Celebrate the positive!!


Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Having 'stumbled' across this website on a search for info about dementia, I was amazed to see such a wonderful support for carers. I have cared for my father for the last 5 years, since his diagnosis with vascular dementia, and it has been the most distressing and isolating experience. And of course things dont get any better!! Despite the wonders of modern medicine suffering the illness is still a dangerous voyage into the unknown. I thought I had got better at dealing with the situation, managing family and work commitments and my dad,then along comes another serious decline and I am knocked sideways with stress and worry. I am OK now and have focused on the practical and back on track. I have found some of the posts most reassuring and supportive when they try to see the positive and celebrate it! and deal with the negative and accept it. I especially like the 'loose leaf folder' philosophy of Connie and Lionel, my father, if he could, would definately agree as he always saw the positive side to things!!


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hello hendy, and warm welcome to TP.

Love the title of your first post "Celebrate the Positive", and it is good to look to the positive in any situation.

However this is a site where we can all be ourselves. Where we can pose questions, give advice, laugh or cry together.

It is the 'together' that counts. Sorry you had to find us, but now that you are here I hope you join in the threads, as they develope.

Take care now,


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear hendy,
Welcome to Talking Point.
Within no time at all you will soon find yourself surrounded by so many friends. We are all in this together and sharing experiences with each other is a positive thing.

Best wishes

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Hendy.

I too `stumbled ` on this web site and have never looked back.

It`s a shame you didn`t find it sooner, you would have felt far less isolated and alone. But better late than never and I`m sure you`ll identify with so many of us as we will with you.

Take care xx


Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Thanks for posting the link Grannie G! I expectI will get better at posting and navigating eventually.

I would just like to add a little anecdote to my first post. Dad's most recent decline has been very serious, he is ultra sensitive to anti-psychotic meds and side effects are life threatening for him. He has multiple problems, dementia just being one( if that isnt enough)His behaviour has deteriorated and, on occasions, he has become aggressive to patients and staff -quite horrific- can't describe how I feel about this- and cant be treated..He is being sent to a specialist emi unit in another hosp with extra high staffing ratio All I can say is that things are really bad. ... Never the less trying to converse with my dad is challenging but in and amongst the ramblings he will occasionally comment briefly, with the greatest clarity, yesterday he asked as plain as day - "I could really do with a glass of cold beer" Unfortunately, I could only pour him an orange juice - but I think I will smuggle in a cold can of larger next time!! What should I do??!
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Registered User
Jan 29, 2008
Ashford, Kent
Hi Hendy

Welcome to TP.

You'll find a lot of help/support and advice here. Sometimes, it's good to just come and get it all off your chest so to speak.

Beverley x


Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
Patients on Ken's ward had a glass (or two) of beer at Chestimas. They are all on very strong drugs but I don't suppose the small amount which is drunk causes problems. xxTinaT


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Hendy, and welcome.

My husband John's in an EMI unit, and he beer, sherry and whisky were on offer at Christmas and Burns Night. I was told I could give John alcohol if he wanted it.

But I'd check with the medics, to make sure that it's not contra-indicated by his meds.

My view is, if it's not going to do any harm, then give them what they want


Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Many thanks for all your welcoming messages. I seem to be writing too much!! I could write a book about the last 5 years...
and with more to come. My dad is definately a survivor - despite all the odds. I dont know how much more I will have to cope with.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Dear Hendy,

Welcome to TP! You will find so much help and support here - we all do. One of the best things is that everyone is at different stages and each person with dementia is so different (altho' there are similarities). It means that at some point, just about EVERYTHING has been experienced by SOMEONE on the forum! This is so helpful if you are puzzling over what to do, how to cope, or where to go for help.

No-one can solve our problems for us, but TP support is invaluable. Please feel welcome to post whenever you wish -that is what the forum is for!
Every best wish in continuing to cope with what sounds like a very complex and difficult situation with your Dad.