1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005
    103
    leicestershire
    My sister with dementia has already forgotten that Christmas has gone and when she sees the cards etc thinks she has to go and get presents etc. it is very sad. also she seems to now becoming daytime incontinent. wet chair last night and pads wet in day for few days, dont know whether they will still take her at day care, have to ring this morning after she has gone to explain ptoblem. i think she will be ok if prompted which is something I must now remember to do at home. I'm afraid I got cross with her last night but still she will have forgotten this morning so mustn't punish myself, I'm not perfect in fact get annoyed quite often which is not good as it is not her fault.

    Well happy new year eveyone- hope to go to gym this morning ate too much this holiday love pam
     
  2. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Pam,

    Sorry to hear about your mother. Mine is the other way - she wants to go to the loo every five minutes for no real reason, which is an anxiety trigger instead. A little gentle prompt every hour or so should help.

    Getting cross is something we all have to deal with. Living with AD is an incredibly frustrating task and a pretty thankless one. It does help to walk out of the room when you start to get snappy. I used to go to the bathroom and pull faces at myself in the mirror - if you do that then you end up laughing again! It works.

    Best wishes and HNY.

    Jude
     
  3. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    308
    Huddersfield
    Christmas Forgotten

    Dear Pam and Hello everyone

    It is quite a while since my last posting, I seem to have lacked the energy to compose letters of late, although I have been reading the posts.

    I know exactly what you mean about Christmas, Margaret didn't even try to open her cards or presents, making you feel you had wasted your time buying and wrapping them. For the first time in 54 years of marriage I haven't put up a tree or trimmings, I did put some lights on the tree outside the door (I think that is the Hyacinth Bucket syndrome in me) but Margaret showed no interest or pleasure in that either.

    She is doubly incontinent, and up until this last 6months refused to wear pads, but now fortunately has reached the stage where she wears whatever I put on her without comment.

    I have found some excellent pads which seem to be both better fitting and more absorbent than the usual run of pads. These combined with regular toileting have reduced the incidence of wet clothes, chairs etc to almost nil. She even gets through the night three times out of five with only the pad wet and not her nightdress or the drawsheet. If anyone wants the name of the supplier send me a private message and I will let them know.

    I would like to take the opportunity to wish you all a Happy and Peaceful New Year

    Cheers Barraf
     
  4. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Hi Barraf,

    So good to hear from you again after what seems a long time. I wish you a Happy New Year. Do keep in touch when you can.

    Kind regards,

    Jude
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    . Hi Barraf, nice to hear from yo u. Happy new year to you and Margaret. Never had you down as a Mrs. Bucket. Take care now. Connie.

    Pammy, It is so sad when our loved ones can't remember. We try so hard as well, but I feel sure that at some point it gives them great pleasure.
    A family friend of ours, with A.D. spent the whole of Christmas day asking everyone assembled what they were going to do for Christmas.
    Look after yourself, love Connie
     
  6. sarahc

    sarahc Registered User

    Apr 4, 2004
    33
    Christmas/ birthday /whatever ....

    When I rang my mum in her home on Xmas day she said she was enjoying her birthday (which is in February!) !. Oh well at least she was celebrating something... !
    Sarah
     
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Christmas forgotten

    This all rings a bell. The presents I gave David for the past 3 are still unrecognised - opened yes but forgotten within minutes. So we have CDs, Crown Derby (which he loves and was a special gift) - still not truly accepted.
    I bought myself presents from him (at his request) but he still does not know whether he has bought a pressie or not. I may not bother at all next yr. At least some comfort that we all are going through similar reactions. (David has been asking what are we doing for Christmas but maybe now even that seems in the distant past or completely forgotton.). Best wishes to all BeckyJan
     
  8. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    100
    South-East London, UK
    This Christmas present business is very sad, isn't it? I bought a couple of presents to me from my husband and gave them to him to wrap up, together with all the necessary paper, bows, gift tags, etc. I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and came back five minutes later to find him searching for my present. He had wrapped it (stuck on a bow and gift tag), and put it somewhere (I had told him to put it under the tree), but he couldn't find it and couldn't remember what it looked like. He found it tucked behind a Christmas card, so all was well.

    I bought him a new hat (a rather smart fedora). We had bought it together, to check the size and for him to choose the colour, a few weeks before Christmas but, because he couldn't remember that of course, it was a surprise as far as he was concerned. A teensy-weensy advantage of dementia (I jest, of course).

    Bets
     
  9. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Baraf
    great to see you back,I think I had a similar Xmas to yours.
    Areyou bowling indoors?
    I am but long for the outside.
    Norman
     

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