1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    Hi to everyone,
    I haven't been on in awhile and felt the need to catch up this morning. My Dad died in August from a massive stroke and my Mom continues to decline in the nursing home. We almost lost her in April from pneumonia but she astonished everyone by recovering and has had many cheerful months in the NH. She is in the same dimentia unit and gets excellent care. I go to see her three times a week as it is a 40 mile round trip. She still knows my husband and me which is nothing short of a miracle.
    Lately she has been slipping downhill rapidly. She says things like, she is tired of this and that she just doesn't care. Since she rarely completes any full sentence it is very profound for her to voice such things. Also, even when she was so ill, she still had joy, but that is gone. I am having difficulty letting go and wonder if my clinging keeps her here. I know she is getting ready and I am just trying to let go, it's so hard but I do not wish her here this way and she deserves to go on.
    It has been a heck of a year with both parents illnesses and my Dad passing.
    So here's hoping th 2008 will have more sunshine and better memories for us all.
    Take care,

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Hi Rummy
    Good to hear from you again but so sorry to hear of your loss.
    I am not surprised you are finding it hard to let go of your mum so soon after your dad, all I can say is that I am sure you will know when the time has come to let go, so I wish you all the best and will be thinking of you in the coming weeks.
    God bless
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Rummy, it`s good to hear from you.

    I`m so sorry about your father. I expect you had geared yourself to believe you would lose your mother first.

    It does sound as if your mother has had enough. You are doing all you can to help her even though you are finding it so difficult.

    I hope you get the strength from somewhere to help you through such a painful period.

    Love xx
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Rummy, good to hear from you again.

    I'm sorry to hear what a bad year you've had. Your dad's death must have been a severe blow, and now to have your mom gradually slipping away from you must be so hard.

    I wish you the strength to bear it all. Please keep in touch.

  5. clarethebear

    clarethebear Registered User

    Oct 16, 2007
    manchester, uk
    Hi Rummy

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. And I am so sorry to hear of your mum's decline. I know it is hard to let go, but when the time comes I hope you find the strength to help you through.

    My thoughts are with you at this time.

    Take Care of yourself.
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Nice surprise to see on TP, but always lovely to see that you've pop in . sorry to read that your father passing away xx
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    It is good to 'see' you here again but so sorry about your Dad. I am even more sorry to learn of your Mum's state of health - how distressing all this must be for you. Hold on there - I just hope when the end comes for your Mum she passes peacefully -

    Keep in touch Jan
  8. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    Thank you all for your kind words. It is always nice to know I can come to TP and find that shoulder to cry on.
    I got a call from the hospice nurse this afternoon and was told that my Mom's oxygen saturation is only 81% and there is no upper respitory problems so they are saying she isn't taking deep breaths and her body just isn't processing what air she is getting. She said that this is something they typically see at end of life but added it could still go on for some time.
    My Mom told her today that she is tired and wants to go home. Not her house, but home. She has said several things lately that led us to think she is ready to go.
    I will keep you posted and we can only wish for this to be peaceful and not a long painful ordeal for her. God Bless all.
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    shall keep you both in my prays

    God bless you both also [[hugs]]]
  10. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Dear Rummy,
    So sorry at your loss and that mum is deteriorating.sorry.i'm in tears now,theres so much i could say about your mums SATS and the fact that there is no respiritory problem,i am qualified to give a view,but not on TP.

    love elainex
  11. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Rummy,

    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I also hope that if your mum is ready to go her ending will be peaceful, and without needless suffering. I wish you better times ahead.

    Regards Taffy.
  12. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005

    Good to see you here. Was sorry to read your earlier post about your Dad passing on.
    Wishing you strength to bear what is to come, it's so difficult to let go. Hoping your Mum has peaceful times ahead.

    God bless
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Thinking of you xx
  14. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    I am thinking of you Debbie. x
  15. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Debbie,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

    Love and best wishes. Christine
  16. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Dear Debbie,
    Sorry to hear about your father. I hope your mother is as comfortable as possible. Thinking of you.
  17. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    Dear Debbie, what a painful time you have been going through with the loss of your dad and your mum's decline. Do look after yourself and here's wishing you the strength to get through the rest of your mum's journey as lightly as possible. Thinking of you and your mum and sending love and kindest regards, Deborah.

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