Choking on own saliva

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Dad can't eat and drink without choking now. Had only a few spoons of food and drink. Trying to talk and is hallucinating more from dehydration no doubt. Doctors came last night for second time, eventually after hours of waiting. His saliva is going straight down without swallowing and it's collecting in his lungs. Explains the random choking. He only choked with food/drink a few days ago, now that's changing. We have 24 hours before a decision is made. He is agitated as it is, must be painful being so dehydrated so that in my opinion is too long. The doctor said it could improve but it's highly likely it's the progression of the dementia. Have to come to terms with the next stage. End of life meds. Horrific. Can't believe it. My Dad. My big strong Dad. Last Thursday he was 6 stone 8, he will be far less today. So sad. I just wish this suffering was over, my mum just wanted him to make their 50th anniversary on the 20/8. We have the radio on for him and Endless love came on by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross, the worst song ever for emotions. She asked me who sung it, I know what she was thinking of, his funeral.
 

Bill Owen

Registered User
Feb 17, 2014
182
67
BRIDGEND
End of life

dad can't eat and drink without choking now. Had only a few spoons of food and drink. Trying to talk and is hallucinating more from dehydration no doubt. Doctors came last night for second time, eventually after hours of waiting. His saliva is going straight down without swallowing and it's collecting in his lungs. Explains the random choking. He only choked with food/drink a few days ago, now that's changing. We have 24 hours before a decision is made. He is agitated as it is, must be painful being so dehydrated so that in my opinion is too long. The doctor said it could improve but it's highly likely it's the progression of the dementia. Have to come to terms with the next stage. End of life meds. Horrific. Can't believe it. My dad. My big strong dad. Last thursday he was 6 stone 8, he will be far less today. So sad. I just wish this suffering was over, my mum just wanted him to make their 50th anniversary on the 20/8. We have the radio on for him and endless love came on by lionel richie and diana ross, the worst song ever for emotions. She asked me who sung it, i know what she was thinking of, his funeral.
hi im bill .sorry about you dad . Lose my wife in march this year from lewy body dem only 62.yes he at the end of life stage.sorry im dislex so bare with me. Not a good time for you and mam .be strong for him . Give him love .
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
hi im bill .sorry about you dad . Lose my wife in march this year from lewy body dem only 62.yes he at the end of life stage.sorry im dislex so bare with me. Not a good time for you and mam .be strong for him . Give him love .
Thanks Bill, my Dad also has Lewy Body Dementia, together with Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia. Cruel cruel disease. I am sorry to hear of your wife, the only consolation is that she is no longer suffering, I hope it's not too long before my Dad is at rest. It's so unfair.
 

Gknee

Registered User
Jan 29, 2014
30
North of England
I just wish this suffering was over

So sorry Red. Brought my mum home from hospital a week ago for palliative care, and the inability to drink is one of the most distressing things. I have been using a mouth care pack to moisten mum's mouth and hydramol to keep her skin comfortable. Keep a watch out for oral thrush -it adds to the pain of drinking and swallowing. My kindest wishes to you of love and strength x
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
I just wish this suffering was over

So sorry Red. Brought my mum home from hospital a week ago for palliative care, and the inability to drink is one of the most distressing things. I have been using a mouth care pack to moisten mum's mouth and hydramol to keep her skin comfortable. Keep a watch out for oral thrush -it adds to the pain of drinking and swallowing. My kindest wishes to you of love and strength x
Thank you for the advice and sorry to hear you situation. May I also add that you are a marvel caring for your mum at home. Dad's tongue is crusty and extremely dry and having been gently trying to clean. So distressing. Will definitely keep an eye out for oral thrush. Thank you. X
 

Gwendy1

Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
414
Glasgow
Horrible time for you and your poor family, Red. I feared from your recent posts your poor dad was failing rapidly. :-( I'm thinking about you. You've been so strong and so focused on what's best for your dad- I wish you the strength you'll need at this time. X❤


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Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Thank you for your posts. Just come from seeing dad and they are waiting for another doctor to strip him of his meds. The nurse said they won't actually start end of life meds as he looks comfortable. Only give them when he becomes agitated. Although they may give hyoscine to dry up the secretions which will no doubt dehydrate him more. Just rubbish all this.
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,762
South coast of England
I am sorry that you are all going through this. Watching someone you love fading away is a particular torture in itself. I do hope that your dad is free from pain and distress and that his final journey is gentle.
 

Gwendy1

Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
414
Glasgow
Try not to stress the medical decisions that are going on. You are involved, and you are making sure your dad is comfortable and getting the care he absolutely deserves. I know it's hard, but try to just focus on this time with him. Your time with him. I can't remember all the discussions,debates and stresses I had with nurses and doctors now that I had in the weeks before my mum passed away.. But I can clearly remember the time I spent, just me and her. Two years ago, I remember it like yesterday. I'm sorry, this is not much help. Sending a big hug. ❤️X


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kerryfw

Registered User
May 10, 2016
6
My heart goes out to you. My Dad is in exactly the same position chocking on his saliva. He hasn't eaten or drank for 5 days now and is on a syringe drive. I pray that they will both pass quickly and not suffer. Sending you strength and love xx


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Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
My heart goes out to you. My Dad is in exactly the same position chocking on his saliva. He hasn't eaten or drank for 5 days now and is on a syringe drive. I pray that they will both pass quickly and not suffer. Sending you strength and love xx


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Hi kerryfw, my dad is 8 days now without food but is taking the odd spoon of fluid. I hate saying this but I kind of wish he wasn't as it would end the suffering for him. I also pray for you father to pass quickly. I keep trying to make myself busy, but then it just hits me again and I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. No doubt you feel exactly the same. My Dad has yet to be given end of life meds, although one night he did have midazolam as he was so agitated. He does seem settled at the moment, but his eyes look heartbroken, like he has been let down and there is nothing I can do to help. Holding your virtual hand and hopefully we find the strength from somewhere inside to be strong and support our families. Take care xxx
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,942
North East England
To Red and Kerrie and all the others who are going through the final stages with their loved ones.....You are doing the most precious thing, you are loving them, caring for them and remembering the things that make each person special.

It is painful to watch someone suffer and to not be able to ease that suffering. Talk to them and talk around them to others, tell them you love them and that it's OK for them to leave. Listen to music, laugh, cry.... let them hear that life goes on around them as it should.
And afterwards......be glad that you could do all this and be kind to yourselves.

Thinking of you all......Maureen.x.
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
To Red and Kerrie and all the others who are going through the final stages with their loved ones.....You are doing the most precious thing, you are loving them, caring for them and remembering the things that make each person special.

It is painful to watch someone suffer and to not be able to ease that suffering. Talk to them and talk around them to others, tell them you love them and that it's OK for them to leave. Listen to music, laugh, cry.... let them hear that life goes on around them as it should.
And afterwards......be glad that you could do all this and be kind to yourselves.

Thinking of you all......Maureen.x.
Thank you Maureen for your kind words. X
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
108
How are you and your family doing Red? You must all be beyond the point of exhaustion. Try to take a little time for yourself, I know it's tough but even half an hour in the bath might recharge and de-stress you a little. You have to look after yourself before you can look after everyone else
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Hi. Update, been in twice today. By 125pm he had 75ml, I tried him myself with 2 half spoons of thickened fluid and he choked really bad. Stayed with him a while until he could clear it, it took ages and managed to settle him and he went to sleep. Also went at 8pm and by this point he had a total of 150ml so I gave another 2 half spoons but it worse than the previous time. Just couldn't get shut of it out of his throat, when he was gulping you could hear this really weird splash. Just kept coughing and bubbling, I can see the fluid getting less and less now day by day but who knows, there are so many ups and downs with this illness. Mum and I were really shocked at his hip bones, horrific, no wonder he is in pain when he is moved, he is a skeleton. Poor Dad. He was doing more staring and talking to thin air tonight , couldnt understand him though which is a shame as one time he smiled and pointed. He seemed the weakest I have seen him so far, mum and I cried alot tonight, my eyes are sore!! Sadly we can't hold his hands, he does this thing were he pulls on you and squeezes, he even does it to his own hands, it actually hurts! The dementia blanket he has is a blessing. Once we settled him tonight and he looked comfortable he started to go to sleep, I whispered in his ear 'love you Dad, love you so much' and even though his mouth was wide open the corners of his mouth broke for a split second into a smile and then it was gone. Broke my heart.