My mum has gradually stopped eating and drinking except for a few mouthfuls now and again and is very frail. She is now being nursed in bed. We have had numerous discussions with both care home staff and GP (who prescribed Fortisip and similar supplements). The staff have tried very hard and spent a lot of time with mum but if she refuses food/drink adamantly they have to accept that and so do I. Mum doesn't eat/drink any better if I try either.
I have agreed that I do not want them to resort to any kind of tube feeding and just want her to be kept comfortable and pain-free. Also have said no hospitalisation. GP agrees. When I look back, when she was still living at home in the first half of the year and even before that, we were all worried that she wasn't eating properly and at the time thought this was because of practical problems with cooking, shopping etc. Now I'm not so sure.
However, in your situation I would hope you're a long way from where we are now. 10 days is quite a short time to come to terms with this huge change and things may gradually improve. I think it's good that they are wanting to discuss this now rather than just hoping it will get better by itself. The review is a good chance for you to check that they are dong everything they can.
I would want to know exactly how they are trying to help mum eat to make sure that no stone is left unturned. I'd want to see detailed food/fluid charts of what is eaten/drunk and when. (Mum's records show amounts by teaspoonful or ml.) Have they tried adapted cutlery so it's easier to manipulate or plates with hot water reservoirs so hot food stays hot and more palatable? Does someone always stay with her to encourage eating or do they leave her to it? Could they make different food for her based on what you know she liked? Does she eat better in a social setting in the dining room or on her own in her room?
Are they weighing her regularly? Amount and speed of weight loss is one of the main triggers for GP to refer to specialist dietician as well as prescription of Fortisip or similar supplements. They had to monitor this for at least a month before considering further action but I asked for GP to see her early on so at least he was aware of the issue.
Apart from the food issue, if she is not settling in other ways eg refusing personal care or participation in activities I think at the meeting you will want them to clearly explain their concerns, find out what they are doing to help and see what ideas you can come up with based on your knowledge of your mum.