I have a 91 year old friend Pat who was diagnosed with Alzheimers over 3 years ago. Since then I have spent 2 long days each week helping her with shopping, laundry etc and taking her to the communal lounge for a couple of hours to chat to any one in there. and she has two carers coming in daily. Pat lives alone in her own independent living flat. this is very secure although she thinks someone gets in. Pat has no family except in Ireland, One really lovely Niece there calls her daily and visits four times a year. Other friends call regularly and Pat's P. of Attorney Dan visits every Monday to take her out in his car and on to a nice lunch. he calls too during week. Pat also has one other really nice neighbour on her small landing (85 years old) and walks in and out to this neighbour whenever she wants to. Another neighbour often has her to Sunday lunch and also takes Pat out for a walk during the week. On the 5 days I cannot be there I call her four times a day.(I have known her for 40 years and she has spent a lot of time with my family) Pat has the Wiltshire Farm meals except when taken to lunch with Dan and I cook fresh meals on my two days. Everything to her is rubbish. We get the usual everything is missing and I search and find whatever it is, we get the no one cares etc. the carers do nothing, and obviously with the Alzheimers we get the forgetting anything over half an hour. However things are now getting much worse. Pat will not hear of going into a care home, she has the means to afford the best which is nearby. she has also been very frugal with money and is worse now. On the phone I have been getting lots of loud sobbing and suicide threats such as throwing herself under a bus, overdose, knife, , this interfered with my sleeping until I realised that it was not real crying as there were never any tears. We do not leave any medication around. What I cannot understand is that a few tomes when I have had this terrible depressive mood and loud sobbing on the phone I will say I have to go but will call back a little later then I will quickly ring Dan and get him to call her and he will call back a few mins later to say that she sounds fine and fairly buoyant. When with Dan she will tell him that she often gets a bit fed up that's all. He never repeats that I tell him she talks to me threatening suicide. The neighbour gets it all day too, yet when the neighbours son visits Pat will act differently while he is there. . A couple of Pat's women friends who call have the same as me with Pat and she is terribly rude to the two carers. refuses to wash. insults them, but I have noticed that she can be really stressed but when I take her out she acts different with any neighbours she meets in the lounge, it is as if she can turn on and off so easily. same with Doctor or Social Worker. Is this very normal, does anyone know if a person who is well into the middle stages can be so convincing and choose exactly what people they tell what to. It is so difficult to explain everything in detail but I would be so grateful if anyone can enlighten me with their experience of any of the above. Many Thanks.