1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Changing Pants and Socks

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Rach1985, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. pipd

    pipd Registered User

    Apr 12, 2015
    77
    Leigh on Sea Essex
    I love how creative we all have to become as carers, it is so difficult to persuade anyone with dementia about anything. My dad (although he didn't have dementia) would wear the same clothes and underwear for weeks on end and as my mum had dementia she just didn't notice. When I became the carer for both of them I was constantly finding ways to 'steal' their dirty washing to take home to launder for them. After my mum passed away I used to sneak into my dad's room knowing he slept naked and just whisk away his whole set of clothing and replace with clean before he even woke up. Thankfully he was very deaf and never heard me arrive.
     
  2. Elisabeth71

    Elisabeth71 New member

    Jul 19, 2019
    4
    I’m new to all this, my mother has just moved in with me as she no longer can cope at home. I have no idea how to get her to get washed and dressed without causing an argument or upsetting her. For five days she sat in her nighty. Her argument was I’m not going out. I have tried running basins of water, placing clothes on bed....today she put on the clothes I laid out for her but didn’t wash...advice please....
     
  3. silkiest

    silkiest Registered User

    Feb 9, 2017
    67
    I wouldn't throw the trousers in his dustbin, he may notice . My MIL had 2 pairs of shoes that were 'really comfortable' because they had splits either side and she kept walking out of them. They were retrieved by her from the dustbin more than once so I had to sneak them out when she wasn't looking and put in the dustbin at home. Good luck
     
  4. silkiest

    silkiest Registered User

    Feb 9, 2017
    67
    Elisabeth did your mum have a routine for wash days, bath days etc. My MIL always had a bath either Friday night or Saturday morning ( once a week was the norm in her youth) so I can often remind her of the day, get the shower ready and she will go in with some encouragement. I tend to rely a lot on her old memories of her routines as a child/ young woman.
     
  5. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    398
    Oh yes I’ve already learnt that lesson with some teaspoons. Got a nice new set of cutlery and so threw all the old ones in the kitchen bin. A week or so later I went in his bedside table for something and found only the teaspoons all in there. I wonder why the teaspoons? Anyway I threw them away again in the big outdoor bin and covered them up, he has never said anything
     
  6. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    398
    I think that is what my dad has gone back to as well. He now tends to shower only on a Sunday afternoon, which is when as a child he used to have his bath. Still having a job to get him to change his underwear every day so I’m currently in the process of buying all the same ones
     
  7. Elisabeth71

    Elisabeth71 New member

    Jul 19, 2019
    4
    I know in her youth there wasn’t a bathroom in the house, and bath was a tin bath in front of the far. So maybe your right. I will try and use some of those memories to ascertain the day they use to wash. Thank you for your help, I’ll give it ago.
     
  8. Rob_E

    Rob_E Registered User

    Feb 1, 2015
    166
    Male
    Liverpool
    Very similar problem with mum. Once very fastidious, then stopped changing her clothes and having washes and baths. It seemed to happen quite suddenly a few years ago. I noticed that there was never any of her washing in the basket. I tried confronting her and of course got no where, as she insisted that she changed her clothes regularly and in her mind, she probably does believe that. One day there was a vest hanging on the washing line (for airing) that should have been white but was a dirty yellow/brown, god knows how long she had been wearing it, that went in the bin.

    Then I tried running a bath and putting out fresh clothes, that worked for around 6 months, until she starting putting the fresh clothes away and putting on the worn clothes again. Now the carers look after that side of things which is a great relief. I always felt very uncomfortable about looking after mums personal hygiene as her son.
     
  9. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    398
    @Rob_E that’s the same with my Dad, how quick and sudden it has been. Not a gradual decline, and it coincided with the really hot weather which just makes it more confusing. I know I can’t try and make sense of it
     
  10. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    182
    channel islands
    I have a sneaky feeling the MIL has stopped showering - so she is out today and I've "arranged" some of her shower stuff and photographed it so I will know when I check next Saturday (when she goes out again!) I have a feeling she is not sure on how to use the shower anymore and also I dont think she is using steradent for her false teeth. As she lives in an annex its hard to tell as she is always up and dressed before she comes to see us and locks the door to the annex at night (we have spare keys to the bedroom door for emergencies which she does not know about). Like one of the posts on here said, we as carers do become quite ingenious and "sneaky" but needs must!
     
  11. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    398
    Yes my Dad hasn’t pretty much stopped cleaning his teeth. He was always a toothbrush chewer an needed a new one more often than the rest of us. Now his toothbrush is more pristine than mine. I have no idea how to get him to do this
     
  12. Elisabeth71

    Elisabeth71 New member

    Jul 19, 2019
    4
    My mother’s behaviour has been on the decline since the hot weather(leaving the house in her underwear to go to church) I think she might of been dehydrated...as when she moved in and I have been making her drinks and food her behaviour has improved.
     
  13. Rob_E

    Rob_E Registered User

    Feb 1, 2015
    166
    Male
    Liverpool
    Dehydration can affect anyone's cognitive performance but as is often the case where dementia is part of the mix, the effects are far more pronounced. Mum's confusion increased considerably last winter so the doctor ordered a blood test. The nurse who performed the test said that mum was very de-hydrated. It's easy to get caught out with things like this, while I had noticed that mum wasn't eating properly due to her no longer being able to prepare meals and took steps, it didn't really occur to me that she wasn't drinking enough. Since she has started taking more fluids and had a medication review we have noticed an improvement. It's little and often with the fluids, she won't drink a glass of water, we have to remind her to take regular sips!
     
  14. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,853
    Female
    Scotland
    My husband won’t drink a glass of water either so I bought orange barley water and added a dash of that. Now he drinks a tall glass of this slightly flavoured water every afternoon with gusto. I notice it helps to alleviate constipation which can be an issue with dehydration.
     
  15. Rob_E

    Rob_E Registered User

    Feb 1, 2015
    166
    Male
    Liverpool
    That's a good idea, it's something I keep meaning to try with mum, I guess it comes down to the liking for sweet foods/drinks that comes with dementia. She also seems to prefer drinking from a bottle to a glass these days.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.