CH can mum stay in bed?

[Timeout]

The expected decline in mum is still ongoing, she's been in the CH a few years now and is now I would say a late stage 6 / early 7. She's doubly incontinent, her speech is starting to break down and she is losing interest in food / drinks.

Lately she has become more tired, not wanting to engage with the goings on in the CH and preferring to stay in bed. The CH staff try to get her up in the mornings but she resists but the staff keep trying and by early afternoon she is reluctantly up. She is increasingly unsteady on her feet and has had a few falls because of this. I have said that I'm happy to let her stay in bed as much as she wants but the CH staff say this is not good for her and will only hasten her difficulty in remaining mobile.

I can see what they are saying but this disease will inevitably make her bedridden at some point and I believe she should be allowed to stay in bed if thats what she wants. I do think that they prefer the patients to be up as its easier to keep an eye on them in a communal lounge plus I guess their personal care is easier if they are somewhat mobile - I suppose my question is could she stay in bed if she wanted to? (its an EMI home so surely they have some patients who are bedridden) or is it better to keep getting them up daily against their wishes.

 

[Grannie G]

It`s a circulation thing as well as keeping as many residents as possible in one room for easier supervision, Timeout.

My husband was immobile and incontinent but he was hoisted every day to and from the sitting room and too and from the toilet. Sitting up was better for him than lying down and even though he often slept in the chair he was interested in the comings and goings so had a bit of life.

 

[Essie]

I do see your point Timeout, not wanting your Mum to be 'manhandled' around when she'd choose to just stay quietly in bed but as Grannie G says it is important to maintain even the smallest amount of mobility as it really does benefit the circulation (not just blood but lymph too which is so important for staying as healthy as is possible) also for her skin health as staying in bed will increase the likelihood of ulcers as will losing the ability to move.

So there are many sound reasons for what they're doing - if you really think Mum is suffering because of it then speak to the nurses/manager but do think carefully about the costs as well as the benefits to your Mum if they do agree to her simply remaining bedridden.

 

[Witzend]

I may be in a minority of one here, but by the time someone is both late stage and very elderly, then I can't see why they shouldn't stay in bed if that's where they're most comfortable. Yes, I do absolutely understand that it's better for their health to be up, but at this stage of the disease I do wonder whether all this trying to keep them 'healthy' so they can live with this horrible disease a bit longer, is necessarily in their best interests, particularly if they are being badgered to get up when they clearly don't want to.

If my mother became very reluctant to get up then I would tell the CH, for heaven's sake leave her in peace, but then she is 96 and has had advanced AD for some time now. She often looks less than comfortable in her armchair, with her head slumped forward, nearly always either asleep or dozing, or awake but with her eyes closed.

I dare say many others will probably think I am wrong, but that is how I feel.

 

[Essie]

No I don't think you are Witzend, I do agree completely with what you've said and I wouldn't dissuade anyone from pursuing that track if they felt it was the best thing for their LO - The point I was trying to make was that it may not just be for 'ease of care' that the NH are doing this, there are valid health reasons behind it but, as with anything really you have to balance the positives and negatives and just make the best choice you can but I do feel for you and all those in this position as the decline is bad enough to witness and the feeling of just wanting to let your LO 'be' and not be 'bothered' any more than is necessary is so strong, and indeed sometimes, quite right. There is never an 'easy bit' of dealing with any of this.

 

[lin1]

No I don't think you are wrong either .
When my mum was in late stages she was happier in bed, distressed whilst in a chair, so I let mum stay where she was happier ,I used to get mum up to walk to the loo several times a day.

Pressure sores can be a problem

 

[Timeout]

Thank you, reading back over my post it may have sounded like I was being uncaring about mums long term health but I do believe that after 8 years of this dreadful disease she isn't going to get better so I think I'd prefer to see her left in bed if that what she prefers. Even if it hastens her decline over all (it would be a blessing I think)

 

[Witzend]

Thank you, reading back over my post it may have sounded like I was being uncaring about mums long term health but I do believe that after 8 years of this dreadful disease she isn't going to get better so I think I'd prefer to see her left in bed if that what she prefers. Even if it hastens her decline over all (it would be a blessing I think)

It didn't sound at all uncaring to me. Rather the reverse.

 

[Essie]

Agree completely Witzend. You came on here Timeout, to ask a question and get advice and help for the wellbeing of your Mum - not a shred of uncaring in that. And you don't want her suffering prolonged - well who would, either for themselves or their LO, again, nothing whatsoever that's uncaring in that.

Wishing you and your Mum all the best.