try to delay her but confused conversation means we cave in. We are playing a game with the two littlest kids when she arrives and then sits staring daggers because we continue to play, not inviting her to join in becuase she just wouldn't be able to and not stopping to give her undivided attention. Once the game ends my husband takes my little girl out on her bike so that I can yet again give my mother more attention. Is spend all afternoon trying to help her to a simple weaving craft. Finally it is time that I can escape and cook dinner so mum follows me and wants to help - any refusal of help is always met with her getting annoyed so I let her mess up my dinner ( cooking is one of the few pleasures left when I can do it alone) Then I have to break the news that I am taking the children iceskating tomorrow and her carer will be back in with another lady who she knows coming to warm up her dinner ( that I am cooking) I've learnt not to tell her these things much in advance as she will wreck a whole day, but I've spent all day feeling stressed about the confrontation that is coming - if she knew we were really going to the winter wonderland at Hyde Park there would be further hell to pay - she told the nurse recently that I should never go out without her and that she shouldn't have to have carers as I should do it all ( with 5 kids and a full time job) SHe stormed out, husband and I took todays dinner and all tomorrows meals down later and she had another go, we've been fielding I'm sorry phonecalls that end with her having a go at me for the past couple of hours. All this to be able to spend a guilt ridden day with my children. And the punishment won't stop there it will go on for days after. She asked tonight why I took on looking after her, I explained that she was my mother and there was no one else and she pointed out that there were lots of people who could be my mother. She has this obsessive attachment to me but has no idea that I am her daughter. I can kind of handle not being her daughter, i just wish that her attachment to me would lesson with that knowledge. Rant over - apologies I know I'm not the only one who will have had a tough Christmas!