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Casualty

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,145
I always liked Duffy. Charlie is looking very old now, it's barely believable he's still working.

There have been a few 'good' dementia storylines on TV but the problem with all of them is the compressed timescale. It's always diagnosis to quick convenient death within months, whereas most of us on here know it is rarely like that. If my mother had that journey I would have considered us both very lucky, but we're more than five years on from diagnosis and two years into the care home. I realise audiences don't want to watch unending deterioration, but it always ends up sanitised.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,706
True, it is only a glimpse into the pain. Perhaps it is all the general public can take.
Someone, a retired cleric, asked after my husband last week, I said he was having a respite break but we were looking at long term.
The shadow of fear crossed his face, he looked so vulnerable.
Few face the possibility of death let alone having dementia and needing the care of a team of people. Some may feel the latter is worse.
Today on Radio 4 someone known for his exploits was asked what was the most courageous thing he had done. He said to ask for help.
If the story said anything it was that we cannot do it alone we need help.
I know I often find it hard to do so.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,717
Kent
I found some of it unrealistic, especially Duffy asking the nurse to take care of Charlie and Charlie`s unrealistic expectations the staff were not caring enough to make her better.

I felt it was well done up until now but this final episode let it down.
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,208
Duffy's dementia journey was worth more than tonight's episode; what a cop out!

(And we've never liked Charlie's wandering eyeballs!)
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,706
I did too, but I knew a sensible woman who used to say if anything happens to Mum I will not know what I will do. Her mother was well into her nineties and had been ill for many years and living in a home for more than a few. Duffy' decline was rapid, many of us see so many twists and turns we doubt our own sanity.
My husband was on top form today, anyone seeng through this window would think I had invented the problems!
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,484
Kent
I haven't watched the storyline unfold but watched last night. As I felt with a recent showing of 'Elizabeth is missing' I felt frustrated that neither that nor Casualty last night portrayed any speech problems for the stage they both seemed to be at. I would have liked to have seen inappropriate...I don't mean offensive... or incorrect choice of words to express themselves or struggling to find the right word and the frustration shown on their faces as many of us have seen with our pwd. Duffy seemed to express herself too clearly for me considering her confusion. I also felt Charlie's reaction to the care was shown in a disappointing way. Compressed storylines are always difficult to include all the facets of an illness but they could find a way to do it and make it more realistic.
 

Marnie63

Registered User
Dec 26, 2015
1,628
Hampshire
I thought the 'she's living with dementia' was a bit odd. Rather than she has dementia. Kind of made it sound to me like something a bit lesser than it is. I also thought it bizarre that Charlie, as a health professional, was talking to the other nurse over Duffy about stuff you really don't talk about over a dying person. What if they can still hear?

Having said that, it's fiction and I never watch it any more, just thought I'd tune in as I saw the previews.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,111
Nottinghamshire
I’ve not watched casualty for years but I have been following the Charlie and Duffy storyline. I’m disappointed that they chose to kill her off last night. I felt they could have made more of Charlie’s story and how he would have dealt with the changes in his wife and having to live apart from her and the gradual loss of the person etc. It was all too quick and clean
 
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MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,685
Essex
I also agree with Bunpoots and Lynne Mc Vee it was all so quick and it made it unrealistic in that sense. I would have liked Duffy to go back into the care home and they could have made some story there.

MaNaAk
 

Normaleila

Registered User
Jun 4, 2016
731
Very disappointing - except that I didn't expect much better. No struggles with social services? No attempts to get LPA? No incontinence? If they'd just sent her to a care home and never shown her again, just shown Charlie's pain, that would have been better. The organ donation and walk of respect was trying too hard to make dementia look heroic. My husband was in tears when I explained this walk does take place but some viewers might just have been left wondering whether those with dementia are allowed to donate. Perhaps that will be explained in a later episode.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,907
London
I remember being called the day after for permission to organ donation. I gave it willingly.

The "living with dementia" as opposed to "suffering from dementia" is the official expression the Alzheimer's Society and other organisations use, to express that you can still live well with dementia, at least for a while. To be honest, I always took the easiest expression and said "he has dementia".
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,070
Suffolk
Living with dementia is one thing, living well with dementia is pretty rare.

I was talking to someone yesterday and mentioned my husband had died with dementia and she had never realised that dementia can kill!

Another point to remember is that a few hours from death, not only can people hear, they understand the words and react accordingly ( a smile in OH’s case).
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,145

I was talking to someone yesterday and mentioned my husband had died with dementia and she had never realised that dementia can kill!
I think it's quite common Spamar. My friend asked me about my mother last week, and during the conversation I mentioned some of the other residents with late stage dementia. He had no idea you could die from dementia either.

Many people do think dementia is someone being a bit dotty and forgetful, and this storyline won't have done that much to disabuse them of that because Duffy conveniently died before the symptoms became too extreme. As others have said, I don't think viewers could take the reality.

The Archers dealt with it well (maybe easier, as a radio drama). For Jack Woolley it was 11 years from diagnosis to death, with several years in a care home. Towards the end we just heard his wife's reactions to having been to see him, because the actor who played Jack also developed Alzheimers.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,685
Essex
Very disappointing - except that I didn't expect much better. No struggles with social services? No attempts to get LPA? No incontinence? If they'd just sent her to a care home and never shown her again, just shown Charlie's pain, that would have been better. The organ donation and walk of respect was trying too hard to make dementia look heroic. My husband was in tears when I explained this walk does take place but some viewers might just have been left wondering whether those with dementia are allowed to donate. Perhaps that will be explained in a later episode.
Dear Normaleila,

This is another point. In my opinion it didn't really show much of Charlie dealing with the agency carers and social services. Eventually Charlie could have ended up trying to get CHC. At least it was better than EastEnders.

MaNaAk
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
I agree @Bunpoots - I feel it was an opportunity lost.
What a total cop out of the whole dementia issues experienced by so many!
it was almost “Disney- fied “ & as for the stroke issues.... obviously researching the reality of dementia & stroke was beyond the researchers capabilities.
It was annoying as a missed opportunity to enlighten ; an opportunity the BBC don’t miss when it comes to grittier topics & less savoury subject matter. Hey ho - it reminds me why I don’t watch soaps & the like.
Back to the radio for my entertainment!!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,685
Essex
I have given more thought to Casualty's storyline compared with dad's. Dad's symptoms really started showing in 2015 although he felt his memory was getting worse earlier. I had an up-hill struggle to get him to the doctors and in early 2016 he was diagnosed with mild on-set Alzheimers. In 2017 his Alzheimers became moderate and we had carers for the first time. Durin this year he started to get up and wander about in the night and by the end of the year he had several falls and wandered out of the house at 4.00 am. In 2018 his Alzheimers became severe and he became aggressive towards the carers resulting in me consulting another agency and care homes for respite. More falls, another escape and and a couple of episodes. Dad was diagnosed with severe Alzheimers and his other health issues had increased. Dad started at a day centre which couldn't handle him and he went to a local care home for respite.

When he came out he started back with the new agency and this didn't work out due to his aggression and them sending us a male carer instead of a female carer ( he didn't like male carers at the time!). I sent him back to the care home for one day a week and eventually after another fall he had to go back to the care home permanently. He spent almost a year at the care home and when he first went in I thought his memory seemed better. He had 24/7 company and care and plenty of activities and he was well stimulated. His dementia progressed even further at the beginning of 2019 and he was put on memantine. In June of that year he passed away after a haemorrhagic stroke now Duffy was diagnosed in January last year!

MaNaAk
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
72
Ilford, Essex
Everyone is different. I have not seen this storyline, but understand that Duffy was diagnosed with vascular dementia? My sister-in-law was diagnosed with VD in May 2018 and died in September of that year, having had multiple mini strokes (TIAs).
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,685
Essex
Of course everyone is different. I had a few dealings with the social services and Charlie had one or two!

MaNaAk