Chips everywhere

john1939

Registered User
Sep 21, 2017
200
0
Newtownabbey
Hello, I always make sure that my wife has at least one good meal per day. I am pleased if she clears her plate at dinnertime. Recently I noticed she seemed to be eating quicker and be finished before I was hardly started.
I found the reason this morning when I was sorting the laundry. Her dressing gown pockets were stuffed with food, chips, steamed vegetables and some unidentified flesh. Later I discovered chips stuffed into the toes of her shoes. Some more chips were down the toilet. The worst was yet to come.
The settee seemed to have developed an unpleasant smell of late and an investigation revealed yet more food stuffed down the gap between the cushions. More chips, more fish or chicken, not sure which. Strange thing is that I have never caught her in the act.
I have always said to my wife if she did not want the food please leave it on the plate so that I can dispose of it in a proper manner.
This of course is taken as a criticism and leads to several hours of sulking. When you think that you have seen it all a new chapter unfolds.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
What an unpleasant find, and a worry as your wife obviously isn't eating as much as you thought she was. I don't think asking her to leave things she doesn't want to eat is going to work. She was probably has no memory of hiding food, so thinks you are being mean to her. Maybe very small portions, and give her more if she wants it. I'm sure others that have come across this will be along soon with their experiences of dealing with this.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,620
0
Hi @john1939 If your wife is mobile enough would eating at the table help or if the weather is nice enough at a table in a shady spot of the garden. I can't think of anything else and there is probably no reason for this other than just a new behaviour.

Maybe provide a second plate/bowl for what she doesn't want to eat, say it's for the birds or something similar but then she may put everything on there.

Sorry not a lot of help.
 

Mr.A

Registered User
Jun 5, 2021
73
0
Hello, I always make sure that my wife has at least one good meal per day. I am pleased if she clears her plate at dinnertime. Recently I noticed she seemed to be eating quicker and be finished before I was hardly started.
I found the reason this morning when I was sorting the laundry. Her dressing gown pockets were stuffed with food, chips, steamed vegetables and some unidentified flesh. Later I discovered chips stuffed into the toes of her shoes. Some more chips were down the toilet. The worst was yet to come.
The settee seemed to have developed an unpleasant smell of late and an investigation revealed yet more food stuffed down the gap between the cushions. More chips, more fish or chicken, not sure which. Strange thing is that I have never caught her in the act.
I have always said to my wife if she did not want the food please leave it on the plate so that I can dispose of it in a proper manner.
This of course is taken as a criticism and leads to several hours of sulking. When you think that you have seen it all a new chapter unfolds.
Just a quickie. Try sharing a meal.
 

brambles

Registered User
Sep 22, 2014
257
0
NW England
My mum lives in a carehome and I believe eats well, but every time I visit her she has half eaten sandwiches and fruit in her handbag wrapped up in serviettes.
I think she doesn't want anything to go to waste..... so saves it with the idea of eating it later.... then forgets about it.
I also think that she was brought up (as was I) not to leave anything on your plate ....... so, rather than appear rude she takes her leftovers with her.
Luckily this hasn't involved chips.......yet!
 

Jessy82

Registered User
Mar 15, 2021
122
0
My mum hides food everywhere, now that I'm living with her i can keep it in check. Usually stuffed down the chair in handbags down her bra or pants. When I moved in and gave everywhere a good clean I found food thrown on top of the wardrobe, under the mattress . The top of the kitchen cupboards were overflowing with teabags were she had threw them when used. She also had no concept of putting anything in the bin, rubbish was also hidden all over the house
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,259
0
High Peak
My mum hides food everywhere, now that I'm living with her i can keep it in check. Usually stuffed down the chair in handbags down her bra or pants. When I moved in and gave everywhere a good clean I found food thrown on top of the wardrobe, under the mattress . The top of the kitchen cupboards were overflowing with teabags were she had threw them when used. She also had no concept of putting anything in the bin, rubbish was also hidden all over the house
OMG how lovely (not).

I have to say though, tossing the tea bags on top of the cupboard sounds like fun... :eek:;)
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
6,116
0
south-east London
Hi @john1939, you sound like a fantastic and caring support for your wife :)

I wonder if this particular issue might be solved by giving a smaller main meal?

When my husband was alive I used to take him to a lunch group for people with dementia and their carers. My husband had a very healthy appetite so this was never an issue for him but several others, especially the ladies, would become quite overwhelmed by the size of the meals put in front of them and give up before they had even started. This became even more problematic for those who had lived through a time of food shortages because they carried extreme guilt at the thought of wasting food or upsetting the person who had gone to the trouble of cooking it. Instead of enjoying a nice, relaxing meal out, for some the event became quite stressful. There were several occasions where food was put into a handbag to take home and eat later - rather than explain why it hadn't been eaten.

Presentation can help in these matters. I know one elderly lady who swears a meal is too much for her when served up on one plate but will eat it without batting an eyelid if it is served up on a slightly bigger plate - because the amount of food looks so much smaller on it.

It might be worth considering what your wife's own experiences were with food when growing up. Hiding food is a memory that goes back to my own childhood. My mother loved to feed her family and did so with great love but often the amounts were too much. She would often say 'eat what you can' but then the annoyed expression on her face when a less than empty plate was handed back was something else.

The guilt I would feel at not completely finishing a meal and the desire to keep my mother happy by not leaving anything on the plate after all her hard work (she would be quite hurt if anything was left) meant that I also took to secreting food away from the plate to dispose of later.

On one occasion, having no place to hide what I couldn't eat, I carefully dropped a potato behind the settee I was sitting on - with the aim of disposing of it later. Of course, kids being kids and easily distracted, I forgot all about it when something more fun came along. A few days later there was all hell to pay when the potato was found - not so much because I hadn't finished my meal - but because she felt insulted that I'd assumed she would never clean behind the settee and find it! :)

I notice that you say you are pleased when your wife finishes a meal, and quite right too - I was always delighted when my husband finished his. However, if your wife realises how pleased you are if she finishes a meal I wonder if part of her food hiding is down to wanting to please you after you've going to the lovely effort of cooking her something?

Food consumption and general nutrition can be a tricky area to negotiate but I hope that some of the ideas put forward by others on this thread will help you find a workable solution.
 
Last edited:

fromnz123

Registered User
Aug 2, 2019
201
0
UK
When my mum was in hospital the nurses were very pleased with my mum drinking her tea, until they realised that there was a ‘stream’ of tea coming from under mum’s bed!
 

john1939

Registered User
Sep 21, 2017
200
0
Newtownabbey
Hi @john1939, you sound like a fantastic and caring support for your wife :)

I wonder if this particular issue might be solved by giving a smaller main meal?

When my husband was alive I used to take him to a lunch group for people with dementia and their carers. My husband had a very healthy appetite so this was never an issue for him but several others, especially the ladies, would become quite overwhelmed by the size of the meals put in front of them and give up before they had even started. This became even more problematic for those who had lived through a time of food shortages because they carried extreme guilt at the thought of wasting food or upsetting the person who had gone to the trouble of cooking it. Instead of enjoying a nice, relaxing meal out, for some the event became quite stressful. There were several occasions where food was put into a handbag to take home and eat later - rather than explain why it hadn't been eaten.

Presentation can help in these matters. I know one elderly lady who swears a meal is too much for her when served up on one plate but will eat it without batting an eyelid if it is served up on a slightly bigger plate - because the amount of food looks so much smaller on it.

It might be worth considering what your wife's own experiences were with food when growing up. Hiding food is a memory that goes back to my own childhood. My mother loved to feed her family and did so with great love but often the amounts were too much. She would often say 'eat what you can' but then the annoyed expression on her face when a less than empty plate was handed back was something else.

The guilt I would feel at not completely finishing a meal and the desire to keep my mother happy by not leaving anything on the plate after all her hard work (she would be quite hurt if anything was left) meant that I also took to secreting food away from the plate to dispose of later.

On one occasion, having no place to hide what I couldn't eat, I carefully dropped a potato behind the settee I was sitting on - with the aim of disposing of it later. Of course, kids being kids and easily distracted, I forgot all about it when something more fun came along. A few days later there was all hell to pay when the potato was found - not so much because I hadn't finished my meal - but because she felt insulted that I'd assumed she would never clean behind the settee and find it! :)

I notice that you say you are pleased when your wife finishes a meal, and quite right too - I was always delighted when my husband finished his. However, if your wife realises how pleased you are if she finishes a meal I wonder if part of her food hiding is down to wanting to please you after you've going to the lovely effort of cooking her something?

Food consumption and general nutrition can be a tricky area to negotiate but I hope that some of the ideas put forward by others on this thread will help you find a workable solution.
Thanks everyone for your replies.