Children should be forced to care for parents and grandparents

Discussion in 'Dementia-related news and campaigns' started by Charlyparly, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. Charlyparly

    Charlyparly Registered User

    Nov 26, 2006
    221
    Lancashire
  2. Heather777

    Heather777 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2008
    267
    Bristol
    Well what can you really say to any of this? Having cared for both my parents and not always willingly I would NEVER ask my daughter to have to do things for me that I have done for them.

    We will have to end up having children to secure our care for when we are older, what if we chose not to have children, are children have their own needs etc.

    In an ideal world children would be supported to care, proper access to services , respite, financial support, good understanding of the whole process etc.

    Heather
     
  3. dillydaydream

    dillydaydream Registered User

    Sep 30, 2009
    75
    Buckinghamshire
    What if "home" becomes unknown?

    I'm starting to lose patience every time I read somebody pontificating on how a dementia patient is so much happier in their familiar surroundings. Do they not understand that, for some, "home" is no longer familiar? it is a place from which they want to escape. They do not recognise the space, furniture, fittings, photographs and, eventually, the person who is looking after them. Mum is still with me after nine years but is increasingly anxious to get back to her real daughter (me) and an imaginary son. Every door leading to every room is rediscovered every hour - even where to sit is, for her, a dilemma.

    I can understand the principal of the need to care for our loved ones but surely one can't legislate for how much we should care or are able to care. Does anybody feel like digging up any other ancient laws - how about being shipped to Australia for stealing a loaf of bread!

    Carolyn x
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    What a dreadful idea! I can't imagine anything worse than being cared for by someone who is 'forced to care'.
     
  5. Padraig

    Padraig Registered User

    Dec 10, 2009
    1,039
    Hereford
    Different worlds

    The best thing about the article is the wonderful cartoon.
    What I find the most interesting about this woman's statements is that it reflects my sentiments as expressed in the first chapter of my book; 'The Battery Children.'
    "It should therefore come as no surprise that their mind-set towards 'unfortunate' children, was to do as I have done, say as I have said, think as I do, read what I have read. Follow your leader, it was a perpetual example."

    Someone should should point out to her that the world has moved on and fewer people have nannies these days.
     
  6. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    I personally find it fascinating that this should come from the woman who chaired the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Association for several years. But then I am an old cynic. :rolleyes:

    She certainly doesn’t shy away from the controversial does she? :)

    Karen, x
     
  7. ElaineMaul

    ElaineMaul Registered User

    Jan 29, 2005
    333
    You know ..... I haven't even read it yet, but just seeing it's the Daily Mail ..... do I really want to? :rolleyes:

    Elaine
     
  8. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Preposterous
    .
    'Okay. I'll go and tidy my room. But you'll regret this
    - in 40 years' time be afraid. Be very afraid!'
     

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  9. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,336
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you

    Thank you Lynn, thats so funny, you have cheered me up on a very shaky day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    There are lots of people who do not want children so who will look after them?

    I did not have children to look after me when I am old.

    Nor would I like to put my children and grandchildren through what we have experienced in AD/Dementia.

    Christine
     
  11. Jaye

    Jaye Registered User

    May 13, 2009
    40
    Do you suppose that Baroness Deech ever experienced the joys of spending her teenage years sharing a bedroom with granny or great aunt? Perhaps she had to sleep in the garden shed because her family ran out of rooms altogether when the older generation could no longer live alone?
     
  12. Cjay

    Cjay Registered User

    Jan 26, 2010
    122
    durham
    In an ideal world the grass would always be green, there would be no illness, and no more wars. This is not an ideal world, we all deal with our lives, and living as individuals, what is right for one person doesn't make it right for another. So with what authority and arrogance does this woman think she has the right to make such a statement? Does she not realise that the decision for many to place their loved one's in residential care comes at a cost? and I don't mean financial cost. I mean the waking up in the night worrying, crying because you are not able to cope anymore, hoping that you've made the right decision, the guilt that engulfs you cost.
    Does she not think that the advice doesn't just come from the families, in most cases there is a multi agency input, advising that this is the best solution for the persons concerned.
    What if the relationships are fragile, who is most at risk?
    The baroness needs to speak to carers and their families, before she gives us the benefit of her wisdom!!
    Cjay :(
     
  13. ChristineR62

    ChristineR62 Registered User

    Oct 12, 2009
    1,111
    NW England
    Might I suggest that the orifice the Baroness is speaking out of is not located on her face ... :p
     
  14. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    I think I would either commit homicide or suicide if forced to live with my mum again, we almost killed each other first time round and I ran away from home several times and moved out as soon as I could.

    I tell you what, let's send her one parent a day to look after and see how many days she lasts...
     
  15. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    I read this somewhere.
    Norman
    Just remember folks "Look after your kids,they are the ones that will put you in an home"
     
  16. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    who does she think she is. id love her to come here for a day and look after mum it would certainly open her eyes.Dont she realise it is mostly not our choice to put our loved ones into care homes.

    love that cartoon it made me smile,
     
  17. ElaineMaul

    ElaineMaul Registered User

    Jan 29, 2005
    333
    Perhaps we should email the link to this thread to the Daily Mail and ask them to forward it onto her

    ..... see if she cares to respond :rolleyes:

    Elaine
     
  18. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006
    1,847
    Bristol
    Slight problem

    some of us have disabled children who could not look after us anyway.
     

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