christmas at home or in the care home

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by alison1981, Nov 29, 2015.

  1. alison1981

    alison1981 Registered User

    Dec 13, 2013
    62
    Hi all

    This christmas is the first time mum isn't at home and we have discussed with the care home and they have suggested she comes home for a trial run to see how she will react etc.

    Any tips on how to get her back there?
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Hi there! I'm not quite clear - do you want her to come home for Christmas but she is coming home first to see how she goes?
     
  3. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,282
    SW London
    I would suggest bringing her home for lunch, and then telling her you are going out for tea, and getting back to the CH for teatime. All this assuming you live close enough, of course.

    Having said that, how long has she been in the care home? Will she be aware that it's Christmas?
    We brought my FIL home for his first Christmas after he went into the CH but it was a bad mistake. He was confused and/or agitated for much of the time, and we wished we'd listened to the CH staff, who'd said he'd be better left in his safe, familiar routine. But I should add that I think we'd have felt bad if we hadn't tried.
    We never repeated the experience, though, and when it came to my mother we would just visit on Christmas morning. To be honest, after she went into the CH (and even for a couple of years previously) she never had a clue that it was Christmas, even with turkey and crackers on the table, and people giving her presents, etc.
     
  4. alison1981

    alison1981 Registered User

    Dec 13, 2013
    62
    Hi thank you for your reply.

    We live about 10 minutes drive away from the care home. She goes through periods of wanting to come home and crying for us to take her with us! At the moment it is a good time for her. She has been in there since June this year, she was sectioned in April because she went for my dad with a knife, it was really scary I was at work. I want to bring her home for christmas she does know it's nearly Christmas as her birthday is 9 days before Christmas so she keeps saying about her birthday coming up. It is a gamble I know, but even if we have a bad time at least I will know for next year and leave her in there.

    We are thinking of picking her up at 10 am and taking her back there at 2pm or sooner if she wishes to go back. My dad is really worried about how we are going to get her back there.
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Is there something going on at the care home at the time of her return - that would be key especially if at least one member of the family would stay and join in with it - then there is an easy way of saying 'we have to get back or we will miss xxxxx and i'm really looking forward to it'
     
  6. geniemax

    geniemax Registered User

    Oct 30, 2015
    27
    Hi my son lives in a care home and one Christmas He came to me all day Christmas but it was all too much for him and everyone else suffered too so now he stays over Christmas eve opens his presents Xmas morning and then a bite to it at lunch and here it is back to HIS HOME for the PARTY with his friends works great he back safe for 2.30 ish and we can have the grandkids without stress everyone happy I know its a bit different for you but the idea is the same
     

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