1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Sweetie

    Sweetie Registered User

    Nov 27, 2005
    13
    North Yorkshire
    Hello,

    I wonder if anyone has any advice. My mum has been in an EMI care home for a couple of weeks after spending two weeks in assessment unit at her local hospital.
    Each time I have visited she has asked when she is going home etc. and says she hates it, but apparently when I'm not there she is usually OK.

    Had hoped to be able to bring her out for Christmas Day - she is still very mobile, but now having second thoughts as she hasn't settled properly (will she ever?) and probably spend all the time saying she won't go back in.

    Has anyone any experience of this please?

    Thanks
     
  2. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    Hi

    Two years ago my mum was in an assessment unit at Christmas and we had the builders in at home (I'm talking major wrecking job, not even a kitchen left) so we ended up having a lovely meal and quite a nice time in the unit with mum on Xmas day. I had dreaded it but it was fine.

    Is there anyway you could make those arrangements? Maybe have a private party in her room or have dinner in the home? It's not as terrible as it sounds.
     
  3. purchase

    purchase Registered User

    Aug 31, 2005
    50
    England
    Hello

    I am in the same dilemma as you. Mom is in a care home and I had planned to have her home with us on Christmas Day. All mom does is cry and ask when can she come home. We have had to give her home up and have not told her yet.

    I spoke to the manager of the home and have almost decided that we will try and have mom home but if she cries and becomes really upset we will have to be stong and take her back. I am sure that both my mom and yours will have a good time in their homes. It is us who will feel it.

    Hope you have a good Christmas whatever you decide to do

    Jacky
     
  4. Don't know if this info. is any use as it's a bit general - but I'll post it anyway.

    I worked on a Dementia Assessment Unit at Christmas, and can recall almost everyone getting involved with the festivities... the canteen laid on a 'Christmas Buffet', all the staff were on working 'short shifts' (i.e. practically everyone was there for the day) and the mood was great.

    There was a Christmas Tree, decorations etc. etc.

    Now, I'm not going to say EVERYTHING was hunky dory - that would be dishonest... of course there were some people distressed, but I have to say that in general, the majority did appreciate that it was Christmas and acknowledged it... and, I can't recall anyone being upset at not being with relatives (if they did, no one voiced it and I'm SURE they would have) - I'd even say that for many, they were too busy enjoying the day to worry about that!


    Anyhow - that's my 'two cents' worth - hope I'm not intruding in this thread.

    N.
     
  5. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    #5 Mjaqmac, Dec 4, 2005
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2005
    Dearth you are right in what you're saying. I had the same experience. The people at the unit went out of their way to give us a wonderful lunch. Christmas music, crackers and the staff were very friendly. They gave us the small canteen to ourselves just mum, dad and I while everyone else had lunch in another dining room. I had just got engaged that morning and everyone joined in with the celebrations and congratulations. What I thought would be a nightmare wasn't bad. We left when mum went to sleep after her huge lunch. I would urge anyone who is terribly worried about having a loved one home, to make arrangements with the home for a celebration on the premises.
    Christmas is a hard time for carers, but you can take a little of the stress off by planning ahead. It's not written in stone that you must follow the same routine each year at Christmas. Lives have changed and family traditions change with them.
     
  6. Mjmagic - many thanks for sharing that here... nice to see a positive story that involves a 'dementia care setting' rather than a negative one for a change.

    :)

    N.
     
  7. mimi

    mimi Registered User

    Dec 1, 2005
    8
    Birmingham
    Xmas Day

    I Know what you mean - i am facing same situation. mom has just gone in a home and I will try to get mom out on xmas day to have dinner with us - but it will be her first outing since going in a care home. I wonder what i will be up against - reading what others are saying here. eek! i think i will try and if it goes wrong - at least i have tried. its emotionally wrecking though when a trip u planned goes wrong because the AD sufferer wont comply etc...
    thinking of everyone in same sitn.
    mimi
     
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hiya, I had over ten years working Christmases in homes, the staff always did their darndest to ensure everyone had a good time. There were all sorts of entertainments, food and wine (or non alcoholic) flowed for the residents and the meals were brilliant. One year we had no one to wash up so my hubby stepped in and he thoroughly enjoyed himself even though he had to wash up for over 40!! The staff usually dress up and wear silly hats etc which adds to the fun. Try not to worry, Christmas in a home can still be Christmas. Lotsaluv, She. XX
     
  9. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    I know hospitals can be a bit different from homes but when my daughter-in-law was general nursing she always volunteered to work Christmas day. She said it was such a lovely time. She did this right up until her first child was born.
    Says something doesn't it. Connie
     

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