Sheesh, can all of you just stop for a moment. This whole thing is out of context and you are lambasting worriedson for situations that didn't arise as you think. Let me try and help explain the context...
1. The trip to Edinburgh took place months ago.
2. Yes the neighbour had helped out previously at the time of the trip but had not done so for a while at that time.
3. WS's mum, at that time was able to spend the time on her own and had had assessments done which confirmed this was the case and carers were in place in the morning and also meals on wheels.
4. WS planned the trip with military fashion to make sure that he had covered all eventualities and even if he goes out locally, talks to his mum to make sure everything is ok. There is not an hour that goes by without this happening.
5. iT WAS ME WHO ADVISED HIM!!! He had things covered for when he was away. The only thing that I considered was that as he was going out of town it might be worthwhile at least letting a neighbour know where he was in case anything untoward happened. It was late at night so rather than chopping the door he left her a text message. To say there was a misunderstanding is only in terms of looking back because the woman sent him a message back asking who had sent the text and he answered this. He wasn't asking for help because everything was in place other than him being out of town if there was an emergency. He had written down his mobile number and left it in the house too.
6. The first complaint came some time later ..not from her..but from her mother ... WS corrected the lady's view and considered it sorted.
7. Fast forward many months, the bf is still using the situation as an excuse to cause trouble fr WS. Even between the neighbour and himself, things had been discussed and patched up!
8. The wandering is a recent thing. SW knows about it and visited only last week and was very complimentary about how well WS looks after his mum. She now has an evening carer too as WS didn't feel it was appropriate for him to be dressing his mum. This carer then helps mum go to bed. VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE that this carer totally unprompted told WS that the neighbour was causing problems, making accusations to WS's wider family about him which she absolutely knew was untrue and told her so on more than one occasion. She only told WS about it when she was worried about how things were affecting him both mentally and physically.
9. As him mum deteriorated a bit recently, WS was encouraged by SW/carers to get out for the day again to have a break. Yet again he organised everything. HE DID arrange for extra care then for her to have her evening meal at his cousins house. Things worked so well all round that the SW left the extra care in place and so did his cousin so that he can have a break, because his mum refuses to go into respite care.
10. WS himself, as he has explained before, suffers from anxiety disorder and this in itself makes him do things with military precision and what he uses TP is to seek reassurance that there isn't something more that he can/should be doing. He is more likely, for this reason, guilty of overkill rather than acts of omission.
11. I hope this explained why some are getting the wrong end of the stick here and whilst WS has diligently answered your posts, what has been missing is the timeframe of all the little bits because they didn't all happen last week or last month even but rather, over many months in total.
Hope this helps,
Fiona
1. The trip to Edinburgh took place months ago.
2. Yes the neighbour had helped out previously at the time of the trip but had not done so for a while at that time.
3. WS's mum, at that time was able to spend the time on her own and had had assessments done which confirmed this was the case and carers were in place in the morning and also meals on wheels.
4. WS planned the trip with military fashion to make sure that he had covered all eventualities and even if he goes out locally, talks to his mum to make sure everything is ok. There is not an hour that goes by without this happening.
5. iT WAS ME WHO ADVISED HIM!!! He had things covered for when he was away. The only thing that I considered was that as he was going out of town it might be worthwhile at least letting a neighbour know where he was in case anything untoward happened. It was late at night so rather than chopping the door he left her a text message. To say there was a misunderstanding is only in terms of looking back because the woman sent him a message back asking who had sent the text and he answered this. He wasn't asking for help because everything was in place other than him being out of town if there was an emergency. He had written down his mobile number and left it in the house too.
6. The first complaint came some time later ..not from her..but from her mother ... WS corrected the lady's view and considered it sorted.
7. Fast forward many months, the bf is still using the situation as an excuse to cause trouble fr WS. Even between the neighbour and himself, things had been discussed and patched up!
8. The wandering is a recent thing. SW knows about it and visited only last week and was very complimentary about how well WS looks after his mum. She now has an evening carer too as WS didn't feel it was appropriate for him to be dressing his mum. This carer then helps mum go to bed. VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE that this carer totally unprompted told WS that the neighbour was causing problems, making accusations to WS's wider family about him which she absolutely knew was untrue and told her so on more than one occasion. She only told WS about it when she was worried about how things were affecting him both mentally and physically.
9. As him mum deteriorated a bit recently, WS was encouraged by SW/carers to get out for the day again to have a break. Yet again he organised everything. HE DID arrange for extra care then for her to have her evening meal at his cousins house. Things worked so well all round that the SW left the extra care in place and so did his cousin so that he can have a break, because his mum refuses to go into respite care.
10. WS himself, as he has explained before, suffers from anxiety disorder and this in itself makes him do things with military precision and what he uses TP is to seek reassurance that there isn't something more that he can/should be doing. He is more likely, for this reason, guilty of overkill rather than acts of omission.
11. I hope this explained why some are getting the wrong end of the stick here and whilst WS has diligently answered your posts, what has been missing is the timeframe of all the little bits because they didn't all happen last week or last month even but rather, over many months in total.
Hope this helps,
Fiona
