Last April I put my mother on a list for a shared room in her nursing home. I was offered one a couple of months ago, which I declined, as her roommate would have been an agitated schizophrenic and I honestly wouldn't have wanted to listen to the fallout from my aunt rabbiting on about how horrible the roommate was.
Now I've been offered a room back on her former unit. I'm thrilled - one of the nurses on that unit is an absolutely wonderful woman, so good with all the residents. Plus, it will definitely make a financial difference. My mother has several sources of income, but one is going to run out in less than a year. This will help keep things on an even keel.
But I feel guilty. Even though Mum is past all communication, she no longer speaks except for the odd word or repeating what someone has said, I feel badly. She's no longer aggressive as she was.
I will get over this but I know I'll feel guilty for a while. My sister is backing me 100%, as is my husband.
On an unrelated note, my stepfather died Monday. He was in a nursing home in BC for the last year. His son says his decline started when I had to move my mother to Ontario but we couldn't do anything about that. At the time, my stepfather was totally mentally and physically exhausted by my mother. She was physically and verbally attacking him, she spat on him, he had no choice but to let go.
I guess it's just another thing gone. So it's a sad day.
Now I've been offered a room back on her former unit. I'm thrilled - one of the nurses on that unit is an absolutely wonderful woman, so good with all the residents. Plus, it will definitely make a financial difference. My mother has several sources of income, but one is going to run out in less than a year. This will help keep things on an even keel.
But I feel guilty. Even though Mum is past all communication, she no longer speaks except for the odd word or repeating what someone has said, I feel badly. She's no longer aggressive as she was.
I will get over this but I know I'll feel guilty for a while. My sister is backing me 100%, as is my husband.
On an unrelated note, my stepfather died Monday. He was in a nursing home in BC for the last year. His son says his decline started when I had to move my mother to Ontario but we couldn't do anything about that. At the time, my stepfather was totally mentally and physically exhausted by my mother. She was physically and verbally attacking him, she spat on him, he had no choice but to let go.
I guess it's just another thing gone. So it's a sad day.